Tom's Midnight Garden

This is a delightful family film - well acted, well produced and quite touching. You may even feel a little bit of a lump in your throat by the end credits. The film really rests on the shoulders of young Anthony Way. I don't know how much acting he has dome, but he does a credible job here. Fair warning: if you and your kids are more into explosions, cartoon violence and fast action then this is not the movie for you. If you and the family are able to sit still and let the story unfold quietly and gently and slowly draw you in then you will really enjoy this. My family certainly did.

I first came across this story when I was a 12 year old watching it on my primary school television. That was back in 1974 and it was a 3 part series. Fast forward to 2008. I managed to track down this version through a website called www.play.com. I sat down and watched it from beginning to end tonight and I was completely captivated by the whole movie. The scenery was breathtaking and the storyline was just as I remembered it. It was one of those movies that you simply did not want to end. I thought the acting was superb throughout but a special mention here for the superb actress that is Joan Plowright. Hers was a small part but she stood out like the fantastic actress she is. A previous reviewer said it was a film that the often criticised British Film Industry is so good at making. I couldn't have put it better myself.

I'd never heard of this movie before today, and had no intention of watching it. I stopped by my parents' house to feed their cat, and offhandedly flipped the TV on, about 10 minutes into the movie. Oh look, I thought, another dry British film. Wow, Greta Scacchi does a pretty good accent. Next thing I knew, I had my coat off, it was 2 hours later, and the film was over. It grabbed me just like that. Of course, I may be biased -- I have a thing for "time travel" stories of any kind, and this one was so subtle that I found it especially intriguing. Anybody who's ever felt a bit alone or abandoned at some point in their life should get a lift from this story. And there's a nice underlying message about the ability of true friendship to transcend both gender and age.

So few people know of this flick. Saw it last year on cable and tried to watch it every time it showed up. Can't purchase on DVD yet. Cast is perfect but it's the English gardens that steal this movie. Add a decent plot and beautiful locations and this one is a hit. Sit back and enjoy, it's delightful.

"Blooming Heck" lisps hapless lead Anthony Way halfway through this flat, poorly acted, poorly directed mess of a film. That's my review in a nutshell if you want to stop reading now. Yep, this isn't going to be pretty, "Garden" fans. What's that? This film has no fans?

Things get off to a bad start the moment (former choirboy, you've been warned...) Way first comes loping and blinking into focus. Based on the book, I'd sort of envisioned the titular Tom as a likable, down to earth sort of boy that most kids could vaguely identify with. As opposed to an awkward, gurning,public school irritant with zero charisma and a terrible hair cut.

Titular indeed.

Because make no mistake, whatever qualities this film possesses (some nice photography and...er), this is car-crash cinema, utterly depth-charged by a central performance so staggeringly poor you'll be agreeing with Elvis (and 78% of all Americans, apparently) that shooting your TV screen with a high-calibre handgun is a a Good Thing. There are scenes in this film where poor Anthony can barely get his words out in the right order, let alone with any semblance of believability. Its as if the director (I use the term loosely)just thought "Sod it, I can't be bothered to re-shoot this idiot, he's not going to get any better..."

But the cross-fade addicted "director" doesn't help himself by fumbling key moments and allowing ham-fisted editing into his final cut. Witness the moment when young Tom comes in from the garden and, blank-faced as ever, drops out of view as the picture quickly fades to black. Has he died? Has he fainted? (probably - he certainly seems the type). What are we supposed to make of this moment? Does anyone making this tosh actually care?

The poor lad is so utterly at sea it must be catching because, whoops, his co-star (as Hattie) is also a total plank. So folks, here's a film centering on two kids and neither of them can act in any way shape or form that convinces. What else is there to rescue this repugnant, BAFTA-courting mess?

How about the music! Ahh the "score"...

You know that saying that the best incidental film music is the unobtrusive variety you don't notice? Well, it's not true, because it it was it would have meant no careers for John Williams, John Barry, Jerry Goldsmith and most of the other great composers. But it still rings true when you have to endure the by-numbers, twee, jingle-jangle hack job of a score that curses this movie's entire running time, without let-up. My poor old teeth are still recovering from the permanent edge this soul-destroyingly trite aural holocaust put them on. This is officially the worst film music of all time, no question, and I've sat through a number of Hans Zimmer/Michael Bay collaborations so I knows da territory folks.

My son is 9 years old and isn't a cynical culture assassin like his Dad; he enjoyed the book and wanted to see this film to see how it came over on screen. At the 10 minute point he turned to me un-prompted and used a colourful adjective (that rhymes with "ducking pit"; I blame the parents) to critique what he was seeing. On this occasion I'll let him off - after all, I've always impressed upon him the importance of telling the truth.

Still, the garden's got hedges shaped like squirrels.

2/10 (for the topiary)