Lady, Stay Dead

"Lady Stay Dead" may be the most inept horror movie I've ever seen.

It's the kind of movie where you stop paying attention to whatever's supposed to be happening on screen and start tallying off every mistake the director made.

Like when the lady discovers her neighbour's body hanging in his shed - why did the killer move it to such a prominent position? Could it be that the plot wasn't going to continue moving unless she realised he'd been killed?

Or what about the scene where the killer and the lady are playing tug of war with a garden tool through a hole in the front door? Cuts from the killer to the lady show they are obviously holding opposite ends of something completely different. The director doesn't even bother to make this appear convincing.

The killer, bearded and bespectacled, is the least threatening example of such a man I've ever seen in a movie. He's more like Forrest Gump than Jack the Ripper; indeed, in a scene where he is supposed to be strangling somebody, you can clearly see he only has the gentlest possible grip around her neck.

The police that arrive to help her are also among the most useless I've ever seen in a film. At one point a motorcycle mounted policeman rides his bike straight at the killer with no regard to his own safety. Of course he goes flying, but on second thought this may have been the safest option for him: these police are so pathetic with guns I was waiting for the moment when one missed so badly they shot themselves in the face instead. They arrive in pairs with weaponry, and are almost immediately in the same position as the poor young girl, at the killer's total mercy, and you're thinking: don't they have training or something for situations like these? How can a killer this moronic immediately bring two policemen to their knees?

Every scene of violence is so badly done you have to guess at what you're supposed to be seeing. There's a rape scene, for example, that looks more like the perpetrator is trying to push a couch into place. He drowns the victim, but at one point she obviously moves inside the bag she's been placed inside. Is this why the movie is called "Lady Stay Dead"? Well, no matter, she does "stay dead". The movie forgets about the fact that she is apparently still alive and does nothing with it; she's a corpse in all future scenes.

It defies belief that this was made by the same guy who did "Night of Fear" and, especially "Inn of the Damned". It also defies belief that it was made by someone who had ever directed a movie before.

This semi-obscure Aussie psycho thriller would probably be better known if it hadn't been overlooked by the Director of Public Prosecutions when compiling the UK Section 1 list of 'video nasties; it could easily have bumped the DPP39 up to a round 40, due to a harrowing scene in which the film's antagonist, gardener Gordon (Chard Hayward), rapes and kills pop star Marie (Deborah Coulls). No doubt Marie would have thought twice about upsetting Gordon if she had known how unbalanced he was: obsessed with his pretty boss, Gordon's hobbies include rolling around on his bed with a life size doll of the songstress. and spying on her at the beach whilst she exercises.

After doing away with Marie, Gordon proceeds to bump off her elderly neighbour Billy (who catches the gardener trying to dispose of the singer's body), and then terrorises Marie's sister Jenny (Louise Howitt), who had arranged to house-sit while Marie was on a location shoot. However, Jenny proves much tougher to kill, the woman fighting back a la Kevin McCallister.

Directed by Terry Bourke, the man responsible for kicking off the '70s Ozploitation craze with Night of Fear (1973), Lady Stay Dead is a tense, well acted slice of sleazy horror, with a suitably demented psycho (prior to killing, Gordon had been content with seducing and abusing local bored housewives), a likeable protagonist in Jenny (who is nothing like her obnoxious sibling), plenty of mean-spirited violence (a man is burnt alive and even a dog is killed), and a well-handled, action-packed finale, as brave security officer Clyde Collings (Roger Ward, who played Fifi in Mad Max) comes to Jenny's aid.

The final act does stretch plausibility just a tad, Collings stupidly (and fatally) turning his back on Gordon after a fight in a swimming pool, and the gardener being catapulted through a car wind-screen when hit by a motorcyclist, but on the whole this is a very effective chiller that might be held in higher regard by horror fans had it benefited from the same notoriety as numerous far less worthy titles.

The first 30 minutes are like "Oh God! This sucks" but after the sister gets to the house on the movie it gets pretty cool. Even though you know who the killer is & don't think he's scary, the music & direction make it seem like a slasher or gore movie. Its not real bloody or scary but I liked it.

Greetings And Salutations, and welcome to my review of Lady Stay Dead. Before we get into it, here are my ratings:

Story - 1.25 Direction - 1.00 Pace - 1.25 Acting - 1.00 Enjoyment - 1.25

TOTAL - 5.75 out of 10

Tell me truthfully, when you read the title, how many of you are thinking, A Weekend At Bernie's? I know I was. I expected a corpse that wouldn't stay dead. But the name is misleading. The lady he kills stays dead, and the other he's chasing, he doesn't want to hurt - well, not just yet.

What the writer and director of this Dark Thriller give us is the story of an accidental killer. Who regretfully slaughters the object of his lustfulness. The subsequent series of unfortunate events leads him on a killing spree. What makes this such a captivating film is the main character. Gordon Mason is written possessing a child-like innocence. That leads him into some slightly off-kilter conversations and beliefs. His sexual preferences verge on the rough and voyeuristic, and he believes everybody feels the same way. He cannot accept Marie's hate and disdain after forcing himself on her. Mason believes they both had a great time. And it's this behaviour that adds the chills that run down your spine. I wish he had written the remaining personalities as deliciously, but they are your stereotypical cop and damsel in distress.

Luckily, Terry Bourke is as good behind the camera as he is at pushing a pen. Though the movie is shot in an average manner and the pace is a steady trot, it works with the story. My attention stayed on the screen and kept my interest. It helped that he kept everything illuminated, so you didn't miss anything.

The cast, on the whole, is okay, though I was happy to see the back of Marie. Deborah Coulls was too wooden and shouty. I found it hard to understand that Mason had a crush on her as she treated him like dirt. But, hey, that's why it's called fantasy isn't it(?) However, Chard Hayward keeps your attention as he remains calm and constantly creepy throughout as Mason.

I would prescribe Lady Stay Dead to lovers of the slasher genre, especially on a dark night, in front of a fire, and next to your beloved. Gordon Mason may chill your soul a little. Worth one watch.

Please feel free to visit my Killer Thriller Chillers list to see where I ranked Lady Stay Dead.

Take Care & Stay Well.

They just don't make em like this anymore- Like I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE, HOUSE BY THE LAKE, MANIAC, THE FAN (81) etc this film delves right into a psychopaths fantasies and allows the actor to fully rip roar and indulge in the character without restraint. The plot pretty much revolves around a rich mean spirited high class diva who talks to everyone like scum, including her mentally deficit gardener who just happens to also be a obsessed psychopath who , when not being berated by her, spends his time jerking off in the sand thinking of tortured women and making love to a mannequin dressed like her as her music plays in the background. Eventually he acts upon his sick delusions and when her boyfriend is forced to leave their villa for a weekend the gardener enters her house then rapes and kills her. The rape scene and dialogue are pretty disturbing.(ie " never mind those limp yuppie guys- if you ever want it rough and hard, ask me and I'll give it to you whenever you want..") Then her concerned sister comes to the house to see how she is, unaware of the rape-happy madman still hiding there, What follows is a intriguing cat and mouse. The violence in this film is great and I did not find it boring at all. This is easily one of the best of the Australian horror/exploitation that came out that era. Unfairly ignored and loathed it stands up today as a gross horrifying and sometimes unintentionally funny home invasion film thats as good as anything else. track this down. If you like bleak films and twisted psychos you'll get a great fix from this.