C.B. Hustlers

I got this on a double feature DVD with a biopic of Evel Knievel for $2. It's about a bunch of hookers who operate out of a van and seduce truckers, and a journalist hot for a story with a CB radio who tries to shut down their operations. I thought it'd be some laughable C-grade obscure 70's porn I could put on at parties and such, but there's only about, ooh, 5% sex in this. I watched the first 10 minutes or so, and after I had got my fill of long shots of a bunch of people standing around vans drinking & talking, I put it on 2x speed setting and watched the rest of the film that way. Even with the sex scenes, and at twice the speed, it was still pretty slow & boring. Somehow, though, I strangely feel as if my dollar was justified. Hence the 2 rating.

so,in the less than 30 minutes i could stomach of this puke before losing my lunch,i saw more nudity than in most pornos,not to mention worse acting.supposedly the plot is that many van drivers on the highway assist the big rig truckers in avoiding the highway police by creating blockades,or distracting the police(usually,with a big pair of well placed boobs,for the male cops,anyway)now,i'm all for showing naked women with big boobs,but when every scene is simply an excuse for a woman to get naked,it just gets stupid.i can imagine the(so called) director setting up the scene:"Okay ladies,listen up,this is very complicated,but important so pay attention-take off your clothes!please don't make me go through it all again".like i alluded to earlier,the acting was lower quality than any porn movie.for the male parts,i imagine they went through a rigorous selection process before they found the right guys.I think it went something like this:they randomly picked a guy off the street and said "hey,dude,you wanna be in a movie?,there just might possibly be some naked breasts involved".man,i bet they had to weed out a lot of hopefuls.as for finding the women,it would have been a similar process something along the lines of:"hey baby,make ya a star".boy,how rigorous and exhausting that must have been for the film(and i use that very loosely)makers.now this is billed as a comedy,and it is indeed a comedy(for all the wrong reasons)but you may not know that it is also a horror movie-the horror being that it ever saw the light of day.i actually lost the will to live for awhile after seeing this.truly beyond putrid.

The film is carried in great part by crack newsman reporter Mountain Dean (Richard Kennedy) overacting and a decent sound track. Unfortunately, there isn't a laugh out loud moments, kind of like watching a sitcom, the movie actually makes you like the girls and their soul searching pimp Dancer played adequately by John Alderman. The movie features a 28 year old Uschi Digard who looks quite beautiful especially when her wonderfully natural unclad breasts appear.

The good nature feel of the movie, Uschi, and the fact that it only runs for 75 minutes earn it a tenuous 4.

Plot, deals with a group of three 'pavement princesses' and their pimp working out of two custom vans. The preferred clientèle are 18-wheel truck drivers, and of course there's a nemesis in the form of an inept backwater newspaper man who overhears some of their coded jargon over a CB radio and decides that morality must prevail.

I only watched this because the most lovely Uschii Digard is in it. See if you can identify the direct rip off of a John Lennon song!

The movie is directed like a porno and it's hard to watch because its so boring. Except for Digard.

The internal van scenes were shot in a studio and you can see the stage hand rocking the van to make it seem like its moving

What a train wreck.

This film begins with a couple known simply as "Dancer" (John Alderman) and "Scuzz" (Jacqueline Giroux) utilizing their CB radio and a couple of refurbished vans to establish a mobile brothel for highway truckers. Needless to say, the country sheriff "Elrod P. Ramsey" (Bruce Kimball) realizes something is going on but, because Dancer changes his location so frequently, he hasn't been able to catch up to them. What really becomes problematic, however, is the fact that a local newspaper reporter named "Mountain Dean" (Richard Kennedy) has also recently figured out what is happening, and he is determined to expose this illegal operation if it's the last thing he ever does. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say this is a film that took advantage of several opportunities that were unique to the period of time. For starters, because of the oil crisis in America a couple of years earlier, CB radios had just become quite popular, and a number of movies were produced to take advantage of this new phenomenon with "Smokey and the Bandit" and "Convoy" being two of the more popular films during this time. Likewise, it was also during this particular time that local drive-ins were so desperate for films that they would take almost anything that was available on the market--and a low-budget film like this fit the bill quite nicely. Having said that, however, it should be noted that, even though the demand was quite high for a film like this, that doesn't mean that this was a good movie by any means. It was quite bad actually with poor acting and an awful soundtrack being the main reasons. Admittedly, there are a couple of attractive actresses featured with Janus Blythe (as "Silkie"), Uschi Digard ("Dee Dee") and Catherine Barkley ("Lemon") being the primary attractions for Dancer's mobile business. Not that it really mattered, of course, considering how bad this movie actually was. Be that as it may, while a film like this might have been a staple for drive-in theaters during this particular time, it's not something I would recommend, and I have rated it accordingly.