No entres al bosque... sola

An awful film by every standard known to man, but there's an endearing quality about it that makes it compulsively watchable. From the random roller skater to the idiotic cops to the grotesquely unattractive couple in the van to the brain dead leads who act like they just woke up from a really long nap, Don't Go in the Woods has something for everyone. It's gory, too, even if it's in a "throw a bucket of fake blood on the actors and see what sticks" variety.

There's "so bad it's good" cinema and then there's director James Bryans' "Don't Go in the Woods". This thing truly reaches a pinnacle of laughable absurdity. While it's not going to appeal to everybody, it's got a highly respectable go for broke attitude, an amazing body count, lots and lots of gore (once it gets going), terrible acting & writing, and a generous amount of belly laughs. These all make it extremely engaging entertainment.

Despite the title, there's plenty of people stupid enough to go into the woods and help our merry maniac (Tom Drury) reach record numbers. Grunting like a constipated pirate, and sporting a hilarious wardrobe, the killer goes about his business. Four outdoorsy types make up our main characters: Peter (Jack McClelland), Ingrid (Mary Gail Artz), Craig (James P. Hayden), and Joanie (Angie Brown).

Bryan swears that he intended this to be a comedy, and it's not that hard to believe him, given how utterly ridiculous his movie is. It hits the ground running - the first person to die bites it within the first three minutes - and delivers sadistic dark humour and bucket loads of blood. Bryans' explanation for the motive behind this murder spree is one of the worst / best that you're likely to hear. Our victims are a colourful bunch - an older couple making out, an artist, an ornithologist, etc. The randomness of the whole thing is delicious.

The dialogue and performances are just uproarious at times. Watch when one character sights the dead body of a friend, and marvel at the faces that they make. The cherry on this sundae is one of the most idiotic music scores that this viewer has ever heard, supplemented by a giggle inducing end credits song that borrows from the Teddy Bears' Picnic.

Objectively speaking, "Don't Go in the Woods" is flat out garbage. But for certain tastes, it's mighty fine garbage.

Co-star Artz actually went on to become a prolific casting director; her first credit in that capacity was "Halloween II", from the same year as this.

Five out of 10.

Yet another of the films that languishes in the hell that is 'Banned by the BBFC'. My only question being 'did you watch a different film to me?' I cannot even begin to think why this was considered banworthy (is that a word?) unless it was 'cos they didn't want to subject us to this!!! This is definitely another one of those 'So Bad they're good' contenders that I love so much I also think that an average mark of 2.2 out of 10 seems a bit harsh for this film I would give it at least a 3!!

Basically this film consists of a 'Crazy Man' running around in the most densely populated 'middle of nowhere' that I have ever seen and killing people with a large Machete on a stick

It really is that SIMPLE

A bunch of campers, lovemakers, skate bunnies, artists, cops, and sightseers are brutally murdered by a

To say Don't Go in the Woods is episodic would be the understatement of the century. There's not a realistic dialogue exchange or a character arc to be found in these treacherous woods. Acting and writing are the kind of amateurish where you really convince yourself that these people have been kept in an attic for their entire lives without human contact and have never had a normal interaction with another human being. There's no other explanation for how bizarre this movie is. Everything is so disjointed like it was made up on the spot or like these were all a bunch of different short films that were edited together to make a feature. That said, it's one of the most hilarious movies I've ever seen in my life and I think I'll probably watch it 500 more times before I die.

One is never sure if this is suppose to be a comedy or just bad film making. A group of obnoxious hikers wonder around a forest getting slaughtered by some deranged mountain man. There is no story so we never know why the killings are taking place. The movies has plenty of bloody death scenes but they are thrown in with out reason.

There are a lot of intentional funny scenes- a woman walking around a house coat in the forest but others are of questionable taste like a poor guy hiking in his wheelchair . The film has been given up a first rate blu ray treatment by Vinegar Syndrome. The print has some stunning Utah locations which could have been put to a better use. The movie has an annoying musical score which is more reason to scream than any thing on screen.