Radical Jack

I thought the "action movie" genre had its lowest level set at Van Dammit and Steven Seagull movies. I was mistaken. Wow, I'm impressed that Billy Ray Cyrus took the bold move of making an action movie almost totally devoid of action. That takes guts. Too bad it doesn't work any better than you think it would.

They throw a few gallons of flaming gasoline around, toss a car off a cliff, give a standard gun fight, and have some of the most horribly choreographed fight scenes ever put to film, but that about wraps it up for the action. There is a point where a guy takes a swing at Billy in a bar, and the punch is so far off target that it looks like the guy aimed it at the next county, but Billy goes flying anyway. They didn't cut the scene and shoot it again. They just left it in the movie. Too funny.

The rest is all a cliché-fest, right down to the corrupt sheriff and fired bullets throwing sparks when they hit anything besides flesh. (When will movie makers figure out that lead and copper are soft metals and don't ever throw sparks when they hit something? This little movie lie always pisses me off.) Other than that it's just Billy Ray Goodguy vs Bobby Jo Badguy, who proves how bad he is by hitting women and driving a black Hummer. And we know Billy is a good guy because he has a dream catcher hanging from his rear view mirror.

Add some grade Z actors working for free (and worth every penny), and there you have it; a straight to video movie made for those gals that think Billy Ray and his mullet are two of the cutest things ever.

A CIA agent, code named Radical Jack (Billy Ray Cyrus), goes deep undercover to bring down an international arms dealer. In the process, he hopes to find the man responsible for killing his wife and child.

Radical Jack may have been released in 2000, but it feels like an 80s action movie. All the standard 80s clichés are there. I could just imagine someone like Van Damme or Stallone playing the lead. Instead, we have Billy Ray Cyrus. And to my utter amazement, Cyrus is not the biggest weakness in the movie. In fact, I'd say he's one of the few bright spots. As I've already alluded to, the biggest problem comes from a tired, cliché filled plot that brings absolutely nothing new to the action genre. A loner on a motorcycle arrives in a new town and takes a job tending bar. He immediately runs into trouble with the local gun runner's son when the son's girl takes an interest in the new guy. He's an ex-Navy Seal (at least I think he is) who manages to fight off a half-dozen thugs. He's eventually beat-down and goes into hiding. The girl nurses him back to health and the pair fall in love. Together, they bring down the baddies. Sound familiar?

Other low points include: poor fight choreography, a remixed Achy Breaky Heart, and (mostly) bad acting. Other highlights include: Dedee Pfieiffer and . . . well, that's about it. A 3/10 seems about right.

He's a two-fisted, slow-talking drifter who's just blown into town and taken a job as a bartender at the local roadhouse. But he's really a lone government agent under deep cover (don't worry; this is established in the opening scene) who's out to bust a small-town arms dealer. I think the idea behind "Radical Jack" was to make Billy Ray Cyrus an action hero, like "Road House" did for Patrick Swayze, or "Stone Cold" did for Brian Bosworth. If you're thinking, "But Swayze and Bosworth are not exactly the guys at the top of my list of action heroes," well, draw your own conclusions about Cyrus' action-hero future.

"Radical Jack" isn't a bad movie. It's an adequate straight-to-video flick, with good-looking actors, atrocious dialogue, cheesy action, and attractive scenery. I just wish it didn't seem as if everyone were taking it so seriously. The movie's set in Vermont, but the script contains references to "rednecks"...c'mon, how seriously can you take that? Lighten up, everyone. This isn't a Steven Seagal movie!

Here's an example. A character has been savagely kicked and beaten, and was nearly killed. He's being nursed back to health by an attractive woman. One thing leads to another, and suddenly she's on top of him, kissing his chest. "I...I can't," he says. "Why," she asks. And he goes off on some long tale about his tragic past. A more clever screenplay would have had him reply, "Because I have a few miles of bandages around my broken ribs, and you're sitting on my chest, that's why!"

But the movie's worth a rental, I think, as long as you're in the right mood. If you think you're getting a high-quality action thriller, you'll be miserable. But if you're the type to talk back to your TV, a la "Mystery Science Theater 3000," "Radical Jack" will have you howling.

If there was a universal checklist for action movies, this movie used it! Mysterious drifter? Check? One guy controls the whole town? Check! Guy has dates hot babe against her will, though its inevitable she will fall for our mullet headed hero? Check-mate! This movie is so thoroughly by the numbers you can see the ending at the beginning of the movie. Ex- country music one hit wonder Billy Ray Cyrus ought to stick to his day job. 1 star - at least he no longer has a mullet.

Horrible and only redeemed by the RiffTrax version which makes it amusing. Who invests money in this crap?