White Phantom

Another movie that I had never even heard about prior to sitting down to watch it for the first time here in 2025. But I can't say that I harbored the biggest of expectations to the movie, as the 1980s ninja movies were rather cheesy. But I still opted to watch the movie on account of it being a movie that I hadn't already seen.

Writers Chris Gallagher, David Hamilton and Dusty Nelson put together a rather generic and monotonous script and storyline. So it wasn't particularly entertaining or enjoyable to sit through this 1987 movie. And the movie advertised ninjas on the cover, but there were hardly any ninjas in the movie. So that was majorly disappointing.

The only familiar face on the cast list for me was actor Bo Svenson. The acting performances in "White Phantom" were adequate when taking into consideration the limitations imposed by the script.

The action and fight sequences in the movie were fair, but again take into consideration that this was some cheesy late 1980s cash-in on the success of the ninja movies.

This is hardly a ninja or martial arts movie that I would recommend for people to rush out and track down. Nor is it a movie that will ever grace my screen a second time.

My rating of director Dusty Nelson's 1987 movie "White Phantom" lands on a generous three out of ten stars.

This movie is not terrible. I've seen worse. In the late 80's, ninja movies were in and this was one of them. Sure the fight-choreography is slow, but the dance choreography rocks. Page Leong is sexy in this!!! It could have had a little nudity, but eh, what're you gonna do? Also the story is better than a lot of the cgi loaded garbage that is in theaters these days. This movie is campy and fun. I'll bet Quentin Tarantino likes this movie. Bo Svenson ruled as Colonel Slater. If you like pro wrestling, you'll like this flick. Storytelling for it's own sake. Like Shakespeare said, "The play is the thing.". This movie is probably hard to find, but if you can find it I'd recommend picking it up.

Don't let the rating from other people fool you: this film is definitely not 4.5 out of 10. it's more like 1. The acting in this film is terrible, and the plot only has around 30 lines of actual dialogue in it. The film is based around a nuclear weapon, yet this seems to become less and less a part of the film as it progresses until at the end it's completely forgotten about and you're left wondering who exactly holds the power to wipe out an entire city. The fighting (if you can call it that) looks like it's been coreographed by an eleven year old, it is slow, wooden and predictable. The only thing this film has going for it is that if you watch it with a bunch of friends, at least you can laugh at the film makers and wonder just what exactly they were thinking when they made this movie. A character called "Ears"? Honestly... It's truly truly awful, and if there's one film to avoid it's White Phantom.

This & other gems of ninja wisdom are sprinkled over you in "White Phantom." It starts out with a ninja striptease. Then you meet "Ears", the gangster who is never seen without his headphones on (and that stylishly-knotted Hawaiian shirt!) Of course he gets trounced by the harmonica-playing flying/dancing White Ninja (who uses the startlingly effective Rocky Balboa punching puppet to K.O. him). The White Ninja is a strange creature...I mean, gee, what's that big white thing over there in the bushes? All he needs is a set of bunny ears! Add ninja rafts & mysterious multi-color modular future homes, & you've got one of the best bad ninja films ever (take that Godfrey Ho)!

A Slap-happy yokel in a beige overcoat, who is supposed to be the stories hero, spends most of his time tipping his Yankees hat to kids and strangers while strolling from brothel to basketball court to strip joint playing his harmonica as he enters every scene.

Immediately upon seeing the White Phantom the first time, I'm was laughing and hoping that he will shave at some point in the film. I'll leave that for you to find out for yourselves. I will say this, his nutsy patchy attempt of a beard didn't make the it to the box cover.

The film doesn't establish it's location very well. It begins with a noisy eating guy with California plates who gets his cargo ganked. It cuts to a steamy ninja dance and the real action begins. I can only assume from the street signs that the new location, which is for the remainder of the film, is in China or perhaps Hong Kong. The confusing part is every character that doesn't speak English speaks Mandarin. To confuse this further, the film is rife with ninjas, which ninjas are from Japanese culture. So Japanese Ninjas in China who speak Chinese? The White Phantom doesn't appear until midway through the film and when it comes to action, he's so ninja he uses his fists to fight off 50 camouflage ninjas with swords.

If this hasn't convinced you that you should rent or preferably BUY this film, then maybe the mention of multiple games of Rock, Paper, Scissors are played in Chinese. That's hot action! Also, there are some minor bare foot shots for those who might be interested.

If you like campy fun, you can laugh your way through this. 'White Phantom - Enemy of Darkness' has earned a special rank in my collection of bad films. The camera work is respectable, the story ridiculous, the characters silly. In summary, this film proved to me why White Ninjas are always unhappy - they can never get those pesky dirt, grass, and blood stains out!

SLAM DUNK!