Pleasurecraft

This movie was probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen. The "special effects" were cheesy and lame, reminiscent of early 90's Power Rangers. It doesn't do much as a porn either. Who watches softcore porn anyway??? Especially at the level of Pleasurecraft. Other movies have way better sex scenes and they're not even considered porn. If you wanna watch porn,watch porn, DO NOT WATCH PLEASURECRAFT.The dialogue was lame, too. There wasn't anything funny about the film. At least Orgy of the Dead had lines like, "More gooold!" Pleasurecraft didn't have anything funny or sexy. and one girl was but ugly, that one who slept with the flying guy, who was "intelligent".

Is 'Pleasurecraft' a good pic? Of course not, but you already knew that. Giving off cheesy Star Trek / Star Wars vibes done on a dime the most important thing to take away is the T&A on display is mildly decent. Yes you'll have to suffer through a boring story (unless you use the FF), but it's not the worst from this genre.

An alliance cruiser with a skeleton crew under the command of Captain Harris (Juan Carlos) pick up some mysterious cargo for transport and then are attacked. Turns out they're supposed to hand over three cute alien ladies (Taimie Hannum, Amber Newman & Brandy Davis) for peace negotiations with another race. They possess sensual telepathic abilities to sexually please those who desire it which makes this mission harder to complete after the crew has shall we say ... sampled the goods.

VR babe (Shayna Ryan) strips within mins of the start supplying boobs, oil, butt and shockingly her muff. A good omen that continues in lovely fashion as all the ladies are shown off decently head to toe. Prerequisite boy/girl romps with the male crew - two for Hannum - and another VR babe (Andrea R. Hargitay), tame girl/girl three-way to round things out.

'Pleasurecraft' has the very definition of a one note story and after you get past a rather cheesy sci-fi aspect / setup it tends to get downright boring and the dialog is a drag. This is the price you're asked to pay for the female flesh.

Brandy projects star level charisma in her part like that of Charlize Theron or Heather Graham.. and she's gorgeous, too! Otherwise this is an adequate soft-core spoof of Star Trek, complete with parodies of Spock, Khan, engineer Scotty, lazer battles, etc. Everything you'd want to see in a late night cable show.

I've seen this movie three times, and every time I've seen it....it leaves me scratching my head.

You see, a ship full of sex starved space dudes (and one android) pick up these three gorgeous women who are being shipped as "cargo" to another planet to squash a potential war.

For those of you who stopped after the word "women", that's where the movie should have stopped also. Unfortunately, it spends most of the 90-odd minutes elaborating on the stuff after "women".

There's way too much "technical" dialogue for this to be a true skin flick; sure, the women are hot and yes, the crew all gets their turn with them (excluding the android, who seemingly has no feeling toward them), case in point:

Hot space babe kisses the android guy.

Hot babe: Hmm, that's strange. Most men desire our kisses. Android guy: Like I said, I'm not like most men.

Hmph.

Did I mention Taimie Hannum is in this?? Well, now I did.

I was hoping for Dinosaur Island in Outer Space, but instead I'm left with....Beach Babes From Beyond. It's hard to say whether "Pleasurecraft" wants to be a "Star Trek" parody or a down-and-dirty, late-night softcore skin flick. There's a cameo appearance by the ever-so-curvy Shayna Ryan in one of the captains dream sequences....great stuff there. Other than that, try to tune out the space jargon and concentrate on the acres of naked flesh you're gonna see.

Why are there people trying to philosophize this movie? Talking about it like it's a real science fiction movie. The dialogue is terrible, the acting is terrible, the f/x are terrible, the story is almost nonexistent. But why go searching for those elements in a softcore porn flick? Because that's what this movie is! When you have beautiful naked women in virtually every scene, do we need much more? If this were a mainstream film, like "Showgirls," I would be concerned if the nudity outweighed all the other elements. But this is a direct-to-video sci-fi porno meant to give pleasure to the male gender--and the females too, if they swing that way. So why is there a user rating of 3.3? Are there feminists commenting on this movie?

The film stars Amber Newman and Taimie Hannum, two of the hottest women of Surrender Cinema. And I liked the blonde one, too. She's also really hot. There are many steamy sex scenes, some straight, some women-on-women, that definitely make this movie worth the rental price.

If you're looking for a film with substance and a story--you're in the wrong section of the video store. At least it's supposed to be put in the adult section. Some video stores put this movie in the sci-fi section.

My score: 8 (out of 10)