If you have ever wondered what sort of creative route the writers of Melrose Place might have taken if the show had been made for cable instead of Fox, Body Shots probably comes closest to what you might imagine. It has the same ridiculous scenarios and characters you can't stand, but with graphic sex scenes and explicit language.
Directed by Michael Cristofer (Hush) and written by David McKenna (American History X), Body Shots is the story of eight twenty-somethings still struggling with commitment issues, insecurities, and their libidos. One night on the town, the four men: Sean Patrick Flannery (Simply Irresistible), Jerry O' Connell (The 60's), Ron Livingston (Office Space) and Brad Rowe (Stonebrook), and the four women: Tara Reid (American Pie), Amanda Peet (Simply Irresistible), Emily Procter (Guinevere), and Sybil Temchen (The Passion of Ayn Rand) each pair off under different circumstances, and we are shown each of their "affairs" through a combination of flashbacks, testimonies, and "actual" footage. The film is divided up into three parts, Foreplay, Good Sex/Bad Sex and Afterplay. These subdivisions have no relevance to the plot of the movie, and seem to serve no purpose other than to make the film look trendy.
Dispersed throughout the film were mini-confessions a la the "Real World" where each character ruminates on sex, relationships and men and women. What makes these monologues so absurd is that none of these characters are likable and therefore, their two-cents are uninspiring and completely unamusing. The acting is this film was truly horrendous. It took the cake for worst acting ever. Come to think of it, it took the whole godamn cake store.
A rape scenario is introduced and most of the movie focuses on the two disputing testimonies of those involved. However the he said/she said conflicting stories are cliche and I felt as though I was watching a really bad after-school special. The movie is chock-full of cheesy camera effects such as fade-ins and fade-outs, painfully long close-ups, and unnecessary slow motion. Perhaps the director was hoping to make up for the movie's weak plot, bad dialogue, and horrendous acting with style, but no amount of gloss or tricks could have saved this film. Its two-dimensional characters, countless clichés, and obvious ending make Body Shots as unpleasant as your worst hangover.
