Paranoid

I consider myself to be an average movie-goer. Some films may take a few minutes to figure out AFTER you've seen it and those kinds of films are my faves.

"Paranoid" is COMPLETELY devoid of ANY plot of ANY kind. I recently rented this movie for the love of seeing the stunning Jessica Alba. I won't go into detail but just know this: NOTHING gets solved in this movie. It's supposed to be a psychological thriller, so where's the suspense? The intrigue? Or even the PLOT?

Jessica's character is entrapped in a basement for "something" and we NEVER find out what exactly for! There are around 6-7 sub-plots that occur and NOTHING ever gets explained about why they happened! All the characters are completely DEVOID of personality, even the talented Ewen Bremner stalls the movie. Jessica herself is ALWAYS great to look at and it's easy to tell that she is trying her damndest to look like a tortured soul in this mediocre role.

Throughout the entire film, she gives a sour look on her face and never looks back. And to all of you who rented this film because of Jessica's nipple slip, YES, there is one but it is NOT the one in the beginning of the film. Anyway, the other players like Jeanne Tripplehorne, 14-year old Mischa Barton, and Iain Glen (who later starred as the villain in the Tomb Raider flick) really bog down this film. They are SO one-dimensional that you fall asleep as they try to look and act dastardly.

Here's a good example: Iain's character decides to suffocate Jessica's character with a large see-through plastic as she is handcuffed to the bed. Jessica writhes in horror as we see him try to "kill" her. A few seconds later he removes the plastic and says "YEAH! You nearly lost control there, didn't you?" This is another sub-plot that happens and is NEVER explained. AARRGGH!!! And while we're on the subject of disastrous, never-explained subplots, I'll bite the bullet and actually reveal them all right here!

--SUBPLOT #1: Jessica's character loathes her profession and what she's become. This is addressed a few times in the movie but never touched on again.

--SUBPLOT #2: Jessica's character has dual boyfriends. Both are musicians with really sketchy pasts and with really dull plot twists.

--SUBPLOT #3: Jessica's character has a voyeur neighbor who spies on her and gives her gratuitous phone calls. He later becomes integral to the last act of the film but we never find out the who, what, and why of this character. AARRGHH!!

--SUBPLOT #4: In the middle of the film, Iain's character imprisons Jessica for watching a videotape. But a few scenes later, we "find out" that he imprisoned her for something else and we NEVER know why!

--SUBPLOT #5: We find out later in the film that one of Jessica's boyfriend is married (to one of the ladies from "Couplings"). The wife stops by the lodge and sort of brings conflict for a few scenes and then disappears for the rest of the film.

--SUBPLOT #6: What the hell is up with Mischa Barton's character? I can't even begin to describe how useless her character and her own subplot was!

--SUBPLOT #7: Ewen Bremner brings a creepy presence in the film. He does a sort of okay job portraying the straight character. He videotapes everything in the lodge but we never know why!

--SUBPLOT #8: When Jessica first arrives in the lodge, she settles into her room and is being spied on through a sort of "Psycho" peephole. We see this camera trick once or twice and then that's it! We never know who it is or the significance of this peephole.

--SUBPLOT #9: Iain and Jeanne Tripplehorne's characters grill Jessica about her profession. We learn of Jessica's disgust and her lack of control of her life. And then...we never hear about it again.

--SUBPLOT #10: Jessica takes a few pills in the film. Supposedly, this habit leads to her downfall but like the other subplots...never gets mentioned or seen again.

I could go on and on and on with all the B.S. subplots but I think we all know one thing: many subplots DO NOT equal a plot!

In case I haven't mentioned it yet, this film BLOWS! It was a chance to see sexy Jessica strut her stuff and it was a complete waste. To see a more sexy Jessica, go rent "The Sleeping Dictionary". It isn't as bad as "Paranoid" but at least she shines in that film.

Avoid renting this film unless you are a VERY eager Jessica Alba fan. And just in advance: My apologies if you had to endure "Paranoid".

I have a game. I believe I can find something interesting even intriguing in any film. This one tests me sorely because everything about the film itself is completely without merit. The only interesting thing is Jeanne Tripplehorn's presence. What a fall from grace! She was in one of the decade's blockbusters `Basic Instinct.'

In that, she was both attractive and showed some real acting promise. Not great, but promising. Rather like Ms Jolie or Theron at the time of this writing. She was also in the decade's hugest bomb, where her performance was harmoniously bad. How uneven a career. She was a strong harridan in the clever `Sliding Doors.' but helped `Mickey Blue Eyes' tank. "Till There Was You" was weakened by her. Now she shows up in a TV level piece of tripe. She could have saved this for me, because she had the chorus role. But she just didn't have the stuff. Is it drugs? Is it just random ups and downs?

I have not seen her in `Timecode.' That promises to be an important film for me. Let's hope for the best.

I thought this movie wasn't extremely bad. It did run a little long..but maintaining your interest for about the middle 3o mins and a slighty good ending which left you with the feeling that the movie was semi-good. Alba wasn't really good ... I agree that it looked like she was constipated with the acting she was portraying. final grade 5 out of 10. I mean dam it has a 3.2 right now... i really doubt it deserves that.

This is one of the worst "movies" you'll ever see. There is a very good reason that it went straight to video, because it's just plain awful. I wouldn't recommend this to someone I really hated, I don't hate anyone that badly. The story is as terrible as the directing, and only the acting is worse. Alba is just awful here and will set new lows in movie performances that will make Luke Skywalker look like a god. The movie's plot isn't worth mentioning because after the first few minutes you won't care. It's about 90 minutes but seems like the Titanic revisited. Don't see this for Alba, just don't see it and do yourself a favor.

The stressed top model Chloe (Jessica Alba) is invited by an acquaintance to a dinner party with some friends of him in a house far from London. She faints and when she wakes up, everybody has left the house but the owner Stan (Ian Glen) and his weird family. She decides to stay until the next morning, but during the night she finds that the group indeed abducted her to use and tape her in sexual orgy.

What a weird and bizarre movie this "Paranoid" is! I am a fan of Jessica Alba, but she is simply awful, with one of the most ridiculous face and performance I have ever seen on screen. I liked the rude but definitely perfect definition of another user about her expression: "seems related to a struggle with constipation". The story has also a huge inconsistency, with a very bad direction and screenplay. Last but not the least, the Brazilian cable television NET summarizes in their crap magazine that "a woman is stalked in a haunted house after having troubles with her car". The same happens in the IMDb Plot Outline: "A young woman is stranded at a mysterious lodge after her car crashes nearby." What movie are they referring to? My vote is five.

Title (Brazil): "A Casa do Mal" ("The House of Evil")