La casa de los 1000 cuerpos

Four friends searching for offbeat tourist attractions are taken prisoner and tortured by a sadistic family of killers. Reasonably well put-together entry into the torture porn subgenre of horror. There's really not much story here beyond getting these people to where they can be tortured and killed by these freaks. There's also the disturbing element of narrative sympathy with the killers, not the victims. This is not surprising given that Rob Zombie belongs to that breed of "heavy metal horror fan" that equates real-life killers like Charles Manson with fictional movie monsters. It would be more disconcerting if one wasn't convinced these posers simply get enjoyment out of being shocking and offensive. Anyway, it's not a terrible movie of its type. I've certainly seen far worse and far more disgusting.

I love that line! I remember hearing that line in a cool trailer I saw while watching "Urban Legend 2". Obviously, this was a way better movie!!! Besides "Scream," and "Funny Games," this is the best horror film in the past 15 years!!! We wanted blood, and we got it!!! Whoa, that would have been another great line in this "uber celebration of depravity" as those lame Universal execs so succinctly called it. This flick was definitely worth the wait!!!

First off, the directing: Rob Zombie gave this film a unique visual style I had never seen in a film before. It was well made and very well edited. I loved the split-screens, filters, stock footage, use of color, and that infamous slow motion shot (I loved that scene!). Although he borrowed a little from "Natural Born Killers," "Texas Chainsaw Massacre," and "Last House on the Left," what great horror film doesn't nowadays? Seriously!! So Mr. Zombie brought something new to the table, and will hopefully make a great contribution to horror (he has already in my opinion).

Secondly, the acting: Sid Haig and Bill Moseley totally stole the show!! They made horrifying, creepy, and relentless screen sickos, and gave me hope for the screen villain again (as opposed to lame efforts by thugs in cheap masks). Mrs. Zombie, or Sheri Moon, was totally insane as well as hot! Also, genre veterans Karen Black, Micheal J. Pollard, and Irwin Keyes brought creepiness to their insane roles! Tom Towles was also good in a good guy role! The late Dennis Fimple was hilarious as Grandpa Hugo! Newcomers Matthew McGrory and Robert Mukes were disturbing in their roles as Tiny and Rufus. As for the "victims," Chris Hardwick's Jerry was the only one I reasonably liked. The other three made lame efforts at acting, and need lessons from Marilyn Burns, and the cast of "The Hills Have Eyes"!! So it was hard to root for them, which was another twisted feat that Zombie accomplished. I actually rooted for the villains!!!!

Thirdly, the music: I loved the music!! It fit well with the atmosphere of the film! I own the soundtrack, and I loved it! My favorite song was the title theme, of course! I was expecting songs from Black Sabbath, The Stooges, Sex Pistols, Alice Cooper, Deep Purple, King Crimson, Blue Oyster Cult, and other "creepy" bands, but oh well. I was satisfied. I also loved the film's score.

Lastly, the atmosphere at the theater I was at: It was totally insane!!! People were screaming, jumping, laughing, walking out, and commenting loudly on how awesome it was!!! I was surprised there was such a packed audience, and it was barnone the best theater-going experience I had ever had!!!

Overall, this film is a creepy, intense, amazing, disturbing, and darkly funny attack on the senses!!! I definitely can't wait to see it again in the theater and to buy the DVD! Finally, a real horror movie with balls the size of Canada has hit the masses!!! This gives me great hope for the new wave of horror: the 70's throwback horror film!! There's plenty this year with "Irreversible," "Cabin Fever," "Wrong Turn," "Jeepers Creepers 2," "Highwayman," and the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake!!! Out of Five Stars: FIVE STARS!!!!! See this movie!! All Rob Zombie fans, metal music fans, horror fans, or people who want to see a hardcore horror film should go out and see this movie!! If you like it, you're awesome!! If you don't, I guess you're not ready for hardcore horror.

This movie is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. If you've seen that, you've seen this. I don't need to explain the plot; that's all you need to know. It's TTCM with bizarre attempts at stylization. The victims are characterless twats, except for Rainn Wilson, who plays a lovable nerd. Other than him, the real stars are the family and Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding, but the two psycho women are both horribly annoying. It does break away from the basic formula for the third act of the movie, but I can't say it was for the movies benefit.

The stylization is the worst part of it; randomly cutting to 16mm film clips, random colored lighting that change in between shots, and a bunch of flashing quick cuts. If your over the age of 16, and/or are a seasoned horror fan, this movie is much more likely to give you a headache rather than scare you.

Pros- Sid Haig, nostalgic premise, and some decent gore

Cons- awful attempts at stylization, annoying characters, a twist that makes the movie worse.

If you're gonna watch it; you're gonna watch it. But don't expect anything too much.

Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig) is a foul-mouthed clown owner of the "Museum of Monsters and Madmen" and "Fried Chicken and Gasoline". On October 30, 1977, Spaulding shoots a bunch of holdup guys. Jerry Goldsmith (Chris Hardwick), Bill Hudley (Rainn Wilson), Mary Knowles (Jennifer Jostyn), and Denise Willis (Erin Daniels) are traveling the country investigating weirdness. Spaulding shows the group his roadside show and tells them about Dr. Satan. They go in search of the hanging tree where they hanged Dr. Satan. They pick up hitchhiker Baby (Sheri Moon Zombie). Their tires get popped and they end up with Baby's family.

I like directer Rob Zombie's weird outsider style. It's over-stylized Grindhouse. I just think that writer Rob Zombie needs help pulling all the craziness together into a coherent compelling plot. He needs to figure out rooting interest, and how to create tension. This is a bit of a mess but it's a fascinating mess.

This is the first movie rob zombie ever made. While he would go on to make better movies, This was a great horror movie. Captain Spaulding is easily the most terrifying part of this movie. I kind of wished they had focused on him, and his museum of monsters and mad men more than on the fireflies.