Forgive and Forget

I'd like to defend this as a wonderful film, one of the best I've seen in 5 years or so. Other reviewers obviously have a different take on the film and I can respect those views but I'd suggest a different interpretation from the one they present:

The story revolves around David, a handsome and macho construction foreman who is in love (secretly) with his childhood best friend Theo. David has acclimated to casual sex on the side as long as his primary emotional bond with Theo is intact. When Theo becomes seriously involved with a woman David is in a crisis.

David O'Neil is a man who has reached the age of 23 without having had an adolescence. Like a lot of us gays he has hidden his true feelings until well past the era when there's something of a 'safety net' around him in the form of friends and older siblings who help most teens navigate treacherous the waters of love and the pain of rejection. David has the usual flaw which comes with growing up gay in a homophobic society. He's been prevented from gaining emotional maturity by expressing love for the person he loves when he's 14 or 16 years old. So he's making the sort of blunders which most people make when they are 16 years old, though unfortunately with adult consequences.

I think Aisling Walsh (director) and Mark Burt (writer) are highly sympathetic with David's plight and they understand him quite well. The film is unflinching in its treatment of its subject and certainly does not end with a rosy soft focus closure. We last see David bloody and rejected by most everyone, and yet smiling and saying, "This has been the best day of my life." That is the central theme of the film.

Steve John Shepherd gives a riveting wonderful performance as David. John Simm (as Theo) is one of the most effortlessly naturalistic actors I've seen, comparable to Russel Crowe in his early-90s Australian films. Acting does not get much better than this.

-Steve Robertson

Don't expect to feel comfortable or be warmed by a Hollywood ending.

Do expect a well-acted fable about the dangers of falling in love with your best friend and how pursuing that love and destroy your friendship. 'How do you tell someone you love them?' 'Just tell them and hope they believe you.' The added closet homosexual existence of one of the friends, and relationship with his family, makes matters more complex.

You are pretty much left to make your own conclusions from the ending. I will be watching this movie again.

Also there are some novel south of the Thames (London) locations.

Note: contains spoiler.... 'Forgive and Forget' is on balance, more forgettable than forgivable. Made for Scottish Television (and a boring, Scot version of a BBC drama) by a married female director from a screenplay by a hetero male film student and starring a hetero actor (get a clue here!), the story goes on interminably about how a working class Brit is hopelessly in the closet and jealous of his best mate's live-in girlfriend, whom he's out to undercut by exploiting her paranoia and dislike of his male camaraderie with her boyfriend. It's the British version of a Jerry Springer mentality in the working class subculture which leads, inexorably, to a disastrous coming out on a true-confessions-type TV show called (would you believe) 'Forgive and Forget.' What's sad is that our hero is so naive (and hopelessly inarticulate) that he thinks coming out to his romantic interest on TV will somehow produce a happy ending. No way, Jose. Hetero Sex Object wields a lead pipe and almost kills the guy before girlfriend, appearing miraculously just in time to stop him from murder, leads hetero heartthrob off stage (and, we imagine, to a 'happily ever after'). By this point, since she's already dumped him, she's almost a deus ex machina, and her appearance has no motivation except to save male heterosexuality from life imprisonment (where, no doubt, he would be forced to become some macho guy's 'sex object'). Sorry, but I really didn't like the 'film' (shot on video, no less), including the videography, which was brightly lit and boringly, competently uninteresting. Next time, I'll think twice about believing the hype (here's a clue: the video retailer--whose blurb rating the film I didn't question--is also the film's distributor) and give a movie the old eyeball before showing it to my friends. If you want a far better, and yet more gritty story of coming out in a British working class context, try 'Beautiful Thing'.

Neither pro nor anti gay, this powerful drama is set to make us think. A young man is secretly gay, he has loved his childhood 'mate' all his life but can never reveal his true feelings to anyone. His father is a bigot and the rest of his family are oblivious to his needs. His friend is equally unaware of the intensity of his feelings but eventually the truth is revealed under dramatic circumstances. Secret passions, deceitful relationships, bigotry and social pressures to conform, the paradox between between platonic love and sexual need; these are just some of the issues very skillfully handled in this unforgettable drama. The ending may frustrate or even disturb you - but Forgive and Forget will certainly leave you with the feeling that such sentiments are too seldom practiced in our modern selfish culture. Definitely worth seeing.

I gave this movie an "8" when I voted for it. It has a tight script and it's extremely well-acted, especially by the closeted gay actor. The ending was thoroughly stupid. It is still worth watching, but be prepared for an ending that is more 1963 than 2003.