Hong tiao jing

An utterly confusing and inept blend of martial arts, horror and comedy that fails on all fronts, yet still manages to entertain (mostly through bizarre dialogue and crap effects). Sadly, a few wacky moments can't elevate this this anything more than barely-watchable.

I watched this with friends and we had a laugh at some scenes and also in trying to piece together our various interpretations of the plot, aided somewhat by the DVD blurb. Essentially, three roguish vagabonds/grave-robbers tumble into the midst of a situation involving a sorcerer who is killing off local virgins. In a fairly stock character arc, one man (Tony) goes from goofy fool to shaolin hero who must defeat the villain. A vampire also turns up to confuse matters.

My favourite moment was when a clearly taxidermied owl on a string was yanked off a branch to simulate flight. That's how bad and hokey this is.

Avoid. There are far better "bad" movies out there.

Almost nothing is more hokey and dumb than this, but don't feel discouraged about seeing it, cause it's funnier than any comedy you'll ever find. It's just that bad. It begins with three idiots that slightly resemble the three stooges, but they are also grave robbers, and they're being chased by this evil vampire guy because one of them stole a golden swastika from some coffin( whose coffin this is, we never find out). From then on, you'll find every cliché in the book, with mind-controlling vampires, a possession scene thats totally ripped off of the Exorcist, and a crapload of dream sequences that seem to pop up over and over again, making you wonder if anything thats really happening in the movie is actually really happening, or is just another ridiculous dream. But don't forget what I said before. This movie is FUNNY! Go ahead and watch it.

The video box cover presents this flick as a hybrid of the martial arts and horror genres. Upon renting it, I figured that if it did not succeed as a horror flick (which was not likely anyway), that it would at least have some good martial arts sequences -- or vice versa. Well, it fails on all counts.

Basically a series of lame, crude comedy sketches. Bad dubbing. A ripoff.

Greetings And Salutations, and welcome to my review of Dragon Against Vampire; here's the breakdown of my ratings:

Story: 0.50 Direction: 0.75 Pace: 0.50 Acting: 1.00 Enjoyment: 0.50

TOTAL: 3.25 out of 10.00.

There's only one thing in Dragon Against Vampire that the movie gets right. The Vampire. However, this isn't your regular blood-sucker, being more of a sanguinarian warlock than a Count Dracula. And that notion leads to some darker veins of blood drinking.

Godfrey Ho, who scripted this Asian horror, needed to take the imagination that created the Vampire and utilise it in his other characters. Because it's here, the tale starts to falter. Even though the Vampire is a fresh take on the mythos, the blood-sucker's persona is weak, which is the case for everyone in the story. He should be a strong character, somebody to be feared. And though we hear the scared villages talking about the monster attacking the women. If they saw him, they wouldn't be afraid anymore. He doesn't possess the "Don't Mess With Me" air that's evident in most Vamps. He's powerful and unstoppable and should exude that confidence to make a good bad guy. And then you have inconsistencies in the narrative. The three principal individuals of the tale are grave robbers looking for quick wealth in the golden teeth of the dead. But when they come across a coffin lying in a hut in the forest, they're scared to open it. When the leader of the thieves finally lifts the lid, he shuts his eyes tight and pretends to look. This action is contrary to what we witnessed fifteen minutes previous as they open a coffin, unwrap the deceased, pry his jaws open to hunt for gold teeth, and pat down the rest of the corpse for jewellery. These lapses in continuity and lack of attention to detail hinder the story.

Additional to the weak storyline and uninteresting characters is the below-average cinematography of director Lionel Leung. The whole project has an amateur feel to it. The lighting is poor, especially in low-light scenes. His composition of shots is slightly off and a tad skewiff, which are exampled best in the fight and blood-drinking scenes. You can tell he's trying to shoot the segment engagingly and excitingly. Sadly they fall flat. But worst of all, for me, is the camera shakes. I loathe the style because it allows for poor skills to be permitted. Dragon Against Vampire came out years before the horrid Blair Witch Project, so the shakey style wasn't conventional and was considered unskilled. One or two segments are permittable because crap happens, but in Dragon, it's pretty constant.

The cast is the best thing about the whole picture - after the refreshened Vampire. The performers aren't brilliant, but they do the best with what they have, and you can't fault them for that. Regrettably, none shine through or are memorable, which should've been the case for the actors portraying, The Vampire, The Shaolin Master, and Tony, the hero.

I would love to see this story revamped for the modern day and incorporate more robust, credible, and relatable characters. The bare bones of a great story and entertaining movie are here. They just weren't maximised for their best effect and potential. Because of that, I can't recommend anybody to watch this film. It's too dull and uninteresting to warrant wasting an hour and a half of your precious time.

Miss? If you could please bring your knees together, you're letting a draft in, and there are no vampires in this joint. While you wait for a blood gulper to arrive, feel free to peruse my IMDb list - Absolute Horror to see where I rated Dragon Against Vampire.

Take Care & Stay Well.

Okay, first of all, this movie confused me so utterly the first ten times i saw it that i had to just keep watching it until it made sense. I wondered (and still do) if the people who dubbed it for release in the US even owned a translation, or if they just made all the dialogue up on the fly. But honestly, DRAGON AGAINST VAMPIRE has EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! It has a magic kung fu master who scampers around on his hands because he never leaves full lotus position. When we first meet him, he seems to be living underground. There are random flashbacks that are difficult to distinguish from dream sequences or all the other random parts of the movie. There is a fat man who pounds his belly a lot and cooks and eats a dog. Suddenly the waitress' pants fall down. And then they are haunted. Random bad things happen. There are bells and strings on the ground. What's going on? Why are their faces on the billboard? Why is that man trying to beat them up on the side of the road? Good god, is he escaping on top of a giant tortoise or is it a motor-propelled log? What is going on?????????

Anyway, Do you get my drift here? Eventually i understood what it all meant and how it fit together (as you will too, with time and patience), but if you put your intellectual sensibilities aside for just a little while, this is one of the greatest, most nonsensical pieces of cheap cinema ever available for $3.99 at your local five-and-dime (i bought mine at Woolworth's before they went out of business and have never regretted it for a moment!!!!). I strongly recommend this movie to everyone with a good sense of humor, a loose grip on reality, and an alcoholic beverage (or else a peculiar friend who never stops laughing and can speak in funny voices).