El beso del escorpión

So, Woody Allen is now old and it is hard to believe that a rich and attractive girl played by Charlize Theron could be attracted to him... If you were truly thinking about that while watching The Curse of the Jade Scorpion, then you should reconsider the way you watch a movie. Sure, Allen is now really old, but who can play his role as well as he does. He sometimes casts other actors in that role, such as John Cusack in Bullet Over Broadway, but even though they do the job very well, they can't be better than the old man with the big glasses himself. The Curse of the Jade Scorpion is not a serious Woody Allen movie. It is not one of his most important movies that is clear. But its aim is to entertain and entertain it does. Jade Scorpion shares a lot with Woody's recent light comedies such as Small Time Crooks and Manathan Murder Mystery. And like these two, it is certainly not a new Annie Hall. But it does not try to. It is just a lot of fun to watch. The script is funny, the acting is charming, the plot is just hilarious, and on the whole, this movie puts a smile on your face from the beginning to the end. The Curse of the Jade Scorpion is another very nostalgic movie, like Radio Days, Sweet and Lowdown, Everyone Says I Love You and Bullets Over Broadway, but once again, Allen makes us forget for 103 minutes that he is basically doing nothing he hasn't done before. But the man once again shows his gift to entertain. And what more can you ask from an aging genius?

77%

It was a take on a bunch of film noirs from the 1940's (one that most likely influenced this one was The Big Sleep). The rest of the leading cast was Dan Aykroyd, the manager of an insurance firm in which Allen works, and Helen Hunt, Aykroyd's secretary who always has time to insult Allen (if you know anything about old films, you'll probably realize just how close these two are, and I don't mean just in the office).

The film follows this insurance firm as they all try to search for a bunch of lost jewels, not realizing that someone in the office is borderline guilty. The group goes to a nightclub to celebrate Wallace Shawn's 50th birthday, and the entertainment is a "magician" who ends up putting both Allen and Hunt under hypnosis and convinces them to do his will and also that they're in love with each other, with only the utterance of two words: "Madagascar" and "Constantinople" (gee, it'd be a shame if these two words were uttered later in the movie to advance the plot).

Comedy set in 1940 about an insurance investigator (Woody Allen) locking horns with an efficiency expert (Helen Hunt) while a string of suspicious jewel robberies are going on. Only average Allen comedy...but that's still 70% better than the typical Hollywood film.

It's fairly well-acted...Allen is, frankly, way too old for this (he's 65 and he's getting women in their 20s and 30s??? PLEASE!) but he gives a good performance; Hunt is simply wonderful...she looks great in the 40s outfits and her verbal sparring with Allen was hilarious; Charlize Theron looks fantastic but is shamefully wasted and (in a huge surprise) Elizabeth Berkeley actually gives a halfway decent performance!

The script is OK if a tad unbelievable. And the movie looks fantastic...the costumes and the sets really evoke the 1940s. So, it's OK, but no great shakes.

I would recommend this movie to anyone who enjoys Woody Allen movies. I've always enjoyed the movies he's starred in, the roles he's played, and his self-deprecating yet undaunted sense of humor, and this movie proved true to all of this!

Besides the comedy I expected in a Woody Allen movie, I found suspense, an excellent plot, and even some heart-warming romance.

Helen Hunt plays one of his character's antagonists, as well as his love interest, forming a three-dimensional love triangle or pyramid, with Dan Aykroyd's character, their characters' boss, as the third member/cornerstone.

Dan Aykroyd and Helen Hunt remained true to their forms in this movie, as the professional and unique actors they are, so if you like any or all three of these stars, you should enjoy "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion"!

Most people seem to consider "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" a failure, either because of casting or the joke-a-minute script. But I think they're wrong about that. It's just that it was made about sixty years too late. It's really an homage to the sort of comedy/mysteries that were produced in the early forties -- the same time period in which the movie is set. Seems to me most people didn't get that. Maybe people these days don't watch enough old movies.

Everyone was correct, of course, when they said Woody Allen was miscast (and since Woody Allen did the casting, he deserves the blame). But it's not that great a sin. Basically, this is a movie that should have been a vehicle for Bob Hope, but since Bob Hope wasn't exactly available in the year 2001, someone had to stand in for him. I daresay there isn't an actor in Hollywood these days who can do a good Bob Hope, and since there isn't, I have to say Woody Allen isn't such a bad substitute.

Actually, I remember reading somewhere that Bob Hope was a major inspiration for the young Woody Allen, and he was stung in the late sixties when Hope told a few mean-spirited jokes about him. Maybe, all these years later, Woody Allen decided that all was forgiven.

Anyway, don't let yourself be bothered by the fact that the lead actor is about 30 years too old for the part. Also, try to forget that nasty business with Soon-Yi. Just relax and let yourself laugh at the one-liners. Better yet, try and imagine that the lines are being delivered by someone with a ski-jump nose. You may see this movie for what it is -- a screamingly funny comedy, and the best movie Bob Hope never made.

You know, someday Hollywood might find another actor who can play a role the way Bob Hope did, back in his heyday. And when that happens, this movie would be an excellent candidate for a remake.