Ling mo da jue dou

This is, without a doubt, the worst thing ever put to film, ever, no exceptions! We rented it, thinking it would be good for a laugh. Any movie with a reflective, shiny box has to have something good in it, right? Wrong!

This movie is actually (I am not making this up) two movies spliced together. One was filmed in the USA and is the actual movie (approx. 15 minutes long) and the other is an old Japanese horror flick from the 70's. They are spliced in to one film, but make absolutely no sense together. The only tie-ins are a wedding at the beginning (alluded to in the American half, shown in the Japanese half) and a ridiculous fight between the kick boxer (not from hell) and the devil (who has a picture of a Japanese girl; supposed to be the same as the one in the Asian film, but pathetically/obviously not).

Either of these two movies would have been bad, but together, they are mind-numbingly horrible. To top off the atrocity, both films have been over-dubbed so as to create the illusion that it is one movie instead of two (after all, the USA part was done in English, the other, obviously not). What makes this so bad is that the American parts are saying the same thing as the dub, and it shows. Their lips are simply out of sync.

Nothing can prepare you for the onslaught of junk you will be absorbing if you play this tape. Make certain you do not watch this abomination alone. I really can't exaggerate that. To quote Mr. Cranky (my favorite movie critic): "In the battle against crap, it was an enemy blitzkrieg waged by the Testicle-Stomping Mutants from Hell".

The ninja craze came to it's end, Godfrey Ho directs a few movies about Kickboxing and kickboxers, this is what i call "Kickboxing Era" in the Godfrey Ho career.

I am surprised, the title of the movie is actually accurate, the movie deals with a kickboxer who must kick the ass of some other kickboxers that are Lucifer's servants, i was even expecting to see Jesus fighting Lucifer.

If you are familiar with Godfrey Ho movies, you will probably know that in most of his movies you get "2 movies in 1", in this case, Godfrey Ho put in the movie some unreleased Asian feature about ghosts, it's watchable in my opinion, but the Kickboxer segment is better ! The fights are pretty decent, but don't expect high level choreography.

I loved the location of the movie (i am talking about the kickboxers segment), it looks like it has been filmed in a natural park and a abandoned warehouse The soundtrack is cheesy, we even get the Halloween theme....in a fight scene !

With a story line that has been 'done to death', action which appears to have been inspired by my nan's old folks home, and the effects of some primary school annual play, this film is definitely not for watching, I feel sick even thinking about it.... I have to go (quick).

Wey hey! - Here we are again with yet another cut & paste aberration from our old pal, Godfrey Ho (hiding here beneath his Alton Cheung pseudonym). And what a corker this is to! Yes, here we have the story of Sean, a man who is busy minding his own business training in the middle of a forest with his brother one day in preparation for a kickboxing tournament when out of the blue, a hapless damsel in distress suddenly crashes out of the bushes and begs for help. It turns out that she is hotly pursued by a bunch of Hessian sack wearing, face painted satanists who promptly exchange a few obscenities with our hero before he hands them their rear ends. Great stuff so far then! Matters become a little more confusing though as (as per usual) Ho edits this new footage into an older Asian film (in this case a rather enjoyable Japanese vengeful-ghost story). OK, so anyway, back to our man Sean and he is somewhat sceptical of the saved damsels story as she relates it, which concerns Lucifer himself trying to have her killed(!) Nonetheless, despite this initial rebuttal, Sean is dragged into the fold after his brother is murdered by Lucifer's number one henchman. The stage is now set for a climatic showdown between Sean, his brothers murderer and finally, Old Nick himself! Well, what can I say? How can one not warm to such a fantastic scenario as that described? Of course, the film itself is bloody terrible (as anyone with half a brain will deduce immediately upon learning of Godfrey Ho's involvement) but......it is also terribly entertaining precisely on account of its sheer absurdity in addition to the usual dreadful acting, voice over work, and general hopeless implementation. All in all, great stuff then! For fans of crappy movies, this is highly recommended stuff!