The Pandora Project

This movie is probably one of the worst action movies I've ever seen. The plot (if there is one) is the same as in all simple action movies. That's not too bad really. However, they managed to make it even worse. Seeing an overweight guy walking in the middle of nowhere pretending he's a super marine is terrible. The special effects are a disaster... Eye candy consists of the occasional bright flash (*duh*). The stupid girl-gets-caught-by-enemy; guy-frees-girl; guy-kills-enemy routine is mind-numbingly dull. In short: I wouldn't recommend this movie even to my arch-enemy.

Due to the character limit I'll toss good grammar to the wind and just do some run-on listing.

Pro's: possibly *zero* gratuitous swearing, pockets of appropriate orchestral music, some beautiful aerial photography and ground scenery, some experienced acting, a few nods/tributes paid to other movies including a funny Clint Eastwood-ish scene, no young-and-cookie-cutter actors, good/believable explosions, some pretty good "energy bomb" effects, excellent voice track, especially compared to some other B-movies, and the credits show *two* fire safety advisors, an excellent thing. Unfortunately, the credits got cut off to start a Pokecrap cartoon.

Con's: movie can't hold my attention for long spurts, something about Baldwin's hair is very bad, some amateurish and over-cooked acting, a guy gets shot on left and spins to the right, another guy gets shot on left and falls backward, straight to the floor like a stiff board that got hit dead-center, some unnecessary "Old West" guitar-twangin' and some attempts at humor that seem badly written and/or poorly acted.

Probably because of the huge success "Under Seige" enjoyed, and I imagine continues to enjoy on video with action fans, Erika Eleniak of "Baywatch" fame has molded a career in and out of military action films. Most have been direct-to-video, all have been duds, including the Dennis Hopper comedy "Chasers." Considering that most ex-Playboy centerfolds concentrate on erotic videos it could be worse. If Erika's handlers were trying to mold her into a female Chuck Norris, okay, great idea, but she's mostly the damsel in distress, hence, a second banana. That's too bad, because Erika Eleniak is a good actress, easy on the eyes, and the type of star a studio used to mold into academy award winning status. She should have easily taken the roles offered to Sharon Stone and moved onto the roles offered Julia Roberts. I suppose when a great actress is saddled into cheap flicks she eventually reaches cult status (film noir queen Sally Forrest comes to mind).

The movie was moving along fine, the hero has a beautiful princess, the bad knight kidnaps the princess, now the hero must rescue the princess from the black knight. Same ole, same ole. until they got to the big face to face. Baldwin is going to kill Tyson and keep the money for himself. But before he does that he tells Eleniak to exit the vehicle, when she gets next to the bad guy, you know it, bad guy grabs girl wrestles her into the truck and then we have the perennial chase, Baldwin dives into back of truck, starts punching bad guy while bad guys driving truck, How stupid do you think the viewers are? If the writers can't think of a good intelligent ending, please don't even start the movie.

The plot is hackneyed and I believe that some of the footage was actually taken from Top Gun and Patriot Games. This is just a BAD movie, which is a pity because Baldwin has done some quality stuff in the past, and Eleniak is actually a good actress. However, it seems that both need to do projects like this to pay their mortgages.