Advice from a Caterpillar

Why? Why did they make this movie? If Timothy Olyphant wasn't shirtless in it several times, there would be ABSOLUTELY no reason to watch this movie, ever. Um...Plot? Nope. Well-defined characters? nope. The only time I laughed was when my boyfriend made fun of the whole she-bang. P.S. Andy Dick? Nope.

Playwright Douglas Carter Beane's stageplay has been turned into an idealized urban fairy tale of the "love conquers all" variety. Beane (who wrote the vastly more entertaining AS BEES IN HONEY DROWN) has a way with city wit, and manages some funny lines - if you happen to be a Greenwich Village performance artists or a theatre queen. This turf was somewhat better handled in TRICK. Otherwise this simple story of an artsy gal (Cynthia Nixon) and her gay best friend (Andy Dick) being in love with the same bi stud is fairly easy-going. Aside from Beane's barbs, best fun is watching for the playwright's Drama Dept. actor friends in cameos. If you haunt the Off-Broadway scene, this one's worth a peek, otherwise stick with TV's "Sex in the City" or reruns of "News Radio". Better yet, wait for your local community theatre to produce AS BEES IN HONEY DROWN, then go!

Yes, As Bees in Honey Drown is great. You should go see it. But "Advice..." is a good movie. The three main characters played by Cynthia Nixon, Andy Dick and Timothy Olyphant- are great actors and make this film extremely worthy of your time. Though touches of nixon's "miranda" neurosis seep through her character, the whole cast does a great job of showing how love can always win.

This film concerns purportedly non-establishment types (aesthetically and sexually) who apparently cannot resist basic romantic needs. Although some excellent players take part, including Jon Tenney, Timothy Olyphant, and Cynthia Nixon, they are grounded by a puerile script which relies nearly totally upon clever dialogue; which isn't. Nixon's role possesses the best lines, but she often homes in on them too quickly, a timing flaw which must be saddled upon the director. The grotesque climax utilizes every available cliche, spent or not, and fittingly ends this drab attempt at comedy.

As soon as Cynthia Nixon's character spies the naked Brat (Timothy Oliphant) sleeping in her gay friend's bed and her eyes betray her interest, we know that they will be together by the end of the film. That's the way movie cliches work. Missy (Nixon) a pop-fad artist, who has an amazing success showing home movies of her childhood with narration, is having an affair with a married man whose character is given in the credits as "Suit" (Jon Tenny). If there is humour in this film, I missed it. Obviously the final confrontation scene in the diner with a commenting chorus of patrons is meant to be a hoot. But it's too far-fetched and contrived even for this film. And one can't really have a "Romance" if one doesn't care about the characters involved in said romance. But I think there is a greater problem with this film. Let me explain. If films continued to depict Afro-Americans as toadying Uncle Toms, I am certain that here would be vehement cries of anger and protest. Yet this film dares to portray a gay man as the swishy, queenly creature that bigoted Americans think all gays are. Worse than that, it tells us that any bi-sexual man can be "cured" by the love of a good woman. Yet even accepting this preposterous and insulting thesis, it is inconceivable that Timothy Oliphant's character would have Andy Dick's homely, effeminate character as a regular sex-partner and/or fall in love with the irritating creature played by Cynthia Nixon. This film not only angered me. It was an insult to my intelligence.