El regreso del cocodrilo

Fans of creature feature films have to endure a lot of awful movies lately. Blood Surf shamelessly joins the list of stupid, redundant pulp-horror titles about ridiculously big animals that want to turn the food chain upside down. Crocodiles are particularly successful as we already had to struggle our way through the abysmal 'Crocodile' (directed by a disappointing Tobe Hooper) and 'Lake Placid'. Blood Surf is every bit as bad as these other films and – on top of that – it likes to exaggerate tremendously. The saltwater-crocodile supposedly is 90 years old, over 30 ft long (!) and it kills for fun! During the film, he amuses himself by devouring a bunch of utterly stupid surfer-dudes & dudettes who came to seek new thrills by surfing in a shark-congested area. The only beautiful aspect about this film is the tropical location. Even though it's a completely inappropriate setting for a film like this, the lagoons and nature looks marvelous. Every other aspect is simply disastrous. There's a quite a bit of gore but it all looks fake and laughable. The dialogues are downright painful to listen to! You won't believe some of the lines these actors have to say! I know surfers are supposed to be a mentally underdeveloped group but I hope for their own sake they're not that stupid! Early in the film, one of the characters refers to Jaws as being a 'mechanical toy' but the croc here looks at least 10 times less real than Spielberg's great white shark. The visual effects in 'Blood Surf' are amateurish and the massacres fail to impress. I won't say too much about the acting since it's secondary in flicks like this. The girls look sexy in wet shirts and their boobs joyfully bounce while running away from the beast. You guessed right: Blood Surf is a very bad film. So bad it becomes fun again. But 'funny' for a whole other reason than James Hickox intended.

Hey folks, basically I think every comment I have read on this movie is absolutely correct! And to ME that means, accept that this is going to be really really horribly bad and get over yourself! Watch it when you are in the mood to just sneer at how stupid a movie can be. I for one get into some profoundly silly moods and a piece of crap like this really fits the bill.

Steer clear if you are a top-notch-only viewer or a genre purist. But if you can get a kick out of seeing exercises in futility, I think this one stands out! I would NEVER pay real money to see something like this in a theater though. Er...Not on purpose.

Sometimes I rest my head and think about the reasons why movies about killer sharks and/or crocodiles are still getting made these days. They've been making these lame "Jaws"-copies since the 70s, it's not like they're getting any more well-liked. The idea is still exactly the same. So we have an animal that starts murdering people. First it takes down some secondary characters, then it starts attacking the main characters, usually played by a couple of nobodies except for someone who used to be a bit more famous, who usually plays a specialist. One of the main characters usually dies before the others kill the animal somehow, usually with an explosion. Then, we usually get a last shot where we see that the animal is still alive, or has laid eggs, etc. etc. "Krocodylus" basically uses the same overused ideas, and does absolutely nothing to create even a tad bit of variation. Unless you count the fact that the "specialist" is a captain in this one variation, in that case your standards are pretty low. It's funny that he's played by Duncan Regehr though, he like totally used to be Zorro.Hell I'll give it a bonus point for that.

I have seen very few films as awful as this. It's not even a proper film, it's a woeful attempt at filmaking by people who obviously have no idea what they are doing. The way the giant crocodile is killed at the end is just beyond ridiculous, and filmed in the worst possible way. This film is terrible, and everybody who has seen it, everybody who worked on it, must realise it's terrible. Why was it even made?

I have to say it: if the Sci-fi channel can't find anything even moderately worthwhile to fill time slots, they should just let the screen go blank for a couple of hours. I find it hard to comment on this vile effort without resorting to long strings of four-letter words. If not for the scenery--both topographical and feminine--this would easily be in the running for the WORST MOVIE EVER.

Bad acting, stupid plot, inane characters... Even Nancy Reagan would have relented, and advised the perps to "just say yes"; being doped to the gills could only have resulted in a vastly improved flick.

Don't watch it.

Don't watch it.

Whatever you do, DON'T WATCH IT.