The New Women

Hello, out there in god-forsaken hick-ville - the dialog is intentionally stilted in that stylized old Hollywood way. The film is called The New Women - perhaps you have never seen a little picture titled The Women? I am certain that film is somewhere here on the IMDb, you should look it up. Do you reckon people really talk the way the characters do in that film? Or any of those films from the Golden Age of Hollywood, for that matter? Do real women really speak like Mildred Pierce? Do real men really speak like Welles's Kane? It's not about naturalism. The realism you seem to desire came with the 1950s, and was a reaction against the Old Hollywood style of dialog. This movie makes no attempt at realism, I mean, honestly! Unless you've been ingesting some fine Virginia-grown 'shrooms, I am going to assume you are simply a bit, um, slow.

Wonderful sci-fi take on George Cukor's classic THE WOMEN. The witty script is filled with smart satire and great dialogue. Mary Woronov from EATING RAOUL and DEATH RACE 200O is brilliant in the leading role of Lisa LaStrada. She carries the movie with an inspired performance that shows off her wide range of comic and dramatic talents. Jamie Tolbert, Sandra Kinder and Jane Ray are outstanding newcomers who play Woronov's friends. Roma Maffia from PROFILER gives an exceptional comic performance as the town tramp and Amy Hill from ALL AMERICAN GIRL brings down the house as a new-age guru. If you can see this movie, DO IT!

What could have been a brilliant satire about civilization in a post-penile society gets mercilessly crushed under the weight of a clunky, wordy screenplay (NO one talks the way these characters do), horribly amateurish direction, and some of the worst production values since the days of 50s sci-fi. You'll laugh (but not at the jokes), you'll cry (out of agony), you'll wonder if it will ever end! Mary Woronov does an admirable job of trying to rise above the drudgery, but even her wealth of talent can't save this turkey. Filmed entirely in black and white (You know... "artsy!"), it looks like it was shot on video to save money. But no matter; even lustrous color wouldn't have helped. Lines fall flat. Cuts jump awkwardly. The action rolls along like a square wheel. Odd camera angles appear for no apparent conceptual reason. And when not speaking, the actors often look desperately hopeful but cruelly embarrassed. One has to hope that neither director Todd Hughes nor the producers quit their day jobs to make this, because from this effort it appears that none of them have ever actually seen a movie before, but have had one carefully described to them by a third party. With even a passing nod to semi-professional production or writing, this could have been a gem -- but the New Women smells like old fish. Run away, run away!