Femalien 2

I had seen this movie on the shelves of my local video store, stuffed b/w other sci-fi flicks (b/c it garnered an R rating and wasn't regulated to the back room). Obviously, it looked extremely laughable, but there wasn't any way in hell I was about to spend money to see it. Then I had the pleasure (or, displeasure, depending on which angle I think about it from) to catch in on Cinemax. Of course I realize it is soft-core porn, and I guess it places it above much of it's company, but it's still extremely nauseating.

I think it was fortunate that the movie involved aliens since we can be accepting of the fact that the actors cannot give their characters any emotion or substance ("They're aliens, aliens don't care about anything"). It's a very handy tool to cover up bad acting. It also seemed like the director didn't have quite enough footage and then decided to lengthen the film by splicing in footage from the original as flashback/delayed mental telepathy scenes (perhaps this is not the case, as I didn't see Femalien 1, but it certainly seemed like it).

Plus, all the characters didn't quite seem to be in on the script. I still don't know exactly what the name of the missing "femalien" is. Every character seemed to say it differently! Kara, Kira, Kari, Kerry? I guess the director thought they were mumbling sufficiently that the audience wouldn't notice (which they almost were).

Other laughable elements include:

-the all-in-one locator/transporter/communication device Xeda (I think that was her name) carried around that seemed to be nothing more than a portable cd player they picked up for about 19.99 (probably a big chunk of the overall budget)

-The strip club they visit seems surprisingly swinging despite it being about 10:00 a.m on a Tuesday.

-The completely immersive VR experience they have requires only a headset and gloves to accomplish...maybe they were touching themselves.

-The VR wrestling scene was obviously filmed in the director's back yard, complete with neighboring houses and a mess of overhead high tension wires.

-Mr. UFO Fanatic tracking the aliens must not think he could encounter them outside b/c he always enters a location mere seconds after they leave. Didn't he see them walking out when he walked in? And when he was constantly told they just left, why didn't he run out the door trying to catch them? I think he just wanted to impress his dumb girlfriend...he certainly didn't impress me.

-The "outtakes" during the credits...I never imagined there were takes they didn't use.

-The shortage of male extras...the same line-less guy is in the flashback massage sex scene and the VR fantasy water sex scene. I hope he got payed overtime!

Even the obviously, and poorly, simulated sex scenes were laughable. It struggles to be average in the soft porn category and by any other judgement it makes you marvel at it's crappyness.

I used to hold out hope, but this movie convinced me there isn't intelligent life in the universe.

I had the unfortunate pleasure of viewing this movie at the local video store, and man it really sucks. They must have begged the censors for an R rating because there is very little sex in this movie. The plot would be considered bad for a porn movie, and it will bore you to tears. If you must see something like this, check out the first Femalien for a much higher quality film.

I really couldn't recommend "Femalien II" to anybody at all except that Venesa Taylor is amazing hot. Unfortunately for us she doesn't show off her breasts enough and is content to play Peeping Tom and ask stupid questions. The sex scenes are pretty stupid, especially the one where, almost the entire time, we see the guy's penis, and there's no erection at all. Still, we do eventually see Venesa naked, and it's almost worth the wait. Almost.

I went into this movie expecting nothing more than your typical late-night Cinemax soft-porn, but was somewhat surprised. This movie actually displays some marginally clever writing and humor. There are some cute scenes, like the couple posing with some "Roswell" Gray Aliens in a park, and a Man in Black who disdainfully looks over a sunglasses rack before sticking with his own. Hey, it's nothing very profound, but at least the stars are good to look at, the sex scenes are done with a bit of imagination, and the writing is halfway-decent. By soft-porn standards, that puts it heads and shoulders above most of the rest.

I am ... or was quite surprised when I saw this back to back with the first one. It really is a sequel! The main character from the first one is not seen that much here, but she plays a big role ... a role why the other aliens (they all look like humans - hot ones at that) came on earth ... sorry to earth! No pun intended. Actually both of course.

That being said, there are way more sex scenes in this, but way shorter ones than in the first movie. I did skip them too, which was a bit more difficult, since they ran only a few minutes each and not almost ten minutes or whatever it was with the other one. I do wonder how the two other femalien movies handle things - no pun intended.

Not sure if naked ladies getting it on with hot studs while some music is playing in the background is your thing ... if it is, do a double ... feature! No shame in getting it on or having some fun with this. The actors did the same thing ... almost literally. They clearly had fun doing it ... I mean this.