Arnis: The Sticks of Death

Roland Dantes is apparently a legendary Filipino bodybuilder, martial artist and actor. All I know is he sports a very cool mustache. He also carries a big stick and knows how to use it to kick bad guy asses.

There is very little information on the internet about this martial arts cheese fest but, if that's your sort of thing, you'll likely enjoy it. I caught the film on late-night TV and found myself hypnotized by the wooden acting, lackluster fight choreography, numerous scenes of shirtless men stretching or working out and 70's porn music. It's like one long episode of SNL's "The Ambiguously Gay Duo." They even rip some soundtrack music from horror classic "Night of the Living Dead!" It is a darned shame that the film has only been released on VHS. This truly deserves remastering and release on DVD or Blu-Ray to achieve the cult status it deserves.

..And what do he uses it then, umm, beating a training dummy, nailing a fence, and fighting at the Arnis world championship tournament. There's no action at all in this film, it's slow as hell and doesn't make any sense.

If you want to watch a good film, stay away from this one.

(BTW. Finnish title for this movie is: Arnien Tappavat Kädet)