Tales from the Quadead Zone

There are not words in the English language or any language to describe the pure unadulterated evil which exists in this movie.

Imagine a 1980s camcorder with no boom mic and edited with a Commodore 64. I'm not saying that as an insult. Seriously try to imagine that.

I have no idea how this home made monstrosity was committed to video and got a release.

The plot: An anthology of horror starring Shirley; a black trash housewife reading from a book the size of Webster's Dictionary to a ghost. Since we never see the ghost we just have to presume it's there.

The first story focuses on a redneck family so poor their evening ritual is literally fighting to the death over sandwiches around the dinner table. The losers starve.

The eldest son decides to "take it to the next level" by bringing his toy shotgun and murdering his family members to assure himself a sandwich.

So how does this story conclude? It doesn't! It just ends! The first story is also the best. No kidding. It gets worse from here on. Far far worse.

The second story, 'The Brothers' focuses on two black brothers. After the elder's funeral his grave is robbed by the younger brother whom takes him back home to curse him out for 20 minutes about how he stole his wife. That's right! 20 minutes of one man cursing at a dead body! His ultimate revenge is to dress his brother's corpse up like a clown. But this somehow brings his brother back to life! The undead brother strangles his brother while saying something in a computer distorted voice. This distortion sounds like Steven Hawking on super fast forward in 'Twin Peaks' Black Lodge. It's unclear if the audience is even supposed to understand what he's saying and the distortion is intended make his voice sound scary, (now we know what inspired Christopher Nolan to computer distort Christian Bale's voice as Batman) or if the distortion was merely intending to be a scary scream.

With the word "quad" in the title, we'd presume this horror anthology would have four stories but that's it. Shirley's all done reading. There are only two stories! Now Shirley's abusive husband comes home to bitch smack her with the big book. He's angry that she's been talking with the dead. Let's deal with this issue on Steve Wilkos. "I beat her for necromancy." We can only hope that next Mr. Shirley beats up John Edward.

But Shirley busts a cap (cap gun) in her abusive husband. When the police (no they don't have police costumes or fake badges, they're just two guys with toy guns saying they're the police) arrive to arrest Shirley, she slits her own throat while sitting on the toilet. If only she burned her husband alive in his bed, or shot him while eating ice cream, then she'd have nothing to fear from the police.

This is tear your eyes out bad! Aside from the truly horrible "screenplay" the photography is like Abraham Zapruder with helmet cam and the audio is almost completely unintelligible. This is as bad as I gets. And yes, I've seen all of Michael Bay's films. Bay and Chester Novell Turner are destined to be cellmates in hell.

This is sort of all about a book the way Black Devil Doll was about the Doll. Less out and out exploitation and better pacing set this beside that oddity as equally worth seeing for fans. Not only does this have the same Casio pre rap music score this time it has a title song!!!! It will sear your preconceptions of reality. So will "the clown" episode. So will the whispering sounds made by a dead little boy, and so will the ending.

The rest of the film is not on the same level of odd bad strangeness, it actually shows a better grasp of making a movie than Devil Doll which will make it I suppose a step down for some, but it retains much of the odd charm of that film and this time you get multiple stories each with its own oddness. This film is better acted and in many ways easier to watch, it doesn't have as many video glitches in it as Devil Doll did. Who would have thought that a short decade later video would be making inroads on traditional film production and a short decade after that be threatening film itself as a format. These little shot on video oddities show how far video has come. Wow! Poor sound remains major weak spot you'll have to play some things back a few times to hear every black-ed-wood type dialog moment that you should not miss.

Where is Chester Turner now? That's the big question, he deserves some discovery as a pioneer of shot on video horror. And someone please tell me if Black Devil Doll from Hell part 2 really exists or not.

"Tales from the Quadead Zone" is an ultra-cheap horror movie/oddity shot on video from Chester Novell Turner,the man behind "Black Devil Doll from Hell".Turner is an enigmatic man.He was born in 1950,made his first feature film "Black Devil Doll from Hell" in 1984 (possibly in the Philadelphia area),made "Quadead Zone" three years later and supposedly died in a car crash in 1996."Black Devil Doll" star Shirley Jones reads her deceased son Bobby creepy tales from the book called "Tales from the Quadead Zone".The first one involves mass murder in the family of rednecks and the second one involves ghostly clown.After bloody shooting spree fat redneck dies on a gas chair(?)."Tales from the Quadead Zone" is gorier than "Black Devil Doll from Hell",but no less amateurish.There is pretty gory stabbing and suicidal throat slashing.Unforgettable and absurd "Tales from the Quadead Zone" is a must-see for fans of Z-grade trash.6 out of 10.

Tales from the Quadead Zone (1987)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

A woman (Shirley Latanya Jones) is in her small house with the ghost of her dead son who wants to hear some stories. She sits him down in a chair and gets the book called Tales from the Quadead Zone and reads him two tales. The first story deals with a family of eight who only has enough food to feed four. The second story deals with a brother who steals the corpse of his much more successful and popular brother.

Yes, those are the two stories, which might confuse you since the title says "quad" and you might be expected four films. No, you get two and then a wrap-around story dealing with the mother and her ghost child but you have to wonder why a fourth film wasn't added or the title changed. Either way, this here is from filmmaker Chester Novell Turner whose previous movie BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL is without question one of the zaniest and wickedly bad movies ever made. This one here is just as bad on many levels but at the same time there's no question that both films has a certain charm if you're a fan of bad movies.

This thing here is certainly a mess because the first story dealing with the hungry family clocks in what seems like under ten minutes. The story is pretty much set up that the family is hungry and then it's over without any type of conclusion. A real head-scratcher of a sequence. The second story goes on and on and on with the brother constantly talking and laughing at the dead corpse. The first story should have been expanded and the second cut down for sure. Then there's the story with the mother and her dead son, which just drags out to get the running time to a total of 62 minutes!

If you're unaware of Chester Novell Turner then you should know that his movies were recorded on a camcorder with unprofessional actors. The camera-work is pretty bad and even worse is that a lot of times the added on music score is so loud that you can't hear the dialogue being said. Apparently the budget of this was just $11,000 and it certainly shows. With that said, there's no question this is a "bad" movie but if you're into these types of films then it's actually fairly entertaining. It's certainly feels long even at just 62 minutes but bad cinema lovers should eat it up. The rest should just avoid.

After searching high and low I was finally able to procure a copy of this remarkable film. I have to say, it was worth the trouble. As bad movies go, this is the cream of the crop. Though not as wonderful as the splendidly terrible "Black Devil Doll From Hell", "Quadead" does manage to reach tremendous heights of amusement. Bad movie lovers everywhere should track down this film and marvel at its splendor.