Things

Pretty decent b-movie flick in the vein of Tales From The Crypt and Trilogy Of Terror although lots of gore makes this above and beyond in the blood department. Some bad acting but that is to be expected when you watch a feature like this. Dennis Devine is behind this who has also done Dead Girls which was a decent Rock N Roll Slasher from 1989. This movie is worth checking out as long as you are not expecting too much. Does have tons of gore and blood which was a good thing. Slasher reviewer gives this a thumbs up and says overlook it's faults and just sit back and enjoy the show!!!!!!!!!

I recently picked up a copy of this film for $6.00 at my local Hollywood Liquidators retailer. The film looked fairly bad and I knew I must have it! It's basically a horror anthology with two short horror tales told within a main story. This framework plot does come together in the end (quite unexpectedly too). It's a decent film but it's dragged down by low production values. The acting is pretty bad, except for a few of the lead ladies. The effects are amateurish at best and the nudity is less than you may have expected. Generally the title refers to the two fake and disgusting beasties seen in the film. You're better off seeing the Creepshow movies, the Trilogies of Terror, or the Willies.

I loved this movie. It definitely seems to be as low budget as possible while still being watchable. The frame story is terrible filmed and acted, but the two segments, especially "The Box", are really good and imaginative and surprisingly liberal. The series focused primarily on women, the first one was about prostitutes but they weren't buffoons and the film makers didn't seem to treat them like they were meant to be sex symbols or anything. Which, considering it's a super low budget 90s horror film, you'd kinda figure the opposite. I get why people would hate it, and definitely don't expect anything even B quality. But I gotta say, I'd prefer this over a lot of the regular grade horror films. Things 2 is pretty good as well, but this one certainly takes the cake. The creature effects are really neat too. It just seems like a lot of love and heart was put into this movie, and being made in the early 90s, if anything it makes for an interesting watch.

Some people might paint the picture on this as "campy." While others might credit it with an "Ed Wood style" (apologies to Wood, who at least tried). However, the plain and simple truth here is that it's simply awful.

I imagine that a selectively edited version could have (or did) serve as an eye-roller for Elvira, or Rhonda Sheer's Up All Night, back in the day. Though without them to give us something of interest to look at in between breaks (trust me here, breaks ARE NEEDED) it will be difficult for even the most rabid "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" fan to sit through this.

Some interesting lighting and sparse topless scenes garner it a 2/10, but I'm being generous. Do yourself a favor and find some other THINGS to do, or watch, than this D movie.