Contra El Reloj

What could have been a reasonably acceptable action vehicle for Jet Li became completely annoying thanks to the obligatory (and ridiculously lame) inclusion of what I'd call Hollywood's fascination with "family values" and "kiddie cuteness". An R-rated action picture is no place for cutesy, resourceful brats and there's nothing more bland than an action hero straddled with a family or family members in peril. It all reeks with middle-class political correctness and made the DMX character an unnecessary annoyance. Real villains would have made short work of the kid's ears and gotten a little cooperation from that rapper a lot sooner. This one's pathetically wimpy, even with Jet versus the ultimate fighting boys; not having any gratuitous nudity is unforgivable also, especially when you set the audience up for some!

"Cradle 2 The Grave" is an action movie by the same people who brought you Romeo Must Die and Exit Wounds... And it shows. Skeleton-thin story, two-dimensional characters, and action for action's sake. Usually when you watch an action movie - not always, but usually - the action scenes serve as a means to tie the story together. In this movie, the exact opposite is true. Therefore, the flow of narrative serves only to fill the gaps between scenes where Jet Li unleashes Wushu fury on his opponents, who for the most part tend to be guys who are just in the wrong place at the wrong time. The action is well done, don't get me wrong, but for some reason Jet Li just seems uncomfortable here. Perhaps it's just the role he was given, but for some reason he never quite "clicked" with everything else that was going on.

Another gripe I had about the movie is that we're told who everyone is by other characters. Instead of showing Jet's history with the villain portrayed by Mark Dacascos, we just hear Jet saying "We used to be on the same side, he betrayed us, etc. etc." This keeps things going along at a fast pace, but personally I like my movies fleshed out a little bit - even a flashback scene would have been enough. Since it's not, the final battle really doesn't mean anything. Oh well, I guess I'm just asking too much.

I suppose that after "Kiss of the Dragon" and even "The One" I was expecting Jet Li's U.S. track record to improve, not slide backwards 3 years, to "Romeo Must Die" status. Perhaps after "Hero" is released state side we'll start getting some good projects from Li. Until then, we'll have to deal with more DMX (Get At Me, Dawg!) movies.

For now, I'll continue to watch Fist of Legend. If you haven't, I recommend you see that rather than this.

Joel Silver and Andrzej Bartkowiak once again brings us another Rap Star/Martial Artist collaboration movie in which I like to call, "Hip-Hop Chopsocky" Flicks. I enjoyed both Romeo Must Die and Exit Wounds, however I'm getting the feeling that Silver and Bartkowiak are using a Xerox copy machine to develop the next action flick. Expect everything you saw in the first two films to appear in Cradle 2 The Grave.

Yes, expect all the action sequences to drown the whole plot of the film. Yes, expect DMX to have his hip-hop soundtrack blasting in most of the action scene. Yes, expect the two protaganist of the story to reluctantly get along with each other and then later on to share a common bond at the end of the movie. Yes, expect Jet Li to have the same facial expression throughout the whole film and no more than 10 lines in the movie. Yes, expect the same fat black guy from Kangaroo Jack to be back as the black comic element. Yes, expect Tom Arnold, a guy who was once married to a woman who looked like Kangaroo Jack, to be back as other white comic element of the film. Yes, expect a night club scene and every prop seen in a Hype William music video (i.e. Jacuzzi, champagne, and big booty bitches.) Yes, expect the Rap Star actor do some martial arts of his own. (And I'd like to say to DMX, "Yo dog, stick to rappin', cuz the karate thang ain't you. You got those thin wires making you look good.") And yes, expect Jet Li to fight with his counterpart nemesis, in a ring of fire at the end of the movie. Where the hell is Johnny Cash when you need him!

And as for Jet Li, I do respect him as a martial artist but since he's been making movies in US, his skill have been more half-assed compared to what he did in his Hong Kong Flicks. The scene where Jet fights in a cage match was the only highlight of the film. However, only to be distracted with DMX's action sequences, with camera going from one scene to the other. For me, I'd rather see Jet Li do his stuff than to see DMX being pursued by cops. I live near Oakland and I see that sh*t almost every day.

