Hellgate: The House That Screamed 2

I'm leaving my desk as soon as I'm done writing this, because I have a 20 year old video camera and 90 min. to kill. What am I gonna do? I'm glad you asked... I'm gonna go into my backyard and film my dog running around in circles, because if The House that Screamed II received distribution, then I know my movie will also. Heck, I didn't know it was this easy... Since this movie got video distribution, then I expect mine to get a theatrical release. You're all invited to the premiere! I'll see you in Hollywood... I'm gonna make millions!!!!!!!!!

I was really disapointed, not in the movie i already expected that to be terrible, but that I was disapointed that no one shot me in the head or at least somehow blinded me so that i wouldnt have to see this movie. If your looking for a better movie made by the same director/main character I suggest you see the classic Feeders or even better Feeders 2. scratch that last part, instead go find Jon MicBride and stop him from making another movie ever again.

On a dark and dreary night I rented this flick along with another

"Horror Movie"-Hellgate it's unofficial brother....While Hellgate was a pointless movie with no thrills...a whole lot of bad comedy and a stunning female apparition... "House"It's big brother was a pointless movie with an interesting premise...The whole haunted house/gate to hell story intrigued me a lot...Here are the particulars:

SEX/NUDITY-Plenty of topless/shower scenes..No sex...

LANGUAGE-Some profanity...

VIOLENCE/GORE-Rubber monsters...digging out of a character's eyes ...Hellraiser like Chain rips...Talking corpses...A naked Female ghost with a smearing problem who's in desperate need of a towlette....

Still sounds like a good horror? It's a B-movie>>> Well actually it's standard is set way below a B-movie...Shot poorly on video...That whole Blair Witch way of filming is for me growing very tiresome...Poor rubbery FX...Poor performances for everybody concerned...Everyone except for Leslie Culton...She manages to do the unthinkable...She actually kept me awake during this movie....Her role was genuinely creepy and very easy on my eyes...It through this beakon of light I was able see my way out of the abyss and toward the right side of my mind...

Can I recomend this trip through madness to others? No-That is your choice and your choice alone....My final score 4-Story..10 for Leslie

This movie is endless side splitting humor and good fun, worthy of Eddie Murphy! The bimbo with the clown breasts will have you in stitches! "Come to me, cooommmee to meeee". The attack scene with that sock-puppet monster is a Polonia classic for a reason! You have to see the part where the ghost can't get into the house because they...you guessed it...THEY CLOSED THE DOOR!!! Yeah, take that ghost! But the best part of all, was Jon Mcbride's "The spirits are preventing us from entering the house!" Hysterical! I watched with the directors comments, and even the Polonia brothers themselves, those brilliant masters of comedy, couldn't contain their laughter! Wait a minute...isn't this a horror film?

This movie is pure garbage.

I am a great big b-movie horror fan, and I picked this up, going, "Maybe it'll be worth a laugh before sleep." I'm very forgiving of these b-movies. After all, if they were better at what they did, they wouldn't BE b-movies.

If I'm laughing, it's in sheer disgust.

The sound effects appear to have come from a library of tiny, tiny sound clips and are repeated constantly and beyond reason. The bad animation effects, makeup, and (literal) puppetry would be enough to condemn this on their own.

And as for cinematography--well. It looked worse than your average home movie. Furthermore, if I saw one more inverse-colored shot, or unexplainable interruption filmed in sepia tones, or grainy two-colored shots with something that may or may not be an actual shape of some sort, I would have screamed. Nothing actually frightening in the movie itself except the camera-work, that's for sure.

Anyway. The dialogue is ridiculous and juvenile, and I can't even put to words what I think of the 'plot' and the acting. I am not actually able to spoil the 'plot' because I honestly couldn't find one outside of "This is a scary house. Now have some nudie shots!" I am almost certain this whole thing is just a simpleminded, ninety-minute vehicle for fan-boy gorehound slashing and softcore porn.

I don't care how bored you are. I don't care if it is your honest mission to rent every movie at your local Blockbuster. Unless you are on a hardcore drive to waste your brain cells as fast and as inhumanely as possible, KEEP AWAY FROM THIS FILM. And based on the previews in the beginning for their other works, from Brain Damage films in general.