Cryptz

This movie was really bad. The acting was horrible. The special effects were bad. The vampires did not seem threatening at all. Apparently in this movie vampires are simply abnormally strong people with sharp teeth who like to drink blood. If you have a karate fighting muscle man on your side than the average vampire is no contest. The vampire hunter doesn't even use weapons. So silly. This movie is on the same level as a bunch of teenagers trying to make a vampire movie with a hand recording camera.. and I'm not exaggerating. I thought this movie was a sequel to the very popular and entertaining TALES FROM THE CRYPT. Instead I ended up watching one of the worst stripper vampire movies since Bordello of Blood. Putting a bunch of attractive girls in a movie with some fight scenes aren't going to satisfy most people. Avoid this movie unless you and your friends want a good mystery science theatre film to make fun off. The only bonus is the DVD comes with another movie. I don't recall it being advertised so I was surprised to find it. The second movie is RAGDOLL, which is actually worse than Cryptz, so the surprise bonus was a real let down. At least with 2 movies I got half my rentals worth. Overall it's not worth your time.

Right, well given the title of the movie and the movie's cover, then I hadn't any much of any particular hopes or expectations for the movie. But still, I believe in giving all movies a fair chance, so I sat down to watch the 2002 movie "Cryptz" (aka "Vampz in the Hood") as I hadn't seen it before. Actually, I didn't even know about its existence before now, late in 2019.

Well, with "Cryptz" you might want to think "From Dusk to Dawn", except change the cast with an all African-American cast, remove the budget, cut away the big names from the cast list, and throw in B-movie production, then you have "Cryptz". Yup, as simple as that.

The storyline was very much a copy-paste job off of "From Dusk to Dawn", just with less entertainment value and laughable acting performances. Now, personally I can't take people serious when they act and talk all 'ghetto' or whatever the term is. And that was, unfortunately, the way most people portrayed the characters in this movie.

The vampires in the movie were actually quite good, and that alone made it durable to sit through this ordeal of a vampire movie. Sexy ladies? Check. Pointy fangs? Check. Scantily dressed? Check. So what is not to like about that, and it is no secret that writer Scott Phillips and director Danny Draven knew this as well, and were playing on that to make the movie more interesting.

As for the characters in the movie. Well, that can be summarized with one single word: nah. The character gallery in "Vampz" was just laughable and ridiculous. I couldn't take any of the main cast seriously, with the way they talked, acted and dressed. The vampires, now that was another matter, and they made the movie watchable at least.

"Vampz" is a low budget and poor-man's rendering of "From Dusk to Dawn", pure and simple. Was it worth sitting through to the end? Hardly so, but still I managed to endure.

I am rating "Vampz" a mere three out of ten stars. There are far better vampire movies readily available out there.

I've been on somewhat of a horror kick lately. It all started last year when I rented Draven's "Hell Asylum." Easily the worst film I'd ever seen. But I saw a trailer for "Dead & Rotting" and I found myself interested, if only to have a good laugh. D&R was slightly better but not good at all. I gave Hell Asylum a 1/10 and D&R a 2/10. So flash forward now to this year where I rented "Draniac!" Horrible piece of garbage. 1/10. Then "Bleed," 2/10, perhaps only better for the sake of lots of nudity, although I don't see the appeal of Debbie Rochon? She's pale as all hell and is not attractive at all. I'm getting to "Cryptz", ok? Either for Hell Asylum or D&R I saw the trailer for "Cryptz", which also interested me but I didn't get around to renting it for an entire year. I'm glad I finally saw it. This is the best of the Schlock Horror movies I've ever seen. While the production value is still not there, the story and actors were thoroughly enjoyable. I didn't dig on the hooded druids all that much, but Draven himself ripped on them as well in the documentary. That's right! The DVD of Cryptz has a documentary on the making of this film. I urge you to check it out. The cast & crew seemed to really enjoy themselves here, and I found it interesting for the fact that I'm looking for a career in film as well. Not bad at all. 5/10

I think that Zuvembie #1 is awesome! She's scary as all hell! I just thought the movie was all right until those hooded creatures showed up and that's when I thought the movie got good. Props to the actress Julia Marchese for doing such a good job!

Tymez lives with his mother and hopes to perhaps become a rapper with his buddies. His mother wants him to get a job, but when he goes out he gets together with his friends and they spot a busty woman and flirt with her. They then try to find the club she works at, "Cryptz," by calling a spooky friend of theirs named Truck who they think know all about underground clubs and things like that. He's a meditating muscleman.

Truck warns them against trying to find the woman or the club, and when he learns Tymez was touched by her, he instructs them to duct tape him to his bed. Instead, they fall asleep in front of a TV, and Tymez wakes up with his face burning and he runs to the club with his friends in tow. At the club, they're pretty happy watching women dancing, but when the call Truck again they're warned again, and indeed most of the people at the club are vampires!

This was a fairly silly low-budget horror movie, so it's hard to be too harsh on it. However, some of the scenes really drag. The scene where the three guys are trying to decide how to find the woman goes on for a long time, for example, with little camera movement. I guess they felt obligated to shoot all the dialog that was scripted, and then were happy with it, but it could have been cut down.

The ending is fairly lame. The day ends, but there are some loose ends almost like a set-up for a sequel, and weirdest of all is something involving Tymez' tattoo.

Not recommended, but as I said, it's not terrible.