- Big Horse Borelli: You know, a lot of people said that Stan only looked out for himself, that he wasn't a team player. But I'm here to tell you, if you get 3000 hits, you don't have to be a team player. If you have a lifetime .314 average, you don't have to be a good guy. If you lead the league in batting for three years, you can be the biggest jerk in the world!
- Tom Arnold: Hey, we're sorry about all that stuff we said before you hit that homer...
- Stan: Yeah, you wouldn't be anywhere if it wasn't for Roseanne.
- Norton: Hey Ross, why don't you just go sit on the bench? You're not getting this hit off of me. Deal with it!
- Rex 'T-Rex' Pennebaker: When you get a base hit in this millennium, then you can come on down there, and talk to me.
- Stan: Yo, T-Rex! Hold up. You know why I stepped in tonight with them reporters?
- Rex 'T-Rex' Pennebaker: Yeah. Because you can't stand to see another brother getting some attention.
- Stan: Boy, that's what you think?
- Rex 'T-Rex' Pennebaker: Yeah man, that's what I think.
- Stan: Let me tell you something. You keep talking about yourself the way you do, boasting about yourself, you're going to end up all by yourself, alone and empty, like you are right now. You know what's going to happen? They're gonna retire your number someday, and Big Horse Berelli gonna be standing right up there with you.
- Rex 'T-Rex' Pennebaker: [scoffs] Yeah? Who the hell is Big Horse Berelli?
- Stan: That's my point exactly. Nice car.
- [Stan walks away whistling the Mister Softee tune]
- [T-Rex has hit a solo home run and does a dance before crossing home plate]
- Giants Catcher: What the hell is that?
- Rex 'T-Rex' Pennebaker: That right there, that's a little something something for Sportscenter. Plus, that's going to look tight on next year's video game.
- [T-Rex is congratulated by teammates after entering the dugout]
- Stan: What the hell you call yourself doin'?
- Rex 'T-Rex' Pennebaker: Yo, I'm putting the show IN the Show.
- Stan: But your team losing. Instead of you playing, you making like Mr. Bojangles.
- Rex 'T-Rex' Pennebaker: I just hit a home run, son. Maybe you was taking a grandpa nap during that part.
- Stan: But your team gettin' picked off. Your boys ain't beating out grounders. There should have been two men on when you hit that homer. It should be a ballgame right now.
- Rex 'T-Rex' Pennebaker: Yo, so yell at them, old school. Get up out of my face, man, I did my job.
- Stan: But you the - you the superstar. You set the tone.
- Rex 'T-Rex' Pennebaker: Listen here. When you get a base hit, in this millennium, then you can come on down there, and talk to me.