Teletubbies

This is simply the WEIRDEST kiddie show I have ever seen...just looky at all those phone-poles that pop up from everywhere. Reminds me of my old humidifier that sat on my dresser when I was a toddler. It looked just like a little UFO in the dark and it scared the living daylights out of me even at such a young age. The same thing goes for "Noo-Noo", that bizarre-looking vacuum-cleaner with wriggling light-up eyes and a long sucking trunk. That thing would frighten the poor little tots half to death!

The aliens themselves are curiously portrayed as parentless kitten-faced infants with hare lips and monkey ears that bodily fell from the outer space and forever lost in a rustic paradise with all the hopping bunnies and plastic flowers. They squeak, wriggle, and hug each other for all eternity to come...they certainly act like they don't have any brains in their skulls. And the baby sun...such BRIGHT blue eyes...would giggle and look around as if it doesn't have anything better to do. The big pink pinwheel spins, sprinkling shiny pink stars to stupefy the pot-bellied creatures into delirious submission.

The worse thing of all is how the clippings of tykes doing everyday stuff are forever repeated in the aliens' fat tummies as if the watchers don't know any better...whether they just got off their mother's breasts or not.

This is about 1,000 times more bizarre than Barney & Friends (and that show was majorly foozed up). I actually sat through an entire episode, and by the final credits my brain had tied itself into a knot. Oh, and don't worry about me being biased just because I saw only one episode. You wanna know WHY I'm not biased? Tell 'em Johnny:

Johnny: 'Cause all of the episodes are exactly da same! Ha cha-cha-cha!

Thank you. Here's your typical Teletubbies episode: We see a laughing infant child in the sun, a submarine periscope pops up out of nowhere and tells the Teletubbies what to do, and then one of those spinning toy fans appears and blows dust, making the Teletubbies happy. Okay, wanna hear what really happened now? By obeying the sinister periscope slash Big Brother government, and thus making their Sun Baby God happy, the Teletubbies are rewarded with cocaine. Eh-oh...

Here are some more oddities: The fact that the Teletubbies have this insanely eerie vacuum cleaner slash elephant alien. And the inevitable part of the show where a random Teletubby's belly screen shows us some kids coloring or playing. The fun part of that? We get to see the same footage TWICE. Finally, Roger Ebert once complained that kids could only tell the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles apart from their color or weapon of choice. I say the same for the Teletubbies. They have no personality and can only be told apart by their weird dangly shape things that sit on their noggins.

Oh, and don't even get me started on Tinki Winki. No, it's not a Magic Bag Tinki, it's your purse. Nope, don't wanna hear it. Nadda! Also, you are PURPLE and the dangly shape that's on your head is an ever lovin' TRIANGLE! Not that there's anything WRONG with that, of course, but I just think it's funny how everyone acts like he's not gay. What, we can't have a gay character in a kid's show? Why not??

In short, this is one crrazy show, wouldn't you say so Johnny?

Johnny: You are correct sir! Yes! Ha cha-cha-cha...

I watch this show every day with my two year old sister and she loves this. It may seem inane to all of us mainly because we don't fit in the demographics for this show. They don't speak well but neither do the toddlers. They are on the same level as the toddlers. It's only meant for small children. It bothers me to see people trash this show. I guess some people just can't take children's shows with a simple grain of salt and just keep their annoying comments to themselves.

The "Teletubbies" has to be one of the most Nightmare-inducing TV shows ever (save for Barney and the New Nick JR).

Four creepy-looking "creatures" with television sets in their torsos,doing some strange,nonsensical things that don't make sense and probably give you head aches and trippy nightmares.

I know this is a children's show,but I even know some little kids who are afraid to watch these monsters (yes,I'm serious).

Now,the Skeksis from the "Dark Crystal" on the other hand,are even more lovable than the "Teletubbie" things,and they are pretty frighting enough!

This show, if anything, will slow down the development of a child. When the Teletubbies watch a little film clip in their stomach, thats fine... but then they do it "again!" Ask just about any child psychologist... repetition does nothing for a child except bore it. Children learn many times faster than adults, and they take in all that they are going to on one viewing, during the second one, they are just waiting for the show to get on with it. Maybe if you show it to them another day it might do some good, but not 5 seconds later. Also, this show is aimed at children that are still learning to talk, and the Teletubbies speak in a gibberish. Children are listening for words, trying to figure out what they mean and sound like so they can talk as well. Teletubbies will simply confuse them and slow down that learning process. The scenes are all dragged out too long and make the same point too many times. If you want your child to actually learn from what he sees, show him Sesame Street or something. Even letting the child sit in a room while you watch a soap opera is going to give them a better idea of the English language than this show.