Ying zi jun tuan

I'm a zen master, and there is various practises we employ in order to clear the mind of the everyday babble that all humans endure. One is to ask yourself "What is the sound of one ninja crapping?" and "If a ninja teleports in a forrest and no one is there to see it, does anyone give a crap?" Joseph Lai, Tomas Tang and Godfrey Ho were the undoubted masters at bringing this zen train of though to life, and here is a fine example.

When I say fine, you know what I mean. It's a mid-eighties ninja film (but NOT a cut and paste film), and it's pure, unfiltered, garbage. Therefore it's great! Set initially in New York (Hong Kong with the Stars and Stripes sellotaped to various walls!), we find ourselves meeting two cops, the Chinese John and the Af-Am Spencer, being chewed out by their boss for arresting the senator's son for attempted rape – turns out the chief would have been happier if they'd let him just get on with it. This has nothing to do with anything but the fight is pretty funny.

The plot itself involves John being framed for possessing drugs, escaping jail, and then trying to find out why anyone framed him in the first place. Obviously it's something to do with the drug trade but what you need to know is that there's five 'elemental ninjas' who have amazing powers (water, earth, air, fire, kebabs) that are rendered unamazing by the zero budget of the film. Watching a ninja surfing on a thin piece of bamboo or burrowing underneath sand is soothing to the soul.

So John's got to go up against these dudes while having flashbacks to his own ninja training, which includes a direct rip from the start of Enter the ninja. There's a few twists and turns but no one in their right mind would care about them. These films are all about the brain damaged action and the laughs! And speaking of brain damaging, there's this brilliant bit of editing where John slumps his head over just right when the film cuts to a scene where a door is kicked open, making it look like John smashed his head on a table.

Even better is the overlong sex scene (that John manages to have while the cops are looking for him) not only does this go on forever and THEN reveal that John hadn't yet taken his trousers off, but then the sexy music switches to some bizarre off kilter tune while the actress starts vibrating her arse all over the place. Genius.

There are many, many battles in this one, there's stolen musical cues (like Psycho), and the usual bad dubbing. No one makes films as stupid as this anymore.

Brace yourself, for this is undoubtedly one of the very best and most entertaining ninja-fests ever made!

This movie has it all - dubbing that seems to be perpetually about 2 seconds out of sync with the characters flapping mouths, one of, if not THE most un-erotic lovemaking scene ever committed to celluloid, a ninja surfing on a piece of bamboo(!!!) a soundtrack that liberally borrows i.e steals snippets from other movie scores such as Psycho and Star Wars and some really nifty martial arts action to boot!

Simply put, if you're at all into ninja movies or for that matter B-Movies in general, then you really NEED to see this - it's a veritable classic!

In the same category as "The Ninja Protector" and "Mafia vs. Ninja" this non-stop action movie is a real treat. That is if you like this kind of movies: lots of bad dubbing, unbelievable flying action, terrible acting and funny ninja violence. Most of the cast from "Mafia vs. Ninja" rejoins in this hilarious movie that is a true MUST for any movie maniac!

I've seen more than a few Ninja movies over the years, but it wasn't until just yesterday that I crossed paths with "The Super Ninja" and what a trip it was.

This is an amazingly entertaining Ninjafest, there's so many things happening in this movie, it's almost as if the cast and crew collectively put together a check-list encompassing all things they thought should be in a Ninja movie and as of yet I've never seen a more entertaining title in the genre. Alexander Rei Lo may not be the best known or most charismatic star, but really delivers with his fighting skills and Kuo-Ren Wu must have been one hell of a director who really knew how to put together a thrilling Ninja movie. Hell, they even threw in a great sex scene right in the middle of movie (it can't karate chops and roundhouses all the time, right?) that's accompanied by some utterly terrific sounding vintage porn music, which gets even more terrific as she, I mean he, I mean they, I mean-I mean...the scene, as the scene reaches it's climax. Porn music connoisseurs take note. Speaking of music, this to should be mentioned, there are at least the three selections of Johns Williams' music that were "borrowed" from Star Wars and Indiana Jones and they also used a selection from Psycho. But the Chinese never steal intellectual property from the West, right? LOL!

Take note of the fight choreography and tell me that it isn't among the best you've ever seen and from a photography standpoint it was captured with an amazingly high degree of style and sophistication by the camera crew. Also my full gratitude goes to whoever did the editing, masterfully done. And if that wasn't enough the special effects are often brilliant and tremendously exciting !FISTS OF FIRE! Don't let the films ultra-generic and downright laughably juvenile title >>>THE SUPER NINJA<<< turn you off, because it was helmed by a very talented, experienced, and sophisticated crew who produced brilliant results; with the exception of the script of course...but that can easily be forgiven, because since when are these type of movies known for there writing. Since never. Speaking of dialog, the less than perfect over-dubbing (like many Asian films) makes The Super Ninja more entertaining than it otherwise would have been.

Lastly, if Ninja movies are your kind of thing, well than film buffs, THE SUPER NINJA really IS very super and totally lives up to it's goofy title and is not be missed. Period.

But probably not intentionally so.

The fighting is outrageous. Well choreographed usually, but sped up ridiculously, with the occasional completely inexplicable effect shot thrown in the middle. It looked like a high school student film. But in a good way.

Oh, and the racial politics in this film will stun you. The white guy villain is hilariously over-the-top, and his dialogue (not to mention his bizarre pawing of the lead's girlfriend) will leave you scratching your head and laughing, possibly at the same time.

Still, the best part of this kung fu masterpiece was the dubbing. It all sounded like it was dubbed by one or two guys. The dubbing of the black sidekick was priceless! It completely failed to sound like the man playing the part.

Worth a watch for all the laughs. Not a great film, not even a good one, but a funny one!