- Laney Boggs: I feel just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. You know, except for the whole hooker thing.
- Laney Boggs: Screw the dolphins.
- Jesse Jackson: A guy tried that last year, banned from Sea World for life.
- Taylor Vaughan: Careful of what? OK, I could win this thing in flourescent lighting, on the first day of my period, cloaked in T.J. Maxx. Ok? My mother was prom queen in '71, my cousin - prom queen in '82, and my sister would have been prom queen in '94 if it wasn't for that scam on the Conway Bed tour bus, okay? I am a goddamn legacy, all right? And besides, not to be a bitch, but who's gonna beat Taylor Vaughan?
- Katie: God, I hope that's not your acceptance speech.
- Zach Siler: So, Laney, I was wondering if you wanted to...
- [Laney walks away]
- Zach Siler: ...embarrass me horribly in front of all these people.
- Dean Sampson: His dad owns Harrison Ford.
- Laney Boggs: The actor?
- Dean Sampson: No, the car dealership.
- [first lines]
- Laney Boggs: Simon! Simon, I have got your breakfast! Are you up?
- Simon Boggs: Give me a couple of minutes.
- Laney Boggs: Simon Boggs, there are children in Mexico who have already been up for three hours making clothes for corporate America.
- Mackenzie Siler: When was the last time you tweezed?
- Laney Boggs: What?
- Mackenzie Siler: I mean your eyebrows.
- Laney Boggs: Never, why?
- Mackenzie Siler: Ever watch Sesame Street?
- Laney Boggs: Yeah.
- Mackenzie Siler: You know Bert?
- Zach Siler: What was that?
- Laney Boggs: I was busy.
- Zach Siler: Yeah, busy wiggin'.
- Laney Boggs: I did not wig.
- Zach Siler: Oh, there was major wiggage.
- Dean Sampson: I mean, the girl's an institution in this place. Every girl wants to be her, and every guy wants to nail her.
- Preston: Basically she's you, with tits.
- Zach Siler: This is all fascinating, Taylor, but could you skip to the part where you decided to screw me over?
- Jesse Jackson: I'm Jesse Jackson. I'm not a good dancer.
- Mackenzie Siler: I'm Mac. I go to school with 500 chicks.
- Brock Hudson: You didn't really think I'd leave for All-Star "Road Rules" and still be dating you? Oh, you did? That's so sweet.
- Zach Siler: Give her the right look, the right boyfriend, and bam. In six weeks she's being named prom queen.
- Dean Sampson: Alright boys, check it out. Room number 409 is about to become a historical landmark.
- Preston: [chuckles] Why, are you getting murdered there later?
- Taylor Vaughan: [spilling drink on Laney] Oh, oopsie. You know, you really should be more careful with silk.
- Laney Boggs: Thank you.
- Taylor Vaughan: Excuse me?
- Laney Boggs: Thank you. For a minute there, I forgot why I avoided places like this and people like you.
- Taylor Vaughan: Avoided us? Honey, look around you. To everyone here who matters, you're vapor, you're spam, a waste of perfectly good yearbook space, and nothing's ever gonna change that.
- [Laney's eyes tear up]
- Taylor Vaughan: Oh, you aren't going to cry are you?
- Zach Siler: Has anyone see Taylor?
- Chandler: What?
- Zach Siler: You know, Taylor, my girlfriend.
- Dean Sampson: Kinda tall, yells at everyone?
- Zach Siler: Brock Hudson? What kind of a name is that?
- Taylor Vaughan: What kind of a name is "Zach?" OK, Brock is from "The Real World."
- Zach Siler: What, Resceda?
- Taylor Vaughan: No, like the TV show. "Real World LA". Second season. Hello?
- Zach Siler: The dyslexic volleyball guy? Yo, they kicked him out of the house.
- Zach Siler: [Simon is being bullied by Munge and Derek in the cafeteria and are separated by Zach] You're gonna take your magazine, get over there, and you apologize to my friend Simon.
- Derek Funkhouser Rutley: [half-heartedly] Sorry.
- Jeffrey Munge Rylander: [guardedly] Sorry.
- Zach Siler: [to Derek] You... pube boy. Grab the pizza.
- [Derek holds the pube-laced pizza up]
- Zach Siler: Well?
- Derek Funkhouser Rutley: Well what?
- Zach Siler: [smiles] What do you think? Hoover it.
- [Derek hesitates]
- Zach Siler: Now!
- [others groan in disgust]
- Zach Siler: That's it... chew, chew, chew.
- Zach Siler: [after Munge chuckles] Don't finish that... Munge wants some of the action.
- Jeffrey Munge Rylander: No way, man. Those are his pubes.
- Zach Siler: Well, you should have thought about that before you picked on my friend Simon.
- Simon Boggs: [gloating to Munge] Hoover it.
- Jeffrey Munge Rylander: [Derek hands pizza to Munge] Thanks.
- Zack Siler: You know I made that bet before I knew you, Laney. Before I really knew me.
- Laney Boggs: What was it for anyway? I mean, what did you end up losing?
- Zack Siler: My best friend. She taught me a lot. Before her, I thought we had to have all the answers right now.
- Laney Boggs: And now?
- Zack Siler: I'm kinda liking the fact that I don't.
- Zack Siler: So, can I have the last dance?
- Laney Boggs: No, you can have the first.
- Dean Sampson: One second, you're Zach Siler, class president, stand-out athlete, all-around bad-ass mamba-jahamba; the next thing you know, you're Zach Siler, bitch-boy.
- [last lines]
- Principal Stickley: [at graduation] Dean Sampson, Jr.!
- Dean Sampson: [being tapped by girl] What?
- Girl: They are calling you.
- Dean Sampson: Huh?
- Principal Stickley: Dean Sampson, Jr.?... Alex Chason Sawyer, Rainwater Skies Sebastian, Pacey Constance Shea... Zachary Siler.
- [cheering heard]
- Mackenzie Siler: Nothing personal, Laney, but this particular... coif, doesn't really go with your face shape.
- Laney Boggs: What do you have in mind?
- Mackenzie Siler: Well, I have an idea.
- Laney Boggs: What kind of idea?
- Mackenzie Siler: ...You'd really have to trust me.
- Taylor Vaughan: You didn't think you became popular for real, did you? Oh, you did? That's so sweet.