The Suckling

Every once in a while, a movie comes along that forces you to redefine what movies are all about. Sometimes it just looks better than everything else on the market. Sometimes it's just acted better that a lot of other movies in its genre. And sometimes it's just so different that it defies comparison to anything else. There are plenty of movies that live up to the hype and prove themselves, in retrospective articles for years to come, to be the pinnacle of film. Unfortunately, this is not it at all.

The Suckling starts off with one of the worst openings ever that has been used too many times before: The prologue for the movie reveals how many people survive! What is the point of that? I mean, in a film like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, it's still irritating but its placement was so that the movie retained a documentary feel. Here, it is completely pointless and ruins any surprise you may have if you pay attention.

Regardless of that, the movie begins and seems interesting enough. Sure, the acting is terrible and the filming isn't the greatest, but the story has to do with a woman being tricked by her boyfriend and some sweet drugs into getting an abortion. That's cool! The aborted fetus itself doesn't look too bad, and we get some shots of it growing eyes and nails. Soon, it begins killing people, and that's magnificent.

Unfortunately, too much of the film is bogged down by boring moments. As I've said in other reviews, most of the fun of watching a B-Movie like this is to talk about the scenes to your friends later. But there isn't much to talk about here. It's like my complaint with Bubba Ho-Tep: there was so much they could have done with this concept but they totally wasted it. If I were to do this movie, I would have had some Abortion Police come in, armed with coathangers! Instead, this is basically just like every other slasher or monster film we've seen before, except with characters you don't care about (a businessman who says "whore" a lot, a CRAZY guy who is SO CRAZY that there is no gun shot sound effect when he fires his gun, a horrible boyfriend to the main character, a bunch of prostitutes, etc).

Just not really that enjoyable and surprisingly mean-spirited. And what's up with the ending with the skeleton, the guy, and the boy?!

Oh come on! "Sewage Baby" can't be the worst movie ever made. But surely it's one of the crappiest, unintentionally funny exploitation/slasher flicks from the past 20 years.

The premise can be offensive but after half an hour it gets really cheesy and easy to enjoy. We know that the parents' solution for their "mistake" is solved in a truly horrible place where there are whores and also abortion practices. So our classy couple gets rid of their unborn child but little to they know that "him" will turn into a super cheesy monster. The now monster fetus returns where he was aborted and starts a killing spree as part of his revenge.

My guess is that the producers of this movie knew only the basics of film making : they got low budget, an "original" but cheesy idea, and a resolution. The result is almost amateurish film making but with a heart. The movie is entertaining for the bad reasons. There are some things to make fun of. For example, the fetus morph into a mutant is beyond cheesy. The puppet or whatever looks really horrible. The other problem with the movie is the horrid acting. The direction is just bad but not terrible.

This isn't by any means a must see. I won't even recommend it for b-movie fans or horror fans in general. This is one of those movies that you should only see if it's the last, last option in the forgotten VHS section in a local video store.

A 2?! Oh c'mon. It deserves at least a 6 for the baby effects alone, which are pretty good for such a low budget film. First of all disregard the box comments that seem to compare it to die hard or alien because its the furthest thing from that. Look at more as an above average Troma film, which is probably who should have released it in the first place. My quest to see the movie began at a flea market in Wallingford , CT where I saw a guy selling the suckling press kit with a badass "only could have been made in the 90's" T-shirt. It looked Like an all yellow local metal band shirt. I laughed and had a look and new I had to see the film. The press kit came with a small poster on which someone had written a note in marker on the back. It says" Mike, See you Friday aug. 23 midnight bleecker theatre if possible. If not there'll be bigger + better movies next. Pete." I don't know if the suckling was a CT made film, since the company who made it, JER Pictures has a Port Chester , NY address. Either way its pretty funny, or appropriate depending on your thoughts, that the poster hangs directly above my toilet. I say we need to bring on The Suckling 2: Keep on Suckling.

THE SUCKLING opens with a rather bizarre nightmare sequence, followed by a woman and her boyfriend showing up at a combination brothel / abortion "clinic", where they meet several unsavory characters including the utterly odious "Big Mama".

Next, we witness a procedure gone horribly awry. The -obviously rubber- "fetus" is disposed of down the old porcelain receptacle, which is a possible health violation! After a tour of the sewer system, the "fetus" is exposed to some -conveniently placed- toxic waste. This causes an unholy resurrection, and the grotesque / absurd creature springs to life! The transformation scene is a disgusting wonder of ultra-schlock filmmaking!

The action switches back to Big Mama's place, wherein any further exposition is meant only to enhance the wretchedness of those who will soon meet their gruesome, collective doom. Whenever the hateful humans are busy NOT being killed, they blather on for intolerably long periods of time- 80-90% of the movie!

The titular mini-monster, which does grow to giant size, is only seen sporadically. Even then, it's far from spectacular. Making matters worse, any scenes without the creature are simply excruciating! Things pick up a bit by the final 20 minutes or so, but by then, viewers are most likely praying for death.

Heed the warning!...

well. you may guess I was being sarcastic. This is probably the worst film I have ever seen. Sewage Baby is ridicule in its purest form, with awful plot, inconsistent characters, poor editing and a puppet that could have come straight from a cereal packet.. in fact I think it did. oh dear, I don't feel I will recommend this film to anyone but those with a very odd sense of humour, or those who really have no idea about film. Vaguely good idea, yet fails to take off in the slightest. I hope you are not one of those actors...