Vampire on Bikini Beach

Well, there were vampires and there were plenty of bikinis, so I suppose the film did deliver what the title promised. If you are not into 80s nostalgia, you'll find this tale of teenagers finding a "Book of the Dead" and uncovering a vampire cult ridiculous and unwatchable. The film did capture the vibe of the 1980s pretty well, with tons of 80s hair, music, fashion, and, as you'd expect, bikinis, so I did enjoy the film for nostalgia value and that's really the only reason to watch. Overall, as a proud member of gen-x, the retro nostalgia was enough to hold my interest in this amateurishly made low budget horror/comedy, but certainly do not go into this film expecting "The Lost Boys."

Unbelievably bad beyond comprehension. Plus the movie is infested by weird and obnoxious young people from the 1980s with their stupid hair and clothes. I was blown away by the stupid plot, script, acting, and even sound effects. In one scene, a collapsing building sounds exactly like a person with long, drawn out flatulence, and there are birds chirping nonstop at night for no apparent reason. Quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen except for "Us" (2019).

I totally agree with another reviewer that said this a fun, yet sad watch, for the nostalgia alone. Why sad? Because I was a teenager in the '80's, and we had lives, like the kids in this movie. Kids worked to get cars, or worked on cars, had friends who were in bands (I'm remembering you, 'Obscene Jester') and had a fun and satisfying existence, WITH NO PARENTS ANYWHERE. We were out every night, having fun, solving our own problems, and living lives, instead of fake posting the lives we wished we had. We also had music, decent TV, hanging out, and even falling in love (like the two new lovers in this movie), instead of PornHub. Kids also had enough internal fortitude to solve their own problems, like ya know, vampires. That's why this movie doesn't suck (pun intended). And for those of you that think '80's fashion is stupid, I'll say, at least we took time to care about our appearance, and had a STYLE. That ended with the '90's. Now everyone's a fat slob, who thinks it's ok to be George Costanza, and go out in sweat pants. We had a lot of art in our lives back then, look at all the art in this movie, the outfits, the music, the car, the bar decorations, even the graffiti is cool. So I don't hate on the haters of this movie, instead I feel horribly sad for them. They don't even realize, they missed the party...

Group of super models mixing business with pleasure on a tropical island fall prey to vampires who stalk and kill the models in between hot photo shoots. A " USA Up All Night" favorite, this so called vampire movie is just really an excuse to showcase beautiful women in certain state of undress. It is rather cheap looking and this production leaves much to be desired, but there is a good amount of T & A which should keep you more then entertained.

Rated R; Violence, Nudity, Sexual Situations, and Profanity.

I saw this movie twice. The first time was on "USA Up All Night" when I left my friends at some bar where the girls weren't biting and went home to watch TV, still more than a little drunk. The second time was more recently, middle-aged like I am now and stone-cold sober.

The movie itself is nothing to write home about. Like a lot of "USA Up All Night" movies, it is very, very low-budget. It is a complete failure as a vampire movie and only a little better as a bikini movie (there is some nudity, but precious little, and it would have been edited out on "USA Up All Night" anyway). The best part of the movie though was when "USA Up All Night" host Gilbert Gottfried did a fake commercial for an album of the "Greatest Hits of Bob's Band". "Bob" is the completely untalented boyfriend of the lead bikini-clad bimbo in this movie. His band has all of two songs (both awful) and the commercial just scrolled these two songs over and over while "Bob's Band" plays them "live" in scenes from this dumbass movie. I fell out of the chair laughing. It was the best time a young guy could possibly have in the early 90's all by himself on a Saturday night with all his clothes on.

Seeing this movie later, eh. It's not really worth it. It REALLY needs Gilbert Gottfried.