- Geranium: Yawn. I'm tired of being rich. I want to be poor: dance with paupers, and have sex in a car. Oh, I do so want to be poor.
- Geranium's Servant: You want to be poor? Are you half crazy? I work eighteen hours a day, for a mere shilling a week; then I return to a freezing room the size of a closet! Oh, I would pack myself in excrement if it meant just staying one degree warmer.
- Geranium: I do so want to be poor... except for all those parts.
- TV Anchor: An amazing discovery today: A drawing of a naked lady found at the bottom of the ocean. Sources close to the drawing say, "Not only is she nekkid, but she ain't wearing any clothes, too."
- Old Geranium: [Sitting on a chair] They called it the ship of dreams and it was...
- [falls asleep and falls off chair]
- Piano Man: [after ship has sank, he's floating in the ocean] Hey! This isn't so bad.
- [piano falls on top of him]
- Jake: I'M THE KING OF THE GLOBE! WOO-HOO!
- Moderator: Hello. That'll be about it. Time's Up. Next.
- Dentist: I'M A DENTIST! YAY!
- Moderator: Next.
- 'Really A Woman' Guy: I'M REALLY A WOMAN! WEEEEEE!
- Moderator: Next, please.
- Elbow-Cleaning Man: I'M CLEANING MY ELBOW!
- Guy Who's Ulcer Free: I'M ULCER FREE!
- Bed-Wetting Man: I'M A BED-WETTER! No that's not cool.
- Elvis: Hail to the king, baby. Say, read it. Get my cape.
- The Interviewer: Tell us your story, old one.
- Old Geranium: Well, ah... I, uh...
- The Interviewer: Give us but a rare glimpse behind the withered curtains of your mind.
- Old Geranium: All right. It was a...
- The Interviewer: Grace us with the marvelous tale of aged wisdom that is locked within the deep, withered pit of the crusty remnants of your aged, ragged brain.
- Old Geranium: Fine. It was a...
- The Interviewer: Grace us with the marvelous tale of withered, decrepit wisdom; spew forth from your lined, grey, wrinkled piehole the secrets locked deep within the past.
- Jake: When we hit the water, swim for the surface and breathe above the water! Breathe the air, not the water! Don't breath the air! Or any mixture of air and water you know like...
- [speech bubbles as the ship sinks]