The Anna Nicole Show

First of all, before I comment on this, let me set the record straight. I don't watch much TV. I prefer not to. The overabundance of idiotic reality TV shows and ungodly irritating commercials makes me wonder how the human being can withstand such systematic torture for such prolonged periods of time. With the exception of "The History Channel", "Sundance/IFC", the news, and some documentary channels, TV is an absolute waste. And I realize I'll probably receive some sort of backlash because of my comment on television altogether, but in all honesty I don't really care because I'm entitled to my opinion just like you're entitled to your own. Anyway, one with "Anna Nicole Show"...

Wow, really, wow! I realize that TV's trying to cater to society's lowest common denominator, but this is ridiculous! Someone please tell me how this became one of the highest rated shows on the network! Please tell me why any of this is viewed as funny. For comedy, I find things funny because of timing and comedic talent. Anna Nicole herself is such a no-talent brain-dead, we wonder if she even knows her own ass from a hole in the ground. If the answer to finding Anna Nicole funny is that it's a "riot" to watch her bumble around from place to place with only one hemisphere of her mind turned on, then the answer doesn't make me laugh. It makes me cringe. Sure we like to laugh at people like Anna Nicole, but isn't there an infinitely better and vaster amount of things to watch besides that?

And again, those of you watching it and find enjoyment out of it...go ahead! Feel free to watch it! I'm not one to say watch it or don't. But watching something like "Anna Nicole" and seeing how someone show dull in intelligence can make so much money and celebrity causes me to fear greatly for the future generations to come, whatever those may be.

I'm not sure why I enjoy this, because as other people have said, there certainly are grosser and more outlandish things on TV. These shows really are about nothing. One is about Anna looking for a house. Period. Another is about Anna having an eating contest with her attorney. Period. Another is about Anna going for a driving test. Period. And of course all have a sub-plot involving flambouyant Bobby Trendy decorating her house (which never seems to get done). I guess it all boils down to the fact that it is just amazing to watch someone who was so glamorous, sexy and unattainable turn into someone who doesn't care that she has crawled under a table and gotten her butt stuck between two legs! Her speech is almost always slurred so badly that it is very hard to believe she is not on pain killers or muscle relaxers and booze most of the time. But I love her!! I think her "Screw it" attitude is great! She just does not seem to care about anything! She knows there are cameras following her around at all times but thinks nothing of chowing down on Doritos and Stawberry Quik! I really feel sorry for her 2 assistants, Howard and Kim, who come across as being very desperate and secretly in love with her - both putting up with her childish temper tantrums. In one episode, Anna threw a fit and cursed out Kim because they were playing "Punch-Buggy" and Anna was insisting that the "new Volkswagon Beetles" do not count while Kim said that they did. So Anna got really angry - not "kidding around angry" but cursing her out and truly being p***ed off!! I guess Kim really doesn't have any other choice than to put up with it since she has Anna's face tattooed all over her body. Regardless of how heavy she is though, Anna still has a beautiful face, probably one of the most beautiful faces in the world. And it is refreshing to see a beautiful celebrity truly being herself, no matter how stupid and childish, rather than taking on the same boring mundane personality that is expected of them and that most other celebrities take.

If you like to laugh and aren't wrapped too tight then tune into this show. It's about……well it's about nothing (just like Seinfeld). In a nutshell the camera follows Anna Nicole around with her little entourage. One show had her looking to buy a new house another one she goes to an amusement park to ride the roller coasters etc. She's ditzy and seems like she's on her own planet. Is it an act? Who knows…who cares it's hilarious.

I recently took a bet from a friend that I couldn't watch the first season DVD set of The Anna Nicole Show all in one night. The bad news is I won this bet. I don't enjoy watching a mentally unstable or heavily medicated woman go about her life. I didn't enjoy her trip to Chipendale's. Nor her goin to see "Puppetry of the Penis". I could've lived without seeing Anna's toothless white trash cousin flashing multiple times AND I had no desire to see Margerette Cho make out with Anna. (although I always had Cho pegged as being like that). Oh did I mention that the DVDs are uncensored, so all of the above possibly scarred me for life. Also on the commentary for the Christmas special Anna herself says some of it is faked by the E! crew. My Grade: F

After watching this show, I feel yucky. Anna Nicole Smith is one of the most repellent 'personalities' to ooze across the TV screen in this generation. I use the term 'personality' liberally. She, nor her entourage possess even a modicum of insight, tenderness, humor or drama. A typical day in the life of Anna Nicole (and by proxy, a typical show) consists of people eating (sometimes in contests) , decorating her house, watching TV, shopping, driving around, going to the bathroom, throwing temper tantrums, sneering in a barely coherent girlish voice that sounds like she's perpetually drunk and consorting with various freaks and lowlifes. Sounds like anybodies boring life (save for the freaks and lowlifes perhaps...) but the producers of this show seem to think because Anna Nicole is super rich, it makes for an interesting TV show. Actually, it looks like the producers realized they had a problem so to enliven things, they occasionally dress her up in skin tight clothes that accentuates her rotund (and growing) physique, especially her rhino-sized butt. She eats so much food on this show that the viewer can actually see her putting on weight over the course of a few episodes.

Watch one episode. Anything more is gluttony.