Dragonstrike

Dragonstrike is a board game that was created to be a sort of introduction to the popular Dungeons & Dragons game, as it was made by the same company in order to compete with HeroQuest, a D&D-like game created by Milton Bradley which was praised for being easy to learn and play. For Dragonstrike, the company decided to release a VHS tape to explain how the game works.

The 33-minute video is basically a mini-movie, as it has the Dragon Master (who almost looks like a dismembered head as his shirt seems to blend in with the pitch black background) as he leads four unseen players in a scenario, where four heroes band together to storm the castle of an evil wizard who has plunged the realm into eternal night. As an instruction video, it does give some info, but it's safe the say the movie is done to the point where it is considered very cheesy. The acting is silly and the film uses green screen a lot to display the medieval setting of the game. Also, the video does have scenes of gore and dismemberment, and the monsters can be cheesy (from the suit actors playing orcs and death knights to the animated monstrocity known as the Man-Scorpion). At the end, the Dragonmaster does give tips for those who take his role. including playing fair and making the scenario exciting. For a cheesy film, it is pretty entertaining and shows how the game is played

These computer graphics were considered state of the art, and it is kind of cool how they're dropped in Sky Captain style behind the actors, but honestly, it looks like they were made in Microsoft Paint. And there's a floating head guy with a quasi-British accent who keeps telling people, "You're on," whenever they ask to do something. The board game itself is a riff on "Dungeon," "HeroQuest," and all the other games made in the late 80s or early 90s to introduce youngsters to fantasy roleplaying games. I personally prefer HeroQuest, but really, if you do see DragonStrike at a garage sale or anything, absolutely purchase it, just to watch the video with your gaming group or anyone else who can appreciate the humor in stupendously corny fantasy films. 10/10.

Simply embarrassing. This "film," which is an introduction into the role-playing board game of the same name, has been a source of amusement for my old high school buddies and me for years. One of us owned the game, although we never played it, but stumbled across this dreck some years back. It is so awful, so ridiculous, that it just happens to be one of the funniest 30 minutes of your life. While trying to lay out the rules and regulations of said game, Dragonstrike gives you a cheesy story-line played out by cheesier actors in front of the cheesiest excuse for blue screen this side of the helicopter crash sequence in Sudden Death. However, Dragonstrike might just be so bad, that it's good. Some notable things to look for during you're "quest":

1. Deron McBee - Perhaps best known for his days on American Gladiators as Malibu, McBee turns in another muscle-head performance here as the Warrior. The running joke between my friends is that we believe they actually blue-screened McBee's teeth in order to make them as white as they appear in the film.

2. John Boyle (I) as the Dragonmaster - Some one should have fired this guy a long time ago. Hardly believable and hilariously laughable, the Dragonmaster is the Narrator of the whole ordeal. Watch for his "floating head," actually Boyle in a black turtle-neck against a black back-drop. Try not to laugh as he asks you to "kindly cast a 'pause' spell on your VCR."

3. "Smite" - Boyle gives us the crown jewel of Dragonstrike which, I am sure, once noticed will have you rolling. Toward the end of the film, the Dragonmaster goes into an embarrassing monologue about your adventures, during which he states, "...and the evil you will smite!" Look closely on the word "smite," and you will notice that it has been horribly dubbed over from the past tense of the word, "smote," that the Dragonmaster must have gotten wrong during shooting. Apparently the budget for Dragonstrike wasn't big enough for another take in this scene.

Without doubt, the funniest...thing, your are likely to ever view in your entire life. The opening lines set the tone for how corny and cheesy the video is. They have a dorky looking dude in a black turtle neck in front of a black background that says "Feeling brave tonight..." thats supposed to be this spooky floating head. It goes through a sample adventure of this crap, yet fun RPG which is similar to a stripped down form of D&D. The animation is laughable- its half live action, half cartoon. The plot is just plain silly. Its a great beer movie to watch with some close friends. The one liners in it are so bad, you cant help but to turn them into inside jokes. Feeling brave tonight? HAhaha! Now your working together! You don't host this banquet, DEATH hosts this banquet! Just so you know, here are the names of the so called heroes: Warrior, Wizard, Thief and Elf.

If that alone doesn't make you laugh, I am not sure what will...

Plain and simple, you have to see this!! If you ever see the "Dragonstrike" board game for sale, you must buy it! This video is quite easily the funniest thing I have ever seen!! For those that don't know, "Dragonstrike" is a board game that allows you to use the most powerful processor imaginable.....Your Brain!!. You take on the persona of a Thief, Elf, Warrior, or Wizard and allow another friend, the "Dragonmaster", to lead you on an epic adventure through castles and dungeons in search of treasure and evil monsters to smite!! But seriously, the sheer cheese factor is off the charts!! Never before have you seen a man with teeth like the Warrior!! Never before have you experienced an Elf sniffing the air and licking a feather!!

And you really need to.

I'm totally serious.

Right now.