- Ebony Scrooge: [after seeing her tombstone with the words "She was the wind beneath our wings" on it] No! Not Bette Midler!
- Ghost of Christmas Present: Are you going to come with me, or am I going to have to get nasty with you?
- Ebony Scrooge: Don't you mean nastier?
- Ghost of Christmas Present: I do.
- Ebony Scrooge: Is this about the royalties because I thought we already settled that. If I write 65% of the songs, I get 65% of the...
- Marli Jacob: [shows her chains] I think I'm way past worried about money now.
- Ebony Scrooge: Well, then you must be dead because no one's ever past worrying about money. And what's with the getup? I thought you quit the chains when you broke up with that guy from Paramus.
- Marli Jacob: These chains are to represent my mistakes, how I messed up my life.
- Ebony Scrooge: I'll say you did. What a waste. And we were getting so big.
- Marli Jacob: But how did we use our success? What did we do to help our own? In the true business of life, we were flops.
- Ebony Scrooge: That doesn't make sense.
- Marli Jacob: I have tried, Lord knows I have tried, to reach you from... wherever it is I am, and tonight I finally did. So I am telling you, you have got to start...
- Ebony Scrooge: What gives you the right to tell me what to do?
- Marli Jacob: What gives me the right?
- [Room brightens up as she sits down]
- Marli Jacob: We were best friends. You tell me what happened to that.
- Ebony Scrooge: You screwed up, that's what happened.
- Marli Jacob: You pushed us out of the spotlight!
- Ebony Scrooge: Now it's all my fault?
- Marli Jacob: Excuse me, I'm talking! The first minute we're a trio, the next, Terri and I are your backup singers! And that hurts!
- Marli Jacob: Well, where were you Christmas Eve 1990?
- Ebony Scrooge: Where was I? I was just getting the news that you got yourself messed up and got your Porsche wrapped around a tree.
- Marli Jacob: Yeah, and I took two innocent lives with me. And what did you do?
- Ebony Scrooge: I cried all night long. I never really got over it.
- Marli Jacob: The very night I died, you abandoned Terry and started planning your own solo act.
- Ebony Scrooge: That's not true.
- Marli Jacob: And I had to watch it. My hell is watching you mess up your life.
- [She hangs her head in shame, but then looks up after a moment]
- Marli Jacob: Remember that showcase that Bob put together for us at Tramps? that night was make-or-break. We do a good show, we get signed. If we choke, we're history, remember?
- Ebony Scrooge: Yeah, we kicked butt.
- Marli Jacob: Well, tonight is just like that. You're going to be visited by three spirits. At 1:00, 2:00...
- Ebony Scrooge: Oooh, tonight's no good.
- Marli Jacob: Well, tough!
- Ebony Scrooge: I have to get some sleep. I have "A.M. America" to do in the morning.
- Marli Jacob: They're spirits. They don't care about no talk shows.
- Ebony Scrooge: Nobody cares about talk shows. But if you look at my calender
- [Marli disappears]
- Ebony Scrooge: Well, this Pharmalayin is some powerful sh...
- [she falls out in a dead sleep]
- [While watching Bob Cratchett talk on the phone to his ill son, Tim]
- Ebony Scrooge: I had no idea Tim was sick.
- Ghost of Christmas Present: You had no idea his name was Tim.