Cheerleaders Beach Party

Upon discovering that their three best football players are being lured away by a nearby university, four cheerleaders named "Monica" (Elizabeth Loredan), "Sissy" (Lynn Hastings), "Toni" (Jamie Jenson) and "Sheryl" (Gloria Upson) decide to pay a visit to the other school and turn the tables on them by trying to convince those players to return. While there they also come up with a plan to recruit some of the other team's player to their school as well. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that this was a rather weak "Drive-in movie" which suffered from a rather mundane plot, very poor action sequences and a mediocre script. As far as the cheerleaders were concerned, I thought Elizabeth Loredan and Jamie Jenson were the prettiest of the bunch but then that's just my opinion and others are free to disagree. In any case, although there are several other "Cheerleader films" made during this particular time-period, I don't consider this to be one of the better ones and for that reason I have rated it accordingly. Below average.

I was flipping thru the free movies on On-Demand when I found Cherrleaders Beach Party. Always being up for a 70's teen sex comedy I thought why not. The only good thing I can really say about it was that at least it was in the free section. I can honestly say that I didn't laugh once during the ninety minutes it took to watch this accuse for a movie.

The plot had a lot of holes and was more like an adult film than a theatrical release. But given the writer that makes sense. There is nudity in this movie but it is kinda sparse. In most of the scenes were someone is topless they usually have there back to the camera or in a dark scenes. I know I watched this movie 30 years after it was made but the humor makes me scratch my head in wonder was this ever funny.

This forgotten college sex comedy from the late '70s caught my eye when I stumbled upon it on YouTube (where it actually runs the full length instead of 10-minute installments for each part as long as commercials are put in between segments). Unfortunately, the nudity is brief and the sex scenes are with this dumb Southern jock that's over real quick with three, individually, of the four cheerleaders that share the starring billing. The fourth falls in love with someone from a rival college and this subplot threatens to get serious which makes some of the scenes just deadly. And, really, all the verbal and visual humor is just lame. So thats a thumbs down for me. Hard to believe porn filmmaker Chuck Vincent actually wrote the story for this...

For some strange reason I have now sat through practically all of these 70's cheerleader movies. Only The Swinging Cheerleaders (directed by Jack Hill) is a drive-in classic, but Satan's Cheerleaders comes close. The Cheerleaders (1972)is truly awful but it does deliver on the softcore sleaze. The Revenge of the Cheerleaders features the disturbing images of a very pregnant Rainbeaux Smith and a not-so-pregnant David Hasselhoff cavorting around in the nude. The Pom-Pom Girls is surprisingly innocent and realistic and might have appealed more to actual 70's teenagers than horny middle-aged men. The Cheerleader's Wild Weekend is forgettable (at least, I've forgotten it). Then there's this movie, which is probably the most obscure of the cycle. The plot resembles that of the original The Cheerleaders where our nubile heroines attempt to "wear out" the opposing team before the big game, except that it's set on the beach (where's Jaws when you need him?) It might be the worst of 70's cheerleader exploitation flicks, but at least it's better than Bring It On.

About the only good thing that I can say about this movie is that it wasn't horribly boring. Faint praise, to be sure, but that's really the best I could come up with. The storyline is slight, there's too much pointless filler, and the jokes consistently miss the mark. I didn't even know the names of the lead characters by the end of the movie, which is a pretty good indication of how uninteresting this was. And while the cast is moderately attractive, there's nowhere near as much skin as you might otherwise expect in a movie with such a tawdry-sounding title. No, I wasn't expecting anything great, or even all that good -- after all, Chuck Vincent wrote this -- but even by the low standards set by previous movies with "cheerleader" in the title, this film really misses the mark.