He-Man y She-Ra: Especial Navideño

It is just my opinion but I believe that He-Man and the Masters of the Universe was television's first infomercial. It was, you have to admit, a day-in day-out 22 minute commercial for crappy plastic dolls. The animation, used over and over again, makes up about three feet of film and the scripts are best suited to lining the bottom of the birdcage. So what other explanation could there be?

The show was five colors of stupidity thanks to the unremarkable minds of the once powerful company known as The Third Rei . . . er uh . . . I mean Filmmation. To us students of animation, Filmmation did for cartoons what the federal government has done for education, cutting costs until there was nothing left. The studio cut costs by recycling the same cels over and over again. The effect is that characters repeatedly move and talk in the same patterns in every episode and rarely moved or spoke outside a designated set of eight specific body movements. For a similar effect, check out CSPAN.

The show wasn't exactly Shakespeare. I imagine that the scripts weren't discussed in a board room so much as they were conceived in the elevator on the way to the second floor. The stories revolved around He-Man's attempt to thwart the latest evil plan by Skeletor, a muscle-bound mench with a skull-face who none-the-less had expressions. Skeletor's plans ranged from kidnapping to fist fights to book burning (that's not a joke) and they usually got snuffed out by some lame dialogue and a sword fight. The last two minutes of the show were toddled out with some lesson extracted from the day's events. Sometimes when the show presented little more than 22 minutes of fighting, the lesson was given to the old standby - Say No to Drugs?

Even with all this feux ingenuity flapping about at Filmmation the show never-the-less became an enormous hit, lasting three years and selling millions of crappy plastic dolls.

In 1985, in the midst of this popularity came an idea so staggeringly stupid and unbelievable it still stuns me even today - the studio turned out a Christmas special. Not just a Christmas special, but an Hour LONG Christmas special complete with dumpy cute kids, a puppy, a phallic-shaped spy cam and He-Man dressed as Santa Claus. But wait it gets worse.

The story begins when He Man's comic relief sidekick Orko accidentally gets beamed to Earth during a test of Skeletor's new spy satellite. Orko manages to get back Planet Eternia, but brings along two Earth children, Alisha and Manuel. Now, Alisha and Manuel fit right in on Eternia because neither have anything interesting to say, both perspire cuteness and we the viewers just want to strangle the sugary sweetness right outta both of them. Oh, and they brought their cute lil 'ol puppy along with them and he's godda widdiw swedder on! Awwwww, *hack* *cough* *gag*

It was probably not by accident that the two are brought to the planet Eternia just at the same time that Earth is gearing up for the commerce assault known as Christmas time. People of Eternia have no concept of Christmas and why should they even worry about it, they don't even have a mall?

Now, as goofball as this may sound, Horak and Skeletor don't like this Christmastime nonsense and so Hordak orders Skeletor to kidnap the kids so he can do away with them. Alisha and Manuel are so nauseating that my heart welled up a wan hope that Horak would succeed (Hey! Leave me to dream). If he had then I would have been spared a this jaw dropping exchange:

Manuel: `Christmas is lots of fun. We get presents and we do a lot of fun things.'

Skeletor: `You mean you get in FIGHTS!'

Alisha: `No we do FUN things.'

Skeletor: `But fights are FUN.'

Pick your jaw up, you're going to ruin the carpet.

Into this chaos comes a whole batch of new characters, my favorite of which are the Monstroids, knee-high little cyber-cuties that look like mech-rejects from Rainbow Bright. They have blue faces and they fight pretty well (as well as they can with only five cels of animation) and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that Filmmation was using them to parade their new toy line.

Skeletor's heart (pause) melts just a bit when he begins to carry that puppy and and dog licks his face. From this bit of germ-spreading exchange, he learns the true meaning of Christmas so much so that he wants to send the kids back home instead of sending them to Hoard Prime. Hordak attempts to grab the kids and pull them onto his spaceship but Skeletor zaps the ship with his staff (the one in his hand) and sends the ship hurtling into the cosmos. The kids go home with all kinds of new toys from Eternia and promply send their parents into a catatonic shock. I know the feeling, I'm still feeling the effects myself.

Every christmas I see the classic xmas films.This year I wanted to remember this one.Its not as good as the secret of the sword but it's got funny characters and a good script to follow.Give it a chance with your kids.

Two Children become lost when they go to find their family's Christmas tree, befriended by Orko they set about to bring the goodwill of Christmas to Eternia.

In 1985, in the hight of this popularity came this hour shy Christmas special. Filmmation's offering works just like the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe and its spin-off She-Ra episodes. Even though a commercial for the twist waist & power punch action toys it also had some great stories and morals to share, this is more of the same. Naturally there's the recycling of the same cells but there's plenty of new footage including cute children, a puppy and Adam dressed as Santa Claus.

When Alisha and Manuel visit Eternia their goodwill attracts the unwelcome attention of Horde Prime and Skeletor. The tale switches between planets and this special has a mix of fantasy elements synonymous with both shows - fairies, soldiers, monsters and (also thrown in are Transformer-like) robots.

Amongst the action set-ups there's some nice writing from Don Heckman and Bob Forward with plenty of sugary cuteness and animated visual treats. Look for Orko's nod to Ghostbusters. For fan's it bridges Earth to Queen Marlina, there's the on screen mix of Eterniain and Etheria characters and Skeletor's transition from super villain to reluctant nice guy. After Hordak orders Skeletor to kidnap the kids there's a great scene where they explain Christmas to Skeletor:

Skeletor: Tell me more about this "Christmas."

Miguel: Well, it's a wonderful time of the year. Everyone has lots of fun.

Skeletor: You mean they get in fights?

Miguel: No, no - they have fun!

Skeletor: Fights are fun. I like fights!

Miguel: And you give each other presents.

Skeletor: And when you open them, they explode, right?

Miguel: No! They're nice gifts.

Skeletor: Nice? Doesn't sound like much fun to me!

Priceless. Today, 30 years later directors Bill Reed and Ernie Schmidt offering may have trouble keeping up with the pace and style of contemporary cartoons but it's a heart warming story, fitting for the seasonal period, complete with some catchy songs and all the regular character favourites (voices from legend Alan Oppenheimer, John Erwin and Linda Gary to name a few).

While possibly not the best Christmas cartoon, that prize is up for debate, it's still has great nostalgic value and is great viewing for children.

Saw this with my kiddos after we had watched the Netflix remake, so the most enjoyable part was trying to identify the old characters with them. The plot is truly incomprehensible, and, despite the length (almost 45 minutes!) it questions the notion of a Christmas special. Despite the length (almost 45 minutes!), the only holiday elements are a trip to earth, which is covered in snow, and a he-man Santa Claus. It's mostly just an excuse for a rare He-Man/She-Ra crossover. Because of course we need more of those! By far the coolest thing about the story is how Skeletor gets the holiday spirit, saving two kids and their dog from the grinch-like Horde Prime.

Neither a sophisticated or carefully developped script, but an amusing and cute larger episode celebrating christmas. It is one of the few opportunities to see He-Man and She-Ra in action together, what is also nice. There is also time enough to know several creatures from both Eternia and Etheria. While our beloved cartoon is characterized by a strict manichaeism, in this christmas special, as is usual in christmas specials, christmas spirit may soften even the hardest hearts. Although never abandoning manichaeism, for sure... Merry Christmas!