Fireback

Fireback reigns supreme among the delirious no-budget trash cranked out by the Filipino Silver Star Film Company and is arguably the greatest moment in the "career" of company poster boy Teddy Page. There is nothing in this film that could have possibly been made any worse. From the atrocious dubbing, completely nonsensical plot, music that could normally only be heard inside the head of a paranoid schizophrenic...to the catatonic "acting", Fireback has it all and more.

Richard Harrison walks through the film looking bored and disgusted and is supported by the usual Silver Star All Stars cast, such as the ever-present Mike Monty, James Gaines and Ronnie Patterson. Bruce Baron is on hand as the main baddie...the worst was still to come for him in the shape of the Godfrey Ho Ninja films.

Browsing the IMDb, you'll come across the term "worst film EVER!!!!" used to describe basically anything from Fried Green Tomatoes to Clockwork Orange. This film is one of the very few genuinely deserving of such honor. Avoid at all costs or do anything you can to find a copy.

Back when stars like Sylvester Stallone or Arnold Schwarzenegger were blowing the entire world to smithereens in big-budget productions, Richard Harrison was trying to find his place on the other end of the spectrum. I mean, just compare the names. Schwarzenegger versus Richard Harrison, that's an uneven battle even if you've never heard of either actor. Harrison was actually quite a respected character actor back in the 60s and appeared in various prestigious Italian productions, he was even briefly considered for the lead in Sergio Leone's "A Fistful Of Dollars" (the breakthrough role for Clint Eastwood). Sadly the 80s were harsh on him and he got stuck doing Z-grade action flicks shot in the director's back yard. He was particularly popular in The Philippines, where production companies liked to use him as an off-brand Charles Bronson.

Unsurprisingly, the movie looks a lot like something Bronson could have made if he lowered his (financial) standards. Harrison is clearly a master in the ancient martial art of punching guys in the face and falling on conveniently placed beds, but the plot is so repetitive that it's hard to keep your attention. The bad guy keeps sending guys to kill him, one by one, and they all die in some location that's cheap and easy to shoot (a motel room, for example). Thankfully they get sick of that before the final act so in the end you at least get a pretty entertaining "Rambo" knock-off. The hilariously bad dubbing, awkward action scenes and desperate attempts to be typically American also certainly work in the favor of "Fireback", but I'd say 1985's "Blood Debts" is actually a better pick. It has the exact same cast, crew and plot, but has a bit more "so bad it's good"-moments. "Fireback" is a fun blast from the past though, somehow I'm glad movies like these are still around.

Watching movies on YouTube is sometimes a mixed bag as you are glad they are there however with scenes out of sequence, the language spoken changing back and forth, and in the case of Fireback ending with about four minutes left in the film, it can get frustrating. It's too bad because Fireback was fast paced, with a good story, and perhaps Richard Harrison's (Jack Kaplan) last role where he still looked like a legit leading man. There is the requisite high body count with all the Teddy Page, in his maiden directorial effort, regulars including dependable Mike Monty (Police Chief ) with snazzy bright golden hair. The dubbing is terrible but Richard does a nice job of keeping the audience on his side while he avenges his wife's Ann Milhench (Diane) who looked pretty good in a bikini. The soundtrack is fine and the cinematography is bad at time while other times is very good. The night scenes were especially well shot. This adds up to one of the better "Z" movies and a must see for action fans. If you can overlook the terrible dubbing Fireback is one of the better "Z" movies. I only wish I knew how it ended.

Pure cheese in a big chunky video box. MacGyver meets Rambo, badly dubbed and shot on a video camera. The dialogue is awful, the effects are rubbish, the camera work is brutal and the music makes you feel slightly ill. The storyline seems to be written by a couple of 10 year olds with a thirst for cheap dynamite and camouflage.

I love it, and I actually have it on video. Possibly the funniest film I have ever seen, just because it takes itself so seriously. It's actually impossible to know where exactly the film is set. We know its not Vietnam, we think it's America, but it looks like Ecuador. And just wait until you see the US Presidents office. The words "Garden Shed" spring immediately to mind.

Spark one up and watch it. You'll never laugh so hard..