Le scomunicate di San Valentino

'The Sinful Nuns Of Saint Valentine' is a mildly entertaining slice of 70s European nunsploitation. While it never reaches the demented heights of my fave the sensational 'Killer Nun' ('Suor Omicidi'), it's not a bad way to spend 90 minutes.

What we have here is basically a cheap cash in on Ken Russell's superior 'The Devils'. The background is the Inquisition, and the basic plot concerns a pair of lovers from feuding families ala Romeo and Juliet. Esteban, accused of heresy and murder, seeks sanctuary after being wounded in the convent where his lover the beautiful Lucita is being held. Lucita's father has forbidden her to marry Esteban and has banished her to this kooky place ruled over by a wicked Abbess. Esteban must try and save Lucita from taking Orders and clear his own name before he is captured and executed. Events get even more complicated when Lucita is arrested for the murder of a fellow nun, and must face the evil Inquisitor.

Sadly there isn't half as much "sin" on screen as you would expect. A whipping, some lesbianism, a few topless shots, that's about it. The actress who plays Lucita (Jenny Tamburi?) is stunningly beautiful which makes this mediocre movie much easier to sit through, but you can't help but be disappointed with this fairly innocuous, and not all that exploitative exploitation movie. Things finally start to heat up with a mass semi-naked nun freak out in the last 15 minutes, but it's too little, too late. Jess Franco doesn't have much to worry about from Sergio Greco. Very average, but worth a look if you don't get your hopes up.

This movie is such a complete waste of time even for people like me who kind of like the much-maligned "nunsploitation" genre that I'm going to focus on the ONLY conceivable reason to endure this swill--lead actress Jenny Tamburi (who died earlier this year by the way, lest I come off sounding like a stalker). Tamburi (aka Lucia Della Robbins) was one of a truly incredible crop of young Italian actresses that got their start in early 1970's Italian/European genre films. Of them, only Ornella Mutti became a big international star, but Gloria Guida made quite an impression in softcore sex films. Daria Nicolodi kind of fell into the shadow of Dario Argento (but DID give birth to Asia Argento)while Agostina Belli was breathtakingly beautiful but not a strong enough actress to really break into the big leagues. There's MANY other actresses of this era I could mention, but the one talent that I really felt was wasted was Jenny Tamburi.

Tamburi was excellent in a pretty decent Italian giallo "Smile Before Death", but unfortunately I might be the only person who's seen it. (I'd try to describe the incredible nude photography scene she has with Rosalba Neri in that movie, but I don't want to drool all over my keyboard). She was in Fulci's "Seven Black Notes" all too briefly but really managed to liven up that rather dull film while she was on-screen. She was also in "Frankenstein All'Italia" which has never been translated into English, Sergio Martino's "Suspicious Death of a Minor" (which is being released on DVD in September 2006), and the lurid mother/daughter sex fantasy film "La Seduzione" (like Ornella Mutti, she got kind of typecast into sexy teen roles well into her twenties, but unlike Mutti she never got beyond it).

Normally I wouldn't recommend a dire movie like this based on one pretty girl (or even one pretty, naked girl), but then again I've seen every Jess Franco movie featuring Soledad Miranda and a shameful number of them with Lina Romay, so why listen to me? Put it this way: if you enjoy seeing beautiful and talented young Italian actresses from the golden age of Italian exploitation films, I'd recommend checking out ANY available movie on Jenny Tamburi/Lucia Della Robbin's CV--even this one.

Until the annual Quentin Tarantino film fests began in Austin a couple of years back, I must admit to being naive with regards to the Italian Horror genre.

I enjoy, from time to time, a little mindless entertainment shall we say, and The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine could hardly be more mindless. Lots of naked nuns and plenty of the mentally disturbed highlight this 93 minute epic. Don't let me give away the big entombment finish.

Not for all tastes, but if you want to try one on (Italian Horror) this benign little foray is a good starting point. Take on Mario Bava at a later date.

Recently a Belgian/Dutch distributor – to whom I'm very grateful – released a series of sleazy Euro-exploitation movies of the early 70's on DVD under the title "So Demented Cinema". Practically all of the films live up to this title, like "Nude for Satan", "The Reincarnation of Isabel" and "The Devil's Nightmare", but Sergio Grieco's "The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine" is actually a bit of an outcast in the series. Because of its classification under the trashy & typically 70's "Nunsploitation" sub genre (and admittedly because of its lurid yet misleading title) it superficially LOOKS like a demented gem, but in reality it's a surprisingly smut-free and primarily story-driven drama with just a handful of nunsploitation trademarks thrown in for good measure. Speaking in terms of filming style and atmosphere "The Sinful Nuns…" is much more reminiscent to Ken Russell's "The Devils" (I believe both films are even loosely inspired by the same novel) and "Flavia, The Heretic", though it's nearly not as great as these two classics. Fellow reviewers appropriately described the plot as a variation on the Romeo & Juliet theme, only set during the Spanish Inquisition and with nuns instead of battling families. In order to prevent her from marrying Esteban, a hateful nobleman subjects his lovely daughter Lucita to a strict life in the convent whilst he simultaneously reports Esteban as a betrayer of Spain. Soldiers of the Inquisition nearly kill Estaban, but that doesn't stop him from infiltrating the convent (with a little help from the understanding caretaker) and contacting his girl. The deceptive Abbess discovers this and develops a fiendish plan to have them both killed in the name of Catholicism and patriotism. The script is far more compelling and involving than your average movie about lesbian nuns worshiping the devil for no reason, but it also has to be said that "The Sinful Nuns…" is rather tame, boring and not at all sinful. Apart from a handful of scenes depicting the physical torture and humiliation of the young heroine, there's very little to see here. The 'immured nuns' finale is somewhat original, but it appears to go on forever and it rapidly becomes (unintentionally) funny. All in all, there are far better Euro-exploitation treasures begging for rediscovery, so don't waste too much time searching for this one.

Aaaah! The '70s - THE decade of the exploitation movie: Italian cannibal films, blaxploitation, Nazisploitation, and, of course, nunsploitation, of which The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine is a prime example. It's not the most explicit of naughty nun movies, but it does tick a lot of the expected boxes: hot nuns, sex, torture, a crazy abbess, lesbianism, and murder, making it a reasonably fun time for fans of the genre.

Clearly inspired by Romeo and Juliet, the plot sees lovers Lucita (Jenny Tamburi) and Esteban (Paolo Malco) unable to wed because of the long-running feud between their families. To make matters even worse, Lucita is sent to a covent by her father, while Esteban is accused of heresy and hunted by the Inquisition. Chased by three soldiers, Esteban is wounded, but still manages to kill his attackers and make his way to the convent where Lucita is living. Given sanctuary by the verger, Esteban is reunited with Lucita, but not for long... the poor woman is wrongly accused of the murder of her lesbian room-mate Josefa (Bruna Beani) and sentenced to be burned alive. Can Esteban prove her innocence before it is too late?

The naughtiness is limited to bare breasts and butts, and one rather tame sex scene - there's nothing quite on the level of dirty Joe D'amato or sleaze-master Jess Franco - but the women who shed their clothes are mostly attractive, with Tamburi as Lucita being especially sexy; it's no wonder Esteban is willing to risk his life for her. Likewise, the torture isn't too extreme - no nipple slicing or skin flaying on this occasion - but it suffices. Director Sergio Grieco keeps the pace lively throughout, leading to a tense race against time to rescue Lucita from a drooling horde of crazed topless nuns, with a happy ending for these particular star cross'd lovers.