Overall, I would suggest to save your money and watch Romeo Must Die and Exit Wounds at the same time. Or if you don't care what I say...Hell, go spend the $9.00! But remember "the Cradle" is robbing you!

Tony Fait is a head of a gang of thieves who are on a job to steal a bag of black diamonds. Inspector Su from Taiwan is out to stop them. The gang succeed but find themselves with both Su and crime lord Ling after the diamonds. Fait takes them to his friend Archie to have them valued but a local mobster has them stolen. To make matters worse Ling kidnaps Fait's daughter and demands the diamonds. Fait and Su join forces to get the diamonds back from the mobster, rescue Fait's daughter and bring down Ling.

I was in the UK watching a tape of the NBA All-Star game that someone had taped off US TV for a friend. Fast forwarding the adverts a movie trailer caught my eye - the trailer for this movie. Dacascos and Jet Li in a movie together! Gotta see that! I couldn't wait and was excited when I saw it coming to the UK sooner than I'd expected. So I went to see it, not expecting art but hoping for a good ride.

I was a little let down but not too much. The film has some good scenes that almost manage to hide the inherent weaknesses in script, plot, editing, direction, acting etc etc. Let me start with the plot. Now I didn't expect wonders and I didn't get them - however the film pushes things too far by making the film about a world threat - a leap of faith too far for me. The actual script is full of so many clunky lines you won't believe. Little of it sounds like people actually talking.

The main weakness were direction and editing. You see I can for Jet Li et al fighting and for action. However the fight scenes and actions scenes are edited together and directed with a frantic touch. I'd prefer to see Li at work than constantly trying to keep up with the camera switches. I can understand why they do this (many of the actors must have done their scenes one move at a time) but with Jet Li it loses much of his power to not be able to follow his moves. Some of the action works well and is exciting but too often it is just frantic direction and noise.

The cast are passable but none really excel themselves. Li is good but not fully used. He has yet to have a film that really showcases his skills. Here he has some good moves but the direction spoils them. DMX is a good rapper (I like his joints) but he can't act anywhere near well enough to manage the scenes with his `daughter' - they are awful! Outside of these he is OK but he has NO chemistry with Li. Also he doesn't convince as a ninja (!), when he runs up a wall 15 minutes into the film it just looks silly. Tom Arnold and Anderson are pretty poor as the comedy sidekicks and really just clutter the film with characters (more later). I didn't know Union was in this till I sat down, but she makes a mark. She may be shameless eye candy (I like to think I'm above these shameless crowd pleasers) but she is very hot eye candy! She does a dance in the film that is pretty pointless in terms of plot, but is worth the price of admission alone! Kelly Hu is not used well at all and her losing her cat fight towards the end is unlikely. The biggest let down for me was Mark Dacascos. I know the guy does a lot of tat but he is one of my favourite actors. I was looking forward to him and Li fighting at the end (both have skills) but again it was spoilt by bad direction and the editing of 5 other scenes in with it.

The soundtrack is heavy but it is really poorly used. The makers just seemed to drop hip hop tracks in at random with little context. The opening credits worked well and the use of DMX's `X gonna bring it to ya' really compliments the onscreen action, but mostly they just seemed thrown in to draw a certain demographic.

Overall I did enjoy this film. It has enough noise and dumb action to just about cover the weaknesses while you are watching it. However it is pretty exploitative and excessive. Did we need to have EVERYTHING blow up in the end - no. Did we need to Gabrielle Union sexily stripping - no (but it was worth it!). It's not original and it is banged up with clichés (ring of fire showdown), and it's is inherently weak. But lets be honest we came for action, and it is just about passable in that. Worth a watch if you keep your expectations low.

Ive seen a lot of bad reviews for this film and i am sick of these dorks that only give monsters ball and other films of the genre high ratings because of nudity and "good scripts". This is an action movie wit jet Li and it delivers what you would expect. Hell DMX even attempts to use martial arts and his acting is certainly improving as is Jet Li's. Combine Romeo Must Die and Exit Wounds and this is what you get. The fights are great (Jet vs the champions of UFC), the comedy is there (Tom Arnold and Anthony Anderson) and the film is certainly entertaining so if you want a mindless film with lots of action this is it. Damn Monsters ball. I give this movie a 8!