Bai ma hei qi

By the time this was made, Bolo already had done dozens of the 100+ acting gigs on his resume. In this debut as director, he seemingly lost his way. Incoherent plot, with transitions so wrenching at least some of the discordance must have come from edits for Western markets. Many movements (especially a lot of arms flailing in random directions, nearly a zip code away from any opponent) during the fights that were usually the main appeal of these flicks were just plain bizarre, even for chopsocky comedies of that era.

Bolo only had one more directing credit. This shows why he belonged IN FRONT of the camera (where he was an absolute Rock Star), and NOT behind it. Look elsewhere for your Bolo fix.

Martial arts man mountain Bolo Yeung stars in, and playfully directs this riotous Kung Fu comedy alongside his fellow talented artistes: Jason Piao Pai, Tung-Kua ai, and Lung Chan. Two eccentric prisoners are arbitrarily called upon to become sheriff of a sleepy, vice-ridden village, thereby unleashing a stupendously joyful salvo of mirthsome madcap Kung Fu jackanapes! With a bounty of frantic knockabout chop socky, and exuberantly mounted slapstick silliness, Bolo has an absurdist 'Carry On Kung Fu' vibe that I strongly connected with. While legendarily adept at playing iconic Kung Fu heavies, it is a rare delight indeed to see Bolo so exuberantly expressing his no less masterful clowning expertise!

This kung fu comedy from 1977 seems to be taking a page from jackie chan's book but without so much a thought given to anything as quaint as a plot. Lots and lots and lots of excellently choreographed fights which seem to happen for no particularly connected reasons. There's something about bolo becoming a sheriff but past that i couldn't tell why anything that was happening on screen was happening. A bunch of fairly low brow humor abounds and that was decent, a few good laughs are in there. And in the strangest twist the soundtrack seems to consist mainly of an elevator muzak version of Blood, Sweat & Tears' song You've Made Me so Very Happy. Probably should have watched this high.

I have reviewed quite a few martial arts films over the last few years, so my hating this film isn't because I don't like the genre. Also, I have a very high tolerance for "bad" martial arts films, so this one had to be really, really bad for me to give up on and and not even finish the film (something I rarely ever do). Understand that I have watched such films to its conclusion as one with guys in gorilla costumes doing kung fu and their masters using their three foot tongues as weapons--yet I just couldn't finish BOLO.

So why did I hate this film so much? Well, it was the worst of all possible worlds. First, the print from EPI/Gotham City was just terrible and the film only came in the cheesy dubbed version. Second, the film was too often played for very broad and dumb laughs. Googly eyes, silly grins, dumb cartoon-like sound effects and an annoying over-the-top gay character all were painfully unfunny. Third, even with bad dubbing and dumb comedy(?), the film could have been decent if the martial arts action had been better--which it wasn't. Instead of hitting each other or doing what looks like real martial arts, it was too choreographed and looked quite fake. Midway through the film, I was fantasizing about Sonny Chiba stomping onto the set and kicking everyone's butt--that's how much I disliked the film.

Yuck.

This movie opens with the premise that if a new sheriff is needed you select two prisoners and give them the job with a reminder not to run off. Captain Obvious says "Realism will not be necessary". They steal a blind guys wagon but in the next scene they are attacked while walking separately. Next they arrive at a brothel and meet Eric Tsang in drag. Bolo wants the ugliest woman in the brothel.

At about this point I gave up trying to summarize what was happening. The scenes were so incoherent it would take longer to describe what was happening than it would take to watch and in either case you still wouldn't understand it.

The fights were also impossible to describe. They were not fighting but what was that? I just can't explain the arms flapping around and the legs moving.

There is no story to the point where whatever is happening at any moment turns into something unrelated in the next minute. Yet still I kept watching because they were still in a brothel and girls and perhaps bare breasts. Since spoilers are forbidden I cannot say what I saw.

Since I cannot explain nor summarize this movie I also cannot review this movie nor rate it nor recommend it.