Private Passions

There sure were an overabundance of films like this in the 1980's. I suppose you might classify it as a "sex comedy". It's quite tame by American standards for the genre but there was both female and male flesh on display and also an attempt at some humor so...I dunno.

A young American man goes to visit his cousin in Austria. For some reason, everyone speaks English. I'll be honest, the film makers do something I absolutely despise. They dub the entire movie after it's been filmed. It looks and sounds horrible. Anyway, the American is in lust with his cousin's stepsister but there's a problem. The cousin is in also in lust with his stepsister. The American is wishy washy throughout the entire film and has all the charisma found in your average styrofoam cup. The female lead is your typical long-haired blonde with no acting talent beyond standing around looking bored.

There is some tennis playing, sporadic bouts of sex, pointless dinner conversations and bicycle riding. The "action" found in the film consists entirely of one scene where someone falls through a ceiling. Thrilling! Throw in an obnoxiously awful 1980's song that plays repeatedly throughout the film and it adds up to an hour and a half of life being wasted away. 2/10

Another "Private Lessons" you might think… not quite. There's a teenage boy (well in his mid-teens - I think?) and a seductive older lady (who doesn't really come into the scheme of things until the last 10 minutes), but this lad isn't really in love with her... It's her daughter he fancies.

Canadian teenager Mark travels to Europe on summer vacation to visit his uncle and cousin Tono. He also meets Tono's new stepmother and her drop dead gorgeous daughter Clair. Tono finds out that Mark is a virgin and tries to get him laid while also spending time playing tennis, admiring the views, drinking, smoking and hanging out with girls. However Mark begins to for in love with Clair, and the feeling is mutual at first until she breaks his heart. His obsession for her eats away at him and the relationship with Tono. So Tono's stepmother Kathrine steps in to mend a broken heart.

So no it isn't in the tradition of the raunchy sex comedy "Private Lessons", like the synopsis of the video has you believe. It does have the elements of many films of its ilk from its decade, as "Private Passions" plays out more like a generic, but awkwardly written (as the serious moments can be unintentionally laughable) and acted heartfelt teen drama about the pain and joy of your first real love and sexual experience. How sweet. Actually it isn't too bad, but at the same time it's rather forgettable posturing. As a straight out comedy it missed the laughs, one or two sequences aside and David Siegel's lively comic performance as the openly frank Tono gives it much added boost. Also the film is set/shot in Austria, where the beautifully framed locations makes for nice scenery and local colour. To add to the thriving decor is sultry actresses Sybil Danning (who before following this appeared in "They're Playing with Fire")… she surfaces here and there, but there's just not enough of this stunning lady.

The rest of the performances mainly fall on the bland side. Gavin Brennan's leaden acting as the sensitive Mark turns somewhat a wet blanket. Voluptuous blonde buxom Susanne Ashley looks lovely, but it's a cold performance. The camera really does leer on her in many shots, namely the undressing scene in the bathroom. There's also a bit of nudity and sex on show, but never caught in a crude sense. Kikuo Kawasaki's direction is sure-footed, but not particularly exciting due to the lack of bounce and along the way it pumps out a cheesy and mushy sounding soundtrack.

My review was written in April 1985 after watching the film on Prism video cassette.

"Private Passions" is a miscalculated entry in the ongoing glut of "the first time" teenage sex picture. Filmed in Kitzbuhel, Austria in 1983 under the title "Clair", pic offers countryside scenery and little else.

Thin story as cousin Mark (Gavin Brannan) from Canada visiting Toni (David Siegel) for the summer. Between visits to the local disco and tennis courts. Mark falls in love with Toni's beautiful stepsister Clair (Susanne Ashley) but is ultimately too timid to have sex with her.

There is no surprise in the final reel when Mark cries on the shoulder of Clair's mom (Sybil Danning) and she sympathetically introduces him to the European version of tea & sympathy.

Film's only drawing card is B-picture star Danning, t fans are bound to be angry by her avoidance of nudity even during the finale's older woman-younger boy sex scene. Also disconcerting is that nearly all the women in the pic handle direct sound English dialog (even the supporting players) while the two young male leads are postsynched.

Lacking comedy hijinks, romantic film has little to offer contemporary audiences.