Camino al infierno

Going by the date, poster and title, I had assumed that Sometimes Aunt Martha Does Dreadful Things would be a dark comedy/horror in the same vein as What's the Matter with Helen? (1971) and Whoever Slew Auntie Roo? (1972). I couldn't have been more wrong: what we actually have here is an independent '70s exploitation oddity that is hard to pigeon-hole because of its sheer lunacy. All I can say is that it is a one of a kind movie - and that's probably a good thing, 'cos I wouldn't want to stumble upon another like it.

Abe Zwick and Wayne Crawford star as escaped criminals Paul and Stanley, who have gone into hiding in Miami, Paul dressing in drag to pose as 'Aunt Martha' while youngster Stanley pretends to be Martha's nephew. As Paul looks after the house (he really does enjoy being Martha!), Stanley gets high on dope and attracts the attention of all the pretty girls in the neighbourhood, who want to get into his flared snakeskin pants. Stanley freaks out whenever the girls go for his groin, and pushes them away, but this still doesn't stop Paul from becoming jealous (it is implied that he and Stanley are lovers) and, in a frenzy of bad editing, getting all stabby with his kitchen knife.

When Stanley invites junkie Hubert (Don Craig) to stay for a while, Paul becomes even more twitchy, untrusting of his new house guest; and rightly so, for Hubert is on the hunt for the stash of stolen jewellery that Paul has hidden in the fireplace.

The sole directorial credit for Thomas Casey - and it's not hard to see why - Sometimes Aunt Martha Does Dreadful Things is a cheap, poorly directed, shoddily compiled and badly acted piece of hippie trash that can only be of interest to those who actively seek out obscure cinematic garbage of the most inept kind, or those who took part in its creation.

2/10 for the gratuitous nudity from several groovy young ladies, and that's being generous.

Don't be deceived by the misleading title, because the truth is that Aunt Martha CONSTANTLY does dreadful things. In fact, "Aunt Martha" is one badass brick of a Bea Arthur lookin' transvestite who's on the lam after robbing a bank, and living incognito with Stanley, "her" virile, but dope-addled lover/accomplice. And while she may seem like a charm-schooled and self composed hostess, Aunt Martha's infernal hostilities are easily roused by the winsome young girls who follow Stanley home from time to time. Quick to exterminate these potential threats in a variety of gruesome ways, Aunt Martha proves herself a most formidable adversary when it comes to competing for Stanley's affections.

Delightfully off-hand weirdness, AUNT MARTHA is archetypal of the anything-goes craziness of low-budget 70s cinema...a film so abstractly imagined and impulsively realized, it alights with a desultory otherness so reverently sincere that it steals a place in your heart usually reserved for awkwardly cross-bred puppies. Forgivable of its general inelegance, this is a fine specimen of a most exiguous film species.

7/10.

Ordering movies by odd titles has always been a thing with me. Imagine my surprise when I got this one in the mail! You're never really sure at the beginning if Abe Zwick is supposed to be a man or woman. Then when he answers the phone at his house he says in a soft, feminine voice, "hello?" He repeats it once more. Then his face contorts into a frown and in a deep, bass voice says, "STANLEY!" (Stanley being his boyfriend who always ends up hooking up with women, even though he's gay). That scene sets the tone for the film and it's the two leads, Paul and Stanley who set the energetic tone of the film. This is a must see for any lover of bad films. On an interesting side note, Paul (played by Abe Zwick) looks a lot like a young Andy Kaufman.

A 70's B-movie about a transvestite from Baltimore, who's on the run from the law??? Sounds good to me. Actually, Aunt Martha (Paul) is only wearing the female garb, as a disguise. It's not like he's really into it, or anything... Alright, fine, maybe a little. Aunt Ma-I mean Paul pretends to be the possessive aunt of his partner-in-crime (Stanley), but when nobody's around, he drops the "aunt" but flat-out refuses to drop possessiveness. So, it's pretty obvious this high-strung fellow has a few problems. Or maybe they're just boyfriends, I'm not sure.maybe Paul just thinks they are, or maybe Stanley just isn't a very good one. Stanley is a bit of a rascal. Always rebelling against his "partner"-in-crime/pseudo-aunt, who's either screaming at him about smoking weed, or chasing him around with scissors, since he refuses to get a hair cut. Seeing Paul get so worked up amuses Stanley to no end, which is what makes this movie so entertaining. Well, that and all the murders. Not exactly an epic, but terribly over-looked, considering this movie is apart of the Florida Exploitation boom of the 60's and early 70's, which gave us such inept gold as Blood Freak and Two Thousand Maniacs. Yet another potential classic still not released on DVD. I would think Something Weird Video would have stepped up long before now. It would just seem right. Perhaps Subversive is interested. Anyone who digs Herschell Gordon Lewis Exploitation from the 60's and John Waters trash from the 70's seriously needs to see this. Not that there's any gore or anything really, really disgusting involved. I guess you'll just have to settle for odd and hilarious, which totally beats boring and dull any day of the week. Anyone itching for some obscure/vintage cult cinema will be more than satisfied with Aunt Martha. And that, B-movie fans, is a guarantee. 8/10

The working title was: "Don't Spank Baby".

Wayne Crawford went on to become a successful producer, films like Valley Girl, Night of the Comet and others, even though he wasn't too terrific in this little Gem. And little known Abe Zwick should have gotten tons of work from this film but didn't. Filmed at Moberly Studios in Hollywood Florida, on the same lot the early Tarzan movies were filmed. This film is definitely for those who appreciate the abstract. The movie was originally shot with much more bloody graphic slasher scenes. For reasons only known to Tom Casey the Director, the bloody slasher scenes were given a tab of LSD, and replaced by Flash Editing. Even though this version is worthy of a look for those so inclined, in my opinion the original version would have packed the punch needed to make this a full on Slasher 70's Cult Classic.