The Captives

What an awful, awful, awful movie. I tried *REALLY* hard to find something worth while in this and came up empty. I did enjoy the ending of the movie immensely, but that was only because it meant my suffering was over.

The story (which is *completely* irrelevant to the actual movie) is that some guy rapes and kills a woman on his brother's property. The guy goes to jail and because his brother tried to help him cover up the act he goes in for accessory to murder. He then escapes, meets up with his girlfriend and then introduces her to the 'gifts' he has stored in the basement, which is just a couple of people that somehow wronged him at his trial. He intends to kill them and her, so she tries to escape, struggles with and then subsequently kills the brother.

She's now home alone with 3 people that incidentally also wronged her in the past, so it's payback time.

At this point the movie has finally reached the part that people watching this movie paid for. Problem is it took almost 40 minutes to get there, and a *LOT* of those 40 minutes were spent watching long stupid scenes of nothing shot like your dad would film something with his handycam while walking. The background noise during this was a bunch of annoying buzzes and shreeks. Guess even soundtracks cost a lot of money these days.

The acting... It's a stretch to even call what they are doing 'acting', but for argument's sake let's do so. It's terrible. There's a scene where one of the 'actors' actually laughs when he's clearly supposed to be in pain. My guess is these 'actors', if they were even slightly serious about their acting career, pretty much blew it by signing on for this movie. If they had an agent, he should be shot (or worse, be forced to watch this movie).

There's a whole bunch of nudity in the movie, and while the main subject isn't exactly ugly, she probably won't become Miss Universe anytime soon. I think she's also the most tattoo-covered girl I've seen on film ever. There's a pretty explicit up-close and personal masturbation scene with her too, but that's about it. When she then does a similar thing with one of her captives, there's a striking lack of close-ups of the act. If anything would've been considered shocking (which is probably what the movie was intended to do) *THAT* would've been it.

Oh yeah, to keep some sort of story going, every so often they cut to black and white segments of her moaning on about why who did what. Aside from the fact that absolutely nobody cares about the story, this monotonous monologue is about as interesting as listening to someone reading entries out of the phone book.

If you have any plans at all to go watch this, PLEASE DON'T! If you wanted to see it for the shock-value, watch either "I Spit On Your Grave (1978)" or the less sexual "Broken" video by Nine Inch Nails front man Trent Reznor. And if you wanted to just see the naked girl, rent a porno. I can guarantee you it'll be more interesting, have a better story, makeup, lighting, acting and BUDGET, and give you a lot more value for your dollar.

0 out of 10. Avoid at all cost.

A variation of the more famous cult title, I Spit on Your Grave, which had a woman seeking revenge on her rapists, one by one, in bloody fashion, including the castration scene in a bath tub. The aforementioned is a masterpiece compared with this mess.

Sandy(Emily Hack) is the woman wronged, by everybody, it seems, and so she goes on a sadistic rampage. She shoots one of the men in the balls; ouch! Bad man number two is burned with a cigarette and forced to defecate, and then forced like Fido, to have his face shoved into it; bad dog. He is having a really bad day, which ends with an angry Sandy turning Lizzie Borden with an axe.

The last guy gets to watch our heroine pleasure herself with a broom handle, and then she uses it on him in a very unnatural manner; holy s***, all we have here is torture porn. No budget, bad acting, and a supposed eight day shoot, make I Spit... a waste of seventy one minutes of my life.

I'm a horror/gore movie freak and this flick was so bad, I felt embarrassed for not only the "actors", but also the director and the poor sap of a producer who actually put his money up for this schlock.

From the title, you'd expect some great carnage, somewhat of a storyline and at LEAST some direction or dialog. Instead, you get what looks like a slightly more violent and sexual Three Stooges episode. At least I laugh at the Three Stooges. While watching this crap, I turned another TV on and started watching Howard Stern until something interesting happened.

Needless to say, I kept watching Stern.

Watching this "film" I realize that I could produce a film with three monkeys, 2 DV cameras, $50 dollars in loose change and a broken PC. This film is my inspiration to get into no-budget film making. Watch this movie if you dare, but be warned...there is a lot of nothing in here but a whole lot of talking and very little action. This makes "KaZaam" look like a Meryl Streep film.

I'm sure Germany didn't ban it due to sex or violence. Other countries need to take heed.

NO SPOILERS.

I love horror movies, but this has got to be the poorest attempt to make one ever. Calling it "a movie" is also a stretch. This "random-clips-of-obviously-fake-and-tacky-violence-and-an-ugly- woman-trying-to-act-sexy-edited-poorly-together" is not worth watching.

Watching this is about as interesting watching as some random family's holiday pictures, and it has about the same quality you would expect when you send your ten year old son into the woods with your new vid-cam, and tell him to make a movie.

Terrible.

Picture the fugly annoying goth kids from college in a scat film, throw in a pinch of story and a whole lot of awful acting, and you are still not even close to how bad this movie is.

Shot badly, bad effects, worse acting. Contrived attempt at shocking horror. Everyone I've showed this to gets kinda depressed watching it. The sex scenes are disturbing, not necessarily for their content, but more because they're just something you want to end as soon as possible. The last sex scene is just foul, even before she gets to the guy.

I'm one of those people that loves to watch movies that people hate, which is why I picked this one up. But for your own sake, save yourself the time and avoid this abhorrence. It's that bad. I literally threw it in the garbage.