Another film watched for the "How Did This Get Made" podcast, "Merlin: The Return" is not just the worst film I've watched for them, but one of the worst I've ever seen.
Having used a spell to trap all the characters of Arthurian legend in another dimension, Merlin (Rik Mayall) is disturbed to learn that Mordred (Craig Sheffer) is communicating with present day scientist Dr. Joan Maxwell (Tia Carrere) and that she is close to a scientific breakthrough that free them. To stop them he. . . . actually what does he do?
I'm genuinely not sure whether the film has a plot that you can follow. A bunch of stuff happens, sure, but motivations, powers and plot seems to alter minute by minute. There are some kids in present day South Africa (don't try and convince me that's the UK film, for it definitely isn't) and they're involved. One of them is threatened by Mordred that they have to kill Merlin, or he'll kill his mother - but like so many other plot points in the film ultimately it comes to nothing.
So, the story is dreadful, as are the visual effects (though this might be expected as it's a low budget film.) but the performances are ... also terrible. With an oddly muted Rik Mayall maintaining his dignity slightly, but the rest of the cast, who are all B-Movie regulars and semi recognisable faces like Adrian Paul are universally awful.
I could keep going but I'll end up repating myself. This is bad.
