Recogiendo los pedazos

This is not mass pop entertainment, but a massive Bunuelian romp by a major director, with lots of name-brand, off-kilter stars. It has its highs and lows, but all-in-all it's an intriguing concoction. Just the feat of getting Woody Allen out of NY and into the desert to play a character named "Tex" is worth seeing. Throw in some great Woody Allen gags ("We Jews didn't intentionally kill Jesus, it was just a party that got out of hand"), a mad trio of investigators from the Vatican (Elliot Gould, Fran Drescher, Andy Dick), and a mayor played by Cheech Marin, and you've a pinata of surprises and fun. It's definitely worth capturing on your TiVo.

There's a way of watching movies in the 21st century. One doesn't. They're called background movies, the equivalent of background music. You stick them on, then ignore them, leaving you free to pursue the important things such as social media, selfies, getting in a tizzy over stuff that's none of your business. And all the while the movie plays in the background, the illusion of company you have the right to ignore.

Picking up the Pieces (2000) is ideal background material. Heck, I'm ignoring it right now. The thing it ain't half bad. Well, actually yes, it is. It's half bad, a third good, and the remainder is a mystery. Woody Allen plays some guy in the witness protection program(me). He has a dog called Pinky and an ex-wife called Candy: ex- because he just murdered her on account of her infidelity. Part of her body becomes a holy relic after a blind lady trips over it and is miraculously cured. This means an influx of interest at the local church - this all happens in Mexico, or Texas, or the border inbetween - which is good news for the bored cleric (David Schwimmer). Trouble is, Candy's lover is a cop and he's on the case, and well, stuff.

Everyone plays according to type. Woody is very Woodyish, Schwimmer is very Rossish, Kiefer Sutherland (the cop) is very badass, and Sharon Stone plays the miracle working bimbo as if it were second nature. They all got well paid to phone it in, and some did so rather better than others. Schwimmer is particularly bad.

But the film is genuinely funny, sporadically, and at other times one can laugh at it, and wonder, who is directing this tripe? What were they thinking?

One thing's for sure, it makes Woody Allen's crime comedy of that year, Small Time Crooks (2000) look masterful by comparison. There he's opposite a Frenchie instead of a Candy or a Pinky. That one's a bit ragged too, truth be told, but Allen the director is far more in control of his material than the director of Pieces.

A weird double-bill, perhaps? Light up a fatty and settle in for a night of giggles.

I thought it was very funny, but in the morbid sense. The premise and many of the gags were indeed funny to one's dark humorous side. Just as Stephen King "experimented" with several short stories and novels using the pseudonym Richard Bachman, I think many miss the point that this is really Woody's writing/directing, using "Bill Wilson" et al, to try his blacker comedic side. Sharon Stone was great--primarily because as I watched her, I didnt know it was her....until the end of the movie. True Woody Allen affecionados should appreciate this effort!

Maybe it's just the mood I'm in but after a failed first attempt at viewing this film (lasted about 10 minutes) I just finished seeing the "hole" thing and thought "what a great WA film ala the pre-serious Woody phase that he didn't write! This film was obviously not done with the BIG audience in mind, but out of love for the absurd to a sublime degree. Over the top puns abound in a truly profound way. Like for instance, "You can save your ass, or you can save your soul. But you can't save both. You choose, ass....soul...etc.,etc. I can't believe the many stars in this cast (albeit off-ctr types) did this for the money, so they must have had a blast making it. And c'mon folks, tell me you didn't love to see Kieffer hung up and beaten like a pinata with fireworks going off on his body. I hven't seen cast interviews, so I'm not as informed as some of the commenteers here are, but the overall message (last words of Woody)of this movie is not to be ignored: "f__k em if they can't take a joke". Yeah, the production was cheezy, but it fit so well. The patchwork editing just may have been intentional.... I can easily see how people panned this film. But, no offense intended, maybe you take yourself a bit too seriously.

PS: the quip about Jesus' party getting out of hand _was_ Lenny Bruce's comment as stated by Woody in the film.

Ahhhhhh

"Picking Up the Pieces" is one of those nonsense stories that gets morphed into something really neat. In this case, Sheriff Tex Cowley (Woody Allen) tries to bury the body of his wife, but accidentally leaves her hand above the ground. I should identify that her hand has the middle finger sticking out. When a blind woman stumbles upon the hand, she regains her vision, and then the hand starts performing all sorts of miracles.

Yes, it's a totally outlandish idea, but they do some really funny stuff with it. I especially liked the scene with "Ortiz". One might say that this movie looks at the interconnectedness of everything. Maybe. But overall, I'd say that it's an excuse to have fun. And it sure is something to see Woody Allen in a small Texas town. Also starring Sharon Stone, Cheech Marin, David Schwimmer, Maria Grazia Cucinotta, and Kiefer Sutherland.