Ghost Stories: Graveyard Thriller

Ghost Stories: Graveyard Thriller (1986) is a movie I recently watched on Tubi. The storyline consists of a series of characters who tell short stories in a graveyard setting. This movie is directed by Lynn Silver and stars Ralph Lucas (Zipperface), Maria Hayden (Bloodlines) and Jules Anton. The presentation of this film felt like a classic PBS special where the cast stands on a set and they film people reading a story. I can tell you I never thought I'd be watching a movie where people stood in front of the camera just talking. The settings, backgrounds and makeup were pretty good. The storylines, like most films based on short stories were uneven. The first couple stories were okay but the final werewolf story was terrible. I will say the female storytellers were pretty good, especially the second lady who was very intense and animated. Overall this is a very unique film that I likely wouldn't recommend but I'm glad I saw once. I'd score this a 3/10 and recommend skipping it.

Picture it: A fake cemetery 1986. Creepy tombstone props from Halloween USA. A cheap fog machine signifies impending doom. The camera cuts to a terrifying plastic owl in a tree. And then five community theater folks monologue "ghost stories" at the camera in bad southern accents. Spooky huh? You betcha, and the VHS box says it's too scary for TV! The stories are fairly unique and a bit more elaborate than your typical ghost stories, but make no mistake: this is mostly unbearable. The story told by the Delta Burke lookalike is the most watchable mostly due to the lady's Burke-iness and funny make-up job, but anybody who gets to the end of this "movie" without turning it off deserves a prize.

Why was this made? When you make an anthology horror film, you're supposed to actually film the scary stories, not just horrible actors telling scary stories. This is making my IQ drop. The stories aren't even scary. The woman who tells the story about Mr. Fox is probably the worse actress I've ever seen. She's definitely up there. The guy who hosts the video seems kinda like an evil Kenny Rogers. The graveyard set is definitely one of the cast or crew members' backyards. Unfortunately for her, the one halfway decent actress in this is far too ugly to ever succeed in her craft. The cringy discomfort factor of this movie is truly through the roof. Only watch this if you're into really intolerably awful movies.

As a lover of really bad B- movies, I think Ghost Stories: Graveyard Thriller is bad at its best. I laughed through the fabulously (obviously) fake graveyard intro, every hokey story told, and the amateur music and sound effects. Its like dinner theater in your own home. Definitely a must for those who like Mystery Science Theater 3000. You absolutely must have a sense of humor to watch, though.