El ataque de los tiburones III

I watched this film a couple of nights ago and found it positively hysterical. It feels like either a really good spoof of Jaws (and lets face it, how many good spoofs do we get nowadays?) or a completely awful rip off of Jaws. From the very first scene with the cigar-chomping incomprehensible sailor guy to the magical size changing shark I was rolling around on the floor laughing. There are actors who look like they are laughing when they are supposed to be crying, there are random bikini girls who strut by during most of the talking scenes, and I haven't even started on the gems in the script (I won't spoil any of it, but it's safe to say: If you know anyone who talks like this in day to day life, please slap them). You have to see this movie.

I can say in all seriousness that this film is the funniest I have ever had the good fortune to watch. The fact that the humor is unintentional only makes it that much better (unless this is all a joke and it really is supposed to be this bad). In any case, anyone who feels like their life is going poorly, just remember: not once, at any point in your life have you ever produced anything half as bad as this movie. Everything about this movie, from the script to the acting and, especially, to the special effects, is literally laugh-out-loud funny. I strongly strongly recommend Shark Attack 3: Megalodon to anyone who hasn't revelled in its B-movie glory.

When I first watched the movie, I recognized a lot of footage from underwater documentaries (the producers should check copywright details with the estate of cmdr. Cousteau & others). The first half of the movie was no more than a lame excuse to show naked women and people being eaten. If you look close you can actually see a lot of editing mistakes. PS. sharks do not roar like some kind of mutated dog in the water !!!

When the director tries to create the feeling that the shark is swimming at a tremendous depth, you can see the surface in the background. The same goes vice versa.

In the second half there are different sharks taking on the role of the lead character. The actual megalodon is displayed as a 30's monster that eats everything in its path. A shark (even a Megalodon), would never eat a full size motorboat or jetski, try passing such a thing true your intestine...?. And why, were people jumping in the water when there is a shark attacking your boat? Why .... you should check it out yourself, you'll find lots of fun things to discuss.

This movie is pretty much at the top of the bad movie food chain. I laughed at literally every scene, I don't know how they managed to make a simple thing like the hero typing an email funny but they did.

The first thing you notice about the movie is the shark is either shown as shark footage (which is fair enough) or something that looks like it was made in Microsoft paint. I'm guessing bad actors are drawn to bad scripts like sharks to chum and this chum is especially fishy. Witness the security guard who just has to say a couple of simple lines but is quite clearly reading from a cue card he can't quite see. Most movies would cut him out, especially as the scene is pointless.

I also especially liked the helicopter pilot, if a man doesn't twitch a muscle at the sight of a 100ft shark then it's hard to imagine anything in life really moving him. Maybe he's just feeling down because his helicopter is quite clearly a toy or maybe he's just bemused because the shark grunts like a pig throughout the film.

The best scene doesn't involve the shark at all. They're stood on the beach and our hero delivers one of the worst lines ever written. If you've seen the movie you know the one, if not then you have the right to discover the beauty of it yourself.

Probably the funniest film ever made, no bad movie shelf is complete without it. Fingers crossed they make another one with the exact same cast and writer.

If you enjoy B-movies, this is one for you, plenty of nudity, a Tom Cruise look-a-like and even more stock shark footage. If that's not enough, the lead lady was actually in the first Shark Attack movie as a different character. This one makes me want to see the other two with my friends and laugh until I get sick. You really can appreciate a movie like this if you were an avid MST3K watcher. Oh yeah, contains the CORNIEST LINE EVER! You will not miss it, trust me.