GLOW: Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling

Matt Cimber has created the most amazing films like Hundra, Yellow Hair, The Candy Tangerine Man, and GLOW over the five decades; he has inspired many artists and filmmakers like Tarantino. He is currently collaborating with his favorite Queen of Action, Laurene Landon for FLOW, the new GLOW, Produce Katherine, and now Snoop Dog is starring in the remake of The Candy Tangerine Man currently in development. I'm excited to see his new films and the new FLOW!

If you watched G.L.O.W. for any reason, you probably turned in regularly for one of three things: to see woman wrestling and killing each other, to see the female wrestlers do some of the funniest comedy sketches or there was nothing else on. The wrestling was obviously choreographed to keep them from really killing each other, after all, many of them were actually actresses or porn stars trying to get legitimate work. None of them had any real wrestling experience except for maybe a week to a months worth of orientation to avoid bruises and broken bones. Some of the scenes in the ring were obviously fake. The Princess Of Darkness could "hypnotize" her opponents by flicking on and off a flashlight built inside a bone. Dementia (actress Nancy Daley) was often brought out in a cage wearing a Lizzie Borden dress and hockey mask. Tammy Jones once won a fight in the last minute after being consistently pummeled by Matilda The Hun (actress Dee Booher, now Queen Kong), and two guys once alledgedly "snuck" through security, into the locker rooms, passed themselves off as lady wrestlers and tried to rape Hollywood and Vine in the ring. The comedy though was a good part of the appeal as Mountain Fiji often dreamed of being Mae West, Russian Colonel Ninotchka (actually American actress Lori Weathers) was often sending spy reports to Mother Russia and Spanish Red played a waitress in several diner sketches. The videos and the short-lived magazine series are collectors items now that this female federation has dissolved, but many of them have become models and actresses in shows like Married With Children.

GLOW (Gourgous Ladies of Wrestling) was one of the most popular professional wrestling television shows ever to air. Created by David McClane, this syndicated weekly show was, to my knowledge the only professional wrestling show that actually aired re-runs and ran seasonally. Often imitated but never duplicated this show ran a little over 5 years. It was broadcast "direct from the Riviera Hotel and Casino in the entertainment capital of the world Las Vegas Nevada" which gave the show a feel as if it were taped in someone's basement. The characters were totally over the top, with each GLOW girl having her very own "rap" style entrance theme song (possibly inspired by the Chicago Bears and their "Super Bowl Shuffle" of the time period). The theatrics and comedic aspects of this show far surpassed any wrestling "talent" (or general lack thereof) of its performers. The ropes were a bright pink and the characters had various "gimmicks". There was: Colonel Ninotchka, A Russian KGB agent; Americana, the all-American beauty; Tina Ferrari, Ashley Cartier and in later seasons Roxy Astor and Tiffany Mellon portrayed the "Park Avenue Knockouts"; the Heavy Metal Sisters Spike and Chainsaw brought working chainsaws and a blow torch to the ring; the Terrorist Palestina performed terrorist ceremonies and threw sand in her opponents eyes; the Housewives Phyliss and Arlene came to the ring with mop and bucket en tow and would use various household items on their opponents; the Princess of Darkness and in later seasons Big Bad Mamma would cast spells on their opponents using their "mojo bone" and "voodoo dust" respectively; Dementia would come to the ring in a cage wearing a hockey mask and swinging an Axe; and the Cheerleaders Susie Spirit, Debbie Debutante and in later seasons Cheyenne Cher and Vicky Victory would do amazing acrobatics in the ring. To top it all off Jackie Stallone (yes Sly's mother) was the manager of the "Good Girls" while the "Bad Girls" were managed by the notorious Aunt Kitty. After the first couple of seasons, there was some sort of falling out between McClane and the "Network" and McClane would leave GLOW to create his own series POWW (the Powerful Women of Wrestling) which focused more on the actual wrestling talent then the theatrics, music videos and comedy routines. Years later, McClane would try to revive this organization with the dismal WOW (Women of Wrestling) series which lasted only one season. When McClane left GLOW he took most of the "talent" roster with him but a new breed of GLOW girls would emerge and the show would continue for several more seasons before eventually getting canceled. Any true wrestling fan should view footage of this show if not just for the historical value then most definitely for the sheer comedic and political incorrectness of it. A new version of GLOW is rumored to be on the horizon headed up by Ursula Hayden who portrayed Babe the Farmer's Daughter in the original series and featuring Melody Trouble Vixen (MTV) from the original series as the manager of the "Bad Girls".

G.L.O.W. was a highly popular all female wrestling program that aired in 1986-1990 and continued in Las Vegas,though not on television till present day.This show became an instant pop culture success due to over the top characterizations played to the hilt by dozens of mostly beautiful model type women.Plus charming and often funny skits were also included in each show.But what really made G.L.O.W. stand out was an odd feature which surprisingly worked and was a lot of fun.Each wrestler preformed a small rap which was featured before each of their respective matches which described who they were and what they were about.There was a good side managed by Sylvester Stallone's mother called the Stallone Sweethearts and a bad side called Kitty's Killers. The good side was full of women that little girls dream of being when they grow older like (my personal favorites)Debbie Debutuante and Susie Spirit the Cheerleaders(who as far as I know never lost)Tara and Scarlett the Southern Belles(who as far as I know never won,by pin fall anyway)and rich L.A.jet setters Tina Ferrari(W.W.E's Ivory)and Ashley Cartier. The bad side was full of women that went bad and became what girls become if they don't watch their step.Like the the very popular thieving street punks Hollywood(who has her own Erotic wrestling video business now)and Vine,the risqué garbed gang members the Soul Patrol,and the thoroughly psychotic,quasi murderous Heavy Metal sisters.These two big unforgettable nut jobs brought real working chainsaws and blow torches in the ring and used them to burn their opponents and cut up their belongings!For some reason the bad girl's seem to have more of the actual big wrestler types who either almost always won like the Russian Col.Ninotchka or the big marine Corp.Kelly or were so brutal the always got disqualified like the aforementioned Heavy Metal sisters.However the good girls got along just fine.There were those like Americana,Susie Spirit and Tina Ferrarri who pretty much always won,the tough cowgirl Dallas who routinely gave even the toughest opponents horrid,merciless beatings, and in the last 2 seasons there was Justice.She was a 6'2 New York cop who crushed her opponents. G.L.O.W. is largely enjoyable,lovable,and entertaining and anyone will have a great time watching.If you want to get the ultimate G.L.O.W experience type in "Manzerman glow"in your search engine.On his website he sells GLOW tapes cheap,the service is incredible,and there's about 20 matches on each of his tapes!He got a hold of all 500 matches in all four seasons!

Since GLOW came into being in the mid-eighties, it has attracted a large amount of ridicule. It is often portrayed as sexist and cheesy, with humor that misses the mark badly.

Is this fair criticism? To some extent, yes. Certainly some of the wrestling was not of a high standard, and the skits and comedy were usually unfunny.

But if you search out matches involving some of the better GLOW girls, such as Attache, Spanish Red or Tina Ferrari, then you will be rewarded with excellent wrestling matches, played by women who are really convincing in their roles. Attache in particular, is an absolute star, a mixture of toughness, charisma and huge appeal.

In summary, GLOW is something of a guilty pleasure, the kind of show you don't want to admit to liking, but secretly do!