Anno zero - Guerra nello spazio

WAR OF THE PLANETS begins with flashing, beeping, and a toy spaceship floating around. The ship's crew are wearing red swim caps, perhaps to keep space mold from growing between their ears. The ship's computer, known as WIZ, drones on in monotone fashion, much like an industrial fan.

Astronauts leap from ship to ship, probably trying to escape this movie's pull of death. Actions take place for no discernable reason. A man screams as though something is happening. Nope. WIZ blathers on.

Meanwhile, on Earth, some sort of crisis has developed. Mysterious signals, sounding like chipmunks caught in a storm drain are transmitted to the ship. WIZ gives orders. We discover that the ship has an onboard orgasmatron. Even this is boring.

Lasers flash! Sound effects whoop and bloop! Spaceships spin! WIZ yammers on! My God, this is the Marianas Trench of boredom! Crushing tedium destroying our minds! Pray for us all!

This movie is cinematic arthritis, causing agony with no hope of relief! We know that somewhere, someone said, "Oh yeah, I saw STAR WARS. I can make a movie just like that!". This is the film that George Lucas could have made, had his brain been turned into tuna salad.

This, my friends, is sub-sludge without mercy...

I just finished watching this...and I will be honest...I'd seen a few minutes of it browsing a Digiview DVD compilation...I truly knew from just that few minutes this was probably a stinker, but I watched it because the actresses had tight uniforms. Yes, I know...that's terrible...but I couldn't help myself. Truly, the story was a wash out and watching the girls really was the motivation. I will say that actor, John Richardson was not as bad as everyone else. Too bad he didn't get a film role that he could shine. The ending of the movie is reminiscent of a twilight zone twist, which was a nice touch for those who suffer through it. Directing is almost as good as a high school film production, and a blind grandmother could have done much better cinematography. I read here that a reviewer wrote the special effects were as cruddy as 1950's sci-fi, and I say shame on you for saying that...they not nearly as good as Flash Gordon or War of the Worlds. On the other hand, they are as good as that stuff I just left in the toilet. But seriously, I can't even say that you have to see it to believe it, because in all fairness, you wouldn't believe it. Sadly, this film has been preserved electronically for all to see.

So I concur with most of the reviews that suggest "War of the Planets" is an abomination, and if it weren't for the figure-hugging uniforms (as worn by the female cast), ludicrous skull-caps, a vaguely entertaining climax and a now-rare appearance by one-time international star John Richardson, this Italian sci-fi wouldn't rate at all.

Something of a "2001: A Space Odyssey" rip-off, that also seems to be channeling "Beneath the Planet of the Apes", finds rogue skipper Richardson assigned a supposedly benign mission as penance for his misbehaviour, suddenly thrust into a fatal mission to protect the earth from an omnipotent intergalactic robot that has decimated the inhabitants of a nearby planet.

There's an awful lot of cheesy special effects, unimaginative set decoration, random solar flames and ubiquitous laserblasts, underscored by the typically puerile over-dubbing, and punctuated by Strauss and other stock music of the ilk, serving as some misguided attempt at a sophisticated backdrop. It's actually very tame and very lame with little redeeming qualities. Richardson looks assured despite the tripe, and he's ably assisted by the intense-looking cast of relative unknowns (Yanti Somer, West Buchanan, Vassili Karis and Percy Hogan in a minor supporting role) as they plod through 90 minutes too long of futuristic bunkum.

Too derivative to capture a cult following, just another C-grade snore- fest that's found its way into unsuspecting loungerooms via the 1-cent movie bundles - which is not to suggest every film in those boxes of goodness are as laborious as "War of the Planets", but this is definitely one of the few to avoid.

Yup .. this piece of cinematic doodie, is terrible. Why, Oh why, do I have soft spot for crap movies .. we'll never know. At least I'm not the only one. Apparently this is a kind of follow on from "Planet of the Vampires" .. which although low budget, was quite an entertaining and atmospheric film. It's definitely NOT a Star Wars rip off as it has nothing to do with that.

It starts badly, teeters off in the middle, and the less said about the end the better. Best thing to do if you want to see this is with it on youtube .. there's a few places that have it. I certainly wouldn't buy it unless it's on one of those sci-fi movie box sets that contains 100 awful movies.

I won't dwell on the 'story' .. but needless to say it's badly made. Awful script ... if awful even comes close to describing it. One can't help but blame the director for a lot of the dumb performances because .. well .. it's his fault! Editing is okay, considering the crappy material they had to work with.

But hands down the biggest offence in this film is the music score. Ouch!! .. like being rogered with a prize winning cactus. John Barry proved you could have awesome music in a goody film (Starcrash 1978), so there's no excuse to phone in the score like they did here.

Watch it if you dare, or if you're a sucker for bad movie .. like me! This movie could have been saved if the boys and bots at MST3K had riffed it, sadly it wasn't awful enough for them :P

Would be a good film for a crap-fest!

I am not a fan of the idea that a movie can suck so much and be so terrible that it can, or should, be perceived in any way that which is positive but, at least in description this movie is an exception, fore this movie is so STUPID that it is "a movie almost awesome in its badness", to borrow a phrase! They actually sift music from other films, horror movies & documentaries mostly, & remade it with something that sounds like a 1950s synthesizer...to add to the soundtrack, which is probably the best thing about the film ironically...

The ending is actually far more climactic than I would even have imagined giving them credit for & is probably the 2nd best thing about the film, and I even concede that the women do look good in their figure-hugging outfits, but (...it's not like they get naked!), nothing is redeemed & there is & shall forever never be no forgiveness for this excruciatingly lame-ass sh!t-pile!!