El jardinero maldito

I FINALLY got to see this movie. I was looking forward to it but was thoroughly disappointed. The plot, if any was there, was lame and tired at best. The acting was below sub-par (for the corpse). The directing was too choppy with jagged scene shifts and the lighting and audio need help. I would not recommend this double-bogey movie to anyone.

What saves this film is that the tone is just right, funny and laidback and tongue in cheek. No cure for cancer, just a groovy goodtime.

The actors are all comfortable in front of the camera, especially the lead actor, who just strolls through his scenes with a been there done that attitude that is a refreshing change from the furrowed brow method that passes for acting these days.

The screenplay is funny and lean, bad dialogue is not a detriment here.

The SFX are of the pump blood from under the weapon variety, but some are very creative and funny. Their unrealistic quality adds to the film's charm.

All the bad points of this film work for it in the long run. The inane conclusion to the inane plot fits because the filmmakers knew that they were making a spoof.

The film did seem very static and some scenes meandered to pad the film out, but this is common in a low budget movie.

The trailer is misleading however. John Rocker fans will be disappointed when they find that he is only in the movie for five minutes. The filmmakers acknowledge this in the screenplay; it is part of the joke so I can call no foul on it.

Overall, a fine horror spoof of the slasher films I grew up with, with a refreshing choice for lead actor, interesting kills, and a laid back feel that makes it easy to like.

Release date is September 9, 2003.

1) If you enjoyed movies like "Don't go in the House," or "Don't go in the Basement," then you must like low budget horror films that are so campy they are funny. The Greenskeeper is one of those movies.

2) If you laughed during Final Destination 2 because people were killed off in a funny manner then you'll also laugh at the way adults (not teens) are killed off in The Greenskeeper.

3) If seeing a couple killed while they are having sex bothers you than this is not the movie for you. Although the way he kills them is so gross and so funny that you will be laughing and gaging at the same time.

The point of this movie is not to scare you but to make you laugh.

You laugh not because of any witty banter but because the banter is so bad that you groan.

You laugh because the budget for special effects was so low that the killings looked really fake but that's the beauty of seeing these types of films. In fact at the end of the movie when one of the special effects gets a little carried away the actors broke character and started laughing but the producers kept this shot anyway. The producers understood they were not making some great piece of art to scare you off of a golf course.

If you are a John Rocker fan and plan on buying this movie because he's in it let me warn you ahead of time you'll only get to see John's face for maybe a total of 2 minutes during the film. About half of his screen time is spent in make-up like a serious burn victim (The rest of the time he looks very cute). When the killer goes on his rampage he's in a beekeepers bonnet so you can't see his face. The producers said they had asked John (not his character) to help out by throwing tennis balls off camera onto the tennis court when the tennis ball machine broke down.

I do plan on buying this movie because I love horror movies that can make me laugh and gag at the same time.

The Greenskeeper is an emotionally shattering experience that will undeniably open your eyes to what cinema can TRULY be. It isn't so much the character's usage of booze or crack, but rather, the emotion that the Greenskeeper conveys that truly sets him apart from your standard slasher villain. The subtle, nuanced performance by John Rocker will captivate the viewer and draw you into the mind of a disturbed, misunderstood soul. When the film is finally released to the general public, do not be surprised if you hear Oscar buzz soon building, not only for Rocker, but for the rest of the exceptional cast as well. In particular, the character of Otis Washington is played marvelously by Thomas Merdis, although it fails to match his prior performance in My Cousin Vinny as The Man in Town Square, which I am positive everyone remembers. All in all this film can only be described as brilliant, although if I were to TRULY and ACCURATELY sing it's praises, I would be sitting here typing all night... Don't miss this mindblowing combination of sex, drugs, and Rocker.

It seems like everywhere you turn there's some horror movie that's trying to be a throwback to the golden age of eighties slashers. However, none that I've come across have perfectly captured the magic that can be found within a VHS of something like BLOOD RAGE or ROCKTOBER BLOOD. Some have come close (CLUB DREAD), and others have failed miserably. So which category does THE GREENSKEEPER fall under?

Allen is the assistant greens keeper at a lush country club, which his mother and stepfather/ex-uncle own. Some snobby young adults convince him to let them in after the place is closed for a little party. However, someone wearing a greens keeper's outfit begins picking them off in various creative and gruesome ways. Is it Allen, who's had enough with the snobs that tease him? Is it Otis, the head greens keeper who's a little loopy? Or is it Allen's father, back from the dead?

The only thing that saved THE SLEEPER from being complete bottom of the barrel trash was the kills, which really brought be back to the methods of murder in classic late twentieth-century slashers. The same almost applies for THE GREENSKEEPER. Most of the kills are reserved for the last half-hour or so, and they are SUPERB. They're gory, funny, and creative, with each utilizing the golf-theme to a tee (pun not intended). Nails are put in one of those automatic tennis ball shooters, tees are forced through someone's forehead, some gets beaten to death with a nine-iron (I think), and you know those golf ball washers? A DIFFERENT kind of balls is put in it. Ouch.

However, some of the characters in THE GREENSKEEPER are likable, including Allen, Otis, and even Allen's stoner friend. You get a sense that these are real people and they come across as very likable. The snobs that get in, however, you want to see die immediately. This is where it fails as an eighties throwback. Typically in eighties movies, we follow the group for most of the time. Here, most of the time is spent on Allen, and him getting most of the attention causes the movie to drag a tad.

However, I loved the killer's disguise, the ridiculous reveal of the killer (as well as his death), the motive, etc. There are some intentionally funny moments during the first hour or so, but as a whole, it felt very blah before the kills began. It was a bit of a chore to sit through, but the brilliant deaths made up for it.

Overall, I liked it. It's nothing special, but it's a decently fun watch if you want to get your slasher kicks. It's far from a perfect slasher, but it's really not that bad as far as entertainment goes.

Don't go in expecting a new classic, but you could certainly do worse